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I'd blame it on hard drugs, but in his earlier interviews, he'd say he didn't even drink alcohol. Reckon we've converted him?

He has a bit of the Faustino Asprilla thing going on with his legs. If he doesn't know what they're doing, God help the sod defending against him..

They're finding it tough enough to play on turf.

That's the view from one of the more modern goal ends.

I'd sooner they'd spend the money developing the Oval in East Belfast. At least that'd be left to a proper association football club.

Wasn't that what Casement Park was for?

Why'd we get him in then? He's nowhere near the other lad we actually bought in terms of alertness or ability.

Made me laugh on his Glastonbury headline, the BBC called him Jay-zed on the voiceover. Willingly unhip.

I'd have made a better go of it than Keane and I'm a bit of a crip with a dodgy hip, about three inches shorter and a fair bit podgier than I actually should be. I'm also a non-professional footballer and not on 80 grand a week..

I read that post and now I can't get Hothouse Flowers out of my flupping head. 🫣

Watching Everton nowadays is like jury duty. You don't really want to, but are kinda compelled to. ...Actually, if you don't go through with jury duty, a stint in prison means you don't watch this shabite.

Lack of home disadvantage?

Pretty much the same as Goodison now. My regular seat in the 3rd row of the Paddock, you struggle to see the dugout unless standing. I'm 5',10¾ btw. I look about 5'6" leaving the ground as my head is usually in my hands.

Going off the 'Wooo's in Spirit of the Blues, it could upset the local dogs.

Angry Birds

Keep us updated on his tweets though. Game for a laugh.

I thought you were compensating for the tall lads standing up.

Manny Fernandes was off to Goodison complete with the obligatory shirt & scarf pics. Never say never until the contract is signed. Besides, what has Naples got that we haven't? 🤔

Straight swap with Lukaku will do.

With those odds, and this squad, I'd politely suggest you leave him at home for the duration of this season.