I’ll get the party started,
I went to play golf at McDonald Portal, I’d not been well for a few months with a few different issues. Me and a mate were playing a couple of Dr’s we know and on the day I felt great.
We turned up an hour early to stretch out and hit the putting green only for me to end up having to go the toilet for basically a full hour before tee off. I made our tee time and stood on the first tee like the colour of boiled [Poor language removed]. I thought the worst was behind me.
3 holes in I knew I was in trouble and between the 3rd and 4th hole I have to go into bushes to have another poo. Luckily I had some kitchen roll in my golf bag. I thought the worst was behind me. On the 10th tee box you go past the club house again, unfortunately I didn’t make it and over the next 6 holes had another 5 poos in bushes. I ended up having to use my golf towel and my bills to wipe my arse.
I came off the course at the 10th and as the clubhouse was closing had to make a break for the championship course that had a hotel. I spent the next hour pushing the world out of my backside and the next 3/4 days recovering from severe dehydration.
From it I’ve learned that long term use of really strong pain killers will catch up with you and always carry a roll of toilet paper in your golf bag with some Imodium.
Who’s next?
