It’s a big game in the scheme of things this. Away to a team we’d - probably foolishly - want to be battling for one of them top four spots. If you want European football then at some point in the season you need to earn your Spurs. And if that poor quip doesn’t make you press Alt and F4 on your keyboard right now then I'm afraid the rest of this repetitive and dull preview doesn’t really offer much hope.
You see in the past week the media have been pressing the manager and players of this once ace club on what their goals are for the rest of the season. Moyes has sought to play down all expectation throughout the season but we’re into the final furlong now and we’re still in the mix.
Unfortunately there’s the usual conspiring of events which has reduced the usual plentiful European spots giving us the real anxiety of finishing with nothing to show for a pretty productive season.
It's in a way like when you’ve been having a boss time in your twenties, tripping the light fantastic. Suddenly you starting contemplating fiscal mortality and the end game on which you realise that all your mates you’ve been mocking for being pinned down by birds, mortgages and kids have played a good game as there’s a scarcity of nine-out-of-ten-girls left. You’ve got psycho Jane from accounts who sends disturbing flirty text messages, the old squeeze on Facebook who’s gaining more weight than a youthful polar bear in summer and pissy Wendy as the only options for a long term partner and domestic bliss. It’s very probably that the immediate and mid-term future shall involve genre surfing on xhamster, eating different variations of the same food and trying to immerse yourself in a hobby to dull the pain. When the laptop screen saver comes on and you see photos of you leaping off a bridge in New Zealand – bungee attached – without a care in the world it’s going to momentarily send you over the edge.
But the eight games perversely leave some of this in our own fate. Away games to Chelsea, Arsenal and this game at Spurs give us a chance of denying points to those immediately above us. A late game in the season away at the Bellend Emporium is an opportunity to fend off the challenge of Brendan and his masses to our sixth placed trophy. The problem is that we’re not exactly boss when it comes to beating top teams in their own back yard.
Stoke last time out was a strange game. Despite a weird three at the back and lack of real pressured football we managed to take a very valuable three points. The performance didn’t inspire confidence for this weekend’s games but the result and not the performances are the important matter from this point on.
Spurs will be an entirely different proposition to Stoke. They will come at us with talented players and we’ll have to have our wits about us. If we’re looking for small mercies then they just played a surprisingly tough UEFA Cup game against Basel on Thursday which hopefully stretched them out a bit. It's also advisable to contact your local GP to enquire if medical science has yet found an immunisation to Gareth Bale arse licking from the media, which you’re about to get. Or hang on, you might be spared this due to the first act of Swiss aggression in over 500 years.
Spurs are a club with a strong tradition, identity and hatred of Palestine. Joking on the last bit there Spurs fans, you rolled up copy of Sun hanging out of your back jean pockets, white van driving cockstashes.
Although similar to the black and white bells of the North East in terms of overstated importance, Spurs have actually won some shiny things in their history and spawned some really fantastic players. Sack Chelsea off, it’s Spurs and Arsenal who carry the weight around North London and always have.
Spurs fans are a hotpot of poor stereoptypes from that there London. It’s like the whole of North London is hooked on cocaine water which flows from their taps in that everybody’s talking but no one is listening. Expect “lively banter” from small eyed obese locals who aspire to have one of the Krays on speed dial. Tottenham Court Road f*cking stinks, which always makes the attempted Liverpool slums insinuation more amusing. You’d find more hospitality and culture in heavily bombarded Syrian suburb than you’ll find around the Seven Sisters station. Facking hell san. Do one you jarg jeaned Bow Bell reject, yer mar’s from Watford.
History however litters Spurs teams with talented players and pretty football which have mostly fell short. So it’s interesting to watch their rise of the current past few years as they’re backed well – which is unfortunately a prerequisite in successful modern football – and have a very decent squad of players. There’s only a couple of players missing from them being sort of on a par with the likes of United.
Their red bearded Moutiniho wannabe manager has done a good job in his first season. He still screams a little bit too much future Yewtree for some but he’s got them consistently producing results.
Up front is where some problems have lied for when Gareth Bale’s unicorn kissed boots don’t deliver a goal of the month contender then the sh*t Kanu Adebayor hasn’t really fired and Defoe only in spurts. The little vipor toothed tit is injured for the weekend’s game thankfully.
As usual a couple of big summer signings haven’t really delivered. Dempsey has scored some goals but looked a little out of sorts having serious competition in a squad. You could you probably angle the same criticism against Pienaar if were being fair. Same for Sigurdsson who’s not had the same shooting boots as he had for Swansea.
One player who has been a success and is still to some degree underrated in the league is their token Belgian Dembele. A really top drawer player. He’s the type that if he’s on song can make the clock tick very slowly indeed for us. Scott Parker, the odious cockney faced pipe, adds the discipline and steel to a talented midfield with genuine pace down the flanks with probably Holtby and Lennon.
Defence has been improved by Vertonghen who has the exact face of a continental youth resistance fighter in WWII that you’d see in a tatty history book. He’s sometimes better coming forward than what he is at defending so we’ll be hoping for one of them days. Dawson completes the central defence with he who snubbed us Naughton and Assou-Ekoto as full backs with the latter wanting everyone to look at his hair, with which he supposedly demonstrates his individuality with a succession of really sh*te hair styles. Has there ever been a more French looking person than Hugo Lloris? Non? We’ll he’ll more likely be in goal and is more than decent.
We’ve still got the shadow of a Fellaini and Pienaar-less team hanging over us. The three centre backs was bold from Moyes and to some extent it worked. As you would expect though with a new system it did leave some holes which you would expect Spurs to happily punish. Maybe another week working on the training ground with it might dismiss the ghosts of Walter Smith from it? We’ll see.
The Anichebe and Jelavic up front thing didn’t really work and if you had to pick one of the two to carry the burden of up front alone then you’d probably go for Anichebe at this present time. I’d guess we’ll sacrifice one of them for an extra midfielder and who that’ll be is anyone’s guess. I’m getting the scent of Phil for this one though rather than Ross.
Boss that from Mirallas. One of them handsome winning goals that you’ll never forget. He’ll have a huge role to play determining our success in the remainder of the season. Osman and Gibson will remain which means we’ll probably stick with the three at the back as there’s not whole load of options at the moment.
The back three all have a little bit of something different so it will be interesting to see if it can work and if indeed it will be considered in future use. Probably not but when you’re against it then it could have its virtues and we should be against it this match. There were tuts and groans as Mucha was harshly dropped to shoe horn Howard in goal but that disdain lasted three minutes until Howard made a boss save. So like most things at Everton we can turn a blind eye to some crap things if were winning. Welcome back Tim.
There’s two ways we can handle this game. Be timid and turn up hoping for a tired Spurs off day or slap ourselves in the face in the changes before the game and get the [Poor language removed] into them from that first whistle.
Do just that and then we might start getting arsed about continental travel this autumn. What’s our name?
You see in the past week the media have been pressing the manager and players of this once ace club on what their goals are for the rest of the season. Moyes has sought to play down all expectation throughout the season but we’re into the final furlong now and we’re still in the mix.
Unfortunately there’s the usual conspiring of events which has reduced the usual plentiful European spots giving us the real anxiety of finishing with nothing to show for a pretty productive season.
It's in a way like when you’ve been having a boss time in your twenties, tripping the light fantastic. Suddenly you starting contemplating fiscal mortality and the end game on which you realise that all your mates you’ve been mocking for being pinned down by birds, mortgages and kids have played a good game as there’s a scarcity of nine-out-of-ten-girls left. You’ve got psycho Jane from accounts who sends disturbing flirty text messages, the old squeeze on Facebook who’s gaining more weight than a youthful polar bear in summer and pissy Wendy as the only options for a long term partner and domestic bliss. It’s very probably that the immediate and mid-term future shall involve genre surfing on xhamster, eating different variations of the same food and trying to immerse yourself in a hobby to dull the pain. When the laptop screen saver comes on and you see photos of you leaping off a bridge in New Zealand – bungee attached – without a care in the world it’s going to momentarily send you over the edge.
But the eight games perversely leave some of this in our own fate. Away games to Chelsea, Arsenal and this game at Spurs give us a chance of denying points to those immediately above us. A late game in the season away at the Bellend Emporium is an opportunity to fend off the challenge of Brendan and his masses to our sixth placed trophy. The problem is that we’re not exactly boss when it comes to beating top teams in their own back yard.
Stoke last time out was a strange game. Despite a weird three at the back and lack of real pressured football we managed to take a very valuable three points. The performance didn’t inspire confidence for this weekend’s games but the result and not the performances are the important matter from this point on.
Spurs will be an entirely different proposition to Stoke. They will come at us with talented players and we’ll have to have our wits about us. If we’re looking for small mercies then they just played a surprisingly tough UEFA Cup game against Basel on Thursday which hopefully stretched them out a bit. It's also advisable to contact your local GP to enquire if medical science has yet found an immunisation to Gareth Bale arse licking from the media, which you’re about to get. Or hang on, you might be spared this due to the first act of Swiss aggression in over 500 years.
Spurs are a club with a strong tradition, identity and hatred of Palestine. Joking on the last bit there Spurs fans, you rolled up copy of Sun hanging out of your back jean pockets, white van driving cockstashes.
Although similar to the black and white bells of the North East in terms of overstated importance, Spurs have actually won some shiny things in their history and spawned some really fantastic players. Sack Chelsea off, it’s Spurs and Arsenal who carry the weight around North London and always have.
Spurs fans are a hotpot of poor stereoptypes from that there London. It’s like the whole of North London is hooked on cocaine water which flows from their taps in that everybody’s talking but no one is listening. Expect “lively banter” from small eyed obese locals who aspire to have one of the Krays on speed dial. Tottenham Court Road f*cking stinks, which always makes the attempted Liverpool slums insinuation more amusing. You’d find more hospitality and culture in heavily bombarded Syrian suburb than you’ll find around the Seven Sisters station. Facking hell san. Do one you jarg jeaned Bow Bell reject, yer mar’s from Watford.
History however litters Spurs teams with talented players and pretty football which have mostly fell short. So it’s interesting to watch their rise of the current past few years as they’re backed well – which is unfortunately a prerequisite in successful modern football – and have a very decent squad of players. There’s only a couple of players missing from them being sort of on a par with the likes of United.
Their red bearded Moutiniho wannabe manager has done a good job in his first season. He still screams a little bit too much future Yewtree for some but he’s got them consistently producing results.
Up front is where some problems have lied for when Gareth Bale’s unicorn kissed boots don’t deliver a goal of the month contender then the sh*t Kanu Adebayor hasn’t really fired and Defoe only in spurts. The little vipor toothed tit is injured for the weekend’s game thankfully.
As usual a couple of big summer signings haven’t really delivered. Dempsey has scored some goals but looked a little out of sorts having serious competition in a squad. You could you probably angle the same criticism against Pienaar if were being fair. Same for Sigurdsson who’s not had the same shooting boots as he had for Swansea.
One player who has been a success and is still to some degree underrated in the league is their token Belgian Dembele. A really top drawer player. He’s the type that if he’s on song can make the clock tick very slowly indeed for us. Scott Parker, the odious cockney faced pipe, adds the discipline and steel to a talented midfield with genuine pace down the flanks with probably Holtby and Lennon.
Defence has been improved by Vertonghen who has the exact face of a continental youth resistance fighter in WWII that you’d see in a tatty history book. He’s sometimes better coming forward than what he is at defending so we’ll be hoping for one of them days. Dawson completes the central defence with he who snubbed us Naughton and Assou-Ekoto as full backs with the latter wanting everyone to look at his hair, with which he supposedly demonstrates his individuality with a succession of really sh*te hair styles. Has there ever been a more French looking person than Hugo Lloris? Non? We’ll he’ll more likely be in goal and is more than decent.
We’ve still got the shadow of a Fellaini and Pienaar-less team hanging over us. The three centre backs was bold from Moyes and to some extent it worked. As you would expect though with a new system it did leave some holes which you would expect Spurs to happily punish. Maybe another week working on the training ground with it might dismiss the ghosts of Walter Smith from it? We’ll see.
The Anichebe and Jelavic up front thing didn’t really work and if you had to pick one of the two to carry the burden of up front alone then you’d probably go for Anichebe at this present time. I’d guess we’ll sacrifice one of them for an extra midfielder and who that’ll be is anyone’s guess. I’m getting the scent of Phil for this one though rather than Ross.
Boss that from Mirallas. One of them handsome winning goals that you’ll never forget. He’ll have a huge role to play determining our success in the remainder of the season. Osman and Gibson will remain which means we’ll probably stick with the three at the back as there’s not whole load of options at the moment.
The back three all have a little bit of something different so it will be interesting to see if it can work and if indeed it will be considered in future use. Probably not but when you’re against it then it could have its virtues and we should be against it this match. There were tuts and groans as Mucha was harshly dropped to shoe horn Howard in goal but that disdain lasted three minutes until Howard made a boss save. So like most things at Everton we can turn a blind eye to some crap things if were winning. Welcome back Tim.
There’s two ways we can handle this game. Be timid and turn up hoping for a tired Spurs off day or slap ourselves in the face in the changes before the game and get the [Poor language removed] into them from that first whistle.
Do just that and then we might start getting arsed about continental travel this autumn. What’s our name?
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