Baines' left foot
Player Valuation: £90m
I wish ffs. I guess I'm not weird enough.
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Tinder
- Thread starter chicoazul
- Start date
- Status
Boss_Blue
I will find you and consensually bum you
Show her your Instagram - you'll be sound.
COYB
Player Valuation: £35m
ive used it before due to lads braggin about meetin up bangin
tidy birds an all an trust me its how they described ffs
that badoo is allright but i get banned because my pics 'dont fit the age limit'
even tho im 23 ?.. i stopped using after some bird sent me feet pics 'sake
[tinder]
tidy birds an all an trust me its how they described ffs
that badoo is allright but i get banned because my pics 'dont fit the age limit'
even tho im 23 ?.. i stopped using after some bird sent me feet pics 'sake
[tinder]
Trust you. Quiggins was great. Aunt Twacky's even better. Bet you don't possess even one prog rock album either. Stick to riding your quad bike along the pavement making your 'house deliveries' you North Liverpool skank.
She really has a thing with vans.
gorgeousgeorgeEFC
Player Valuation: £25m
I went on Tinder last month for only the second time and couldn't believe my luck when this Natalie Sawyer lookalike swiped me. Her name was Janet and she was 39. We got chatting and seemed to have similar interests, so we arranged to go on a date. Being the chivalrous gent that I am, I agreed to meet up with her in her home town - Bradford. She said that she had a luxury apartment overlooking some lake and she hinted that I might be able to stay the night if we got on well. She gave me the address of her local boozer and we arranged a date and a time etc. She said she would be wearing white.
The day of our date finally arrived. Uncharacteristically, I woke up with butterflies in my belly and sweat on my brow. I was excited and a tad nervous at the same time. I dressed up in my best gear, slapped on my best aftershave and headed to Bradford. We were due to meet at 1pm, but I got there early.
There I was, stood at the bar of The Brown Cow Inn with a dozen red roses in my right hand (I kid you not) and a litre of cologne streaming down my neck, when this mature woman walked in at exactly 1pm. She was the spitting image of Theresa May, only she was a couple of years older. And she was wearing an England cricket shirt from the '90s. Anyway, she walked up to the bar and I informed her that I had already been served, pointing to my pint of mild. She completely ignored what I'd said and just stared at me strangely. I looked back at her and she kept staring, not averting her gaze for even a split second. I pretended not to be perturbed by this and just continued sipping my beer and looking at the pub's large tv screen.
Then, the portly landlord walked over and said "What'll you be having then Janet?" It finally dawned on me that this middle-aged woman was the Natalie Sawyer lookalike from online! Gutted.
To cut a long story short, once I'd calmed down I ended up buying her a few drinks. She gave me some spiel about how the photo on Tinder was actually her but that it was taken in the 1970s. Then we went on to a curry house and back to her place. Needless to say, her place was not remotely luxurious, nor was it an apartment, nor did it overlook a lake. Anyway, it turned out to be a decent night in the end, so I can't complain.
The moral of the story is: people are not always honest on Tinder.
The day of our date finally arrived. Uncharacteristically, I woke up with butterflies in my belly and sweat on my brow. I was excited and a tad nervous at the same time. I dressed up in my best gear, slapped on my best aftershave and headed to Bradford. We were due to meet at 1pm, but I got there early.
There I was, stood at the bar of The Brown Cow Inn with a dozen red roses in my right hand (I kid you not) and a litre of cologne streaming down my neck, when this mature woman walked in at exactly 1pm. She was the spitting image of Theresa May, only she was a couple of years older. And she was wearing an England cricket shirt from the '90s. Anyway, she walked up to the bar and I informed her that I had already been served, pointing to my pint of mild. She completely ignored what I'd said and just stared at me strangely. I looked back at her and she kept staring, not averting her gaze for even a split second. I pretended not to be perturbed by this and just continued sipping my beer and looking at the pub's large tv screen.
Then, the portly landlord walked over and said "What'll you be having then Janet?" It finally dawned on me that this middle-aged woman was the Natalie Sawyer lookalike from online! Gutted.
To cut a long story short, once I'd calmed down I ended up buying her a few drinks. She gave me some spiel about how the photo on Tinder was actually her but that it was taken in the 1970s. Then we went on to a curry house and back to her place. Needless to say, her place was not remotely luxurious, nor was it an apartment, nor did it overlook a lake. Anyway, it turned out to be a decent night in the end, so I can't complain.
The moral of the story is: people are not always honest on Tinder.
DownOnTheUpside
Player Valuation: £30m
by 'it overlooks a lake' what she meant was 'you're getting catfished'
gorgeousgeorgeEFC
Player Valuation: £25m
As Rio Ferdinand would say, I got "merked".
Yorkie
Player Valuation: £35m
Brown Cow in Bingley or the one off little Horton lane?
summerisle
The rain, it raineth every day
Where's Marquette ? lol
gorgeousgeorgeEFC
Player Valuation: £25m
Where's Marquette ? lol
It's in Wisconsin, USA.
If all of the women are like her, I'm moving.
silent bob
What a guy.
I think you may be disappointed!
- Status