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It sadly is what I do best and probably why I spend half my time banned.

Do you reckon Rom has ever suffered?

Backwater indeed, as in the water that comes out your back passage when you have gastroenteritis.

I'll ask her how she voted on Sunday.

Don't blame me, blame the ex wife.

There's more chance of finding the sea there.

Terminate his contract the ungrateful oaf.

People who are calling for him to be dropped need to swerve it.

It's alright lads we're getting Rooney back.

Argument void.

We are absolutely no closer to starting it than we were this time last year. He's been here a year Moshiri and as I said earlier, nothing drastic has changed.

Wrapped up in a hat and scarf! Like Rom will be when he's playing against Shaktar Donetsk next season for Chelsea.

It's a lovely day. I'm gonna have my lunch at the back of the town hall.

Did you get to town alright lid?

I think he guessed that this seasons home kit would be blue.

Panic over everyone.

It'll be interesting to see if we spend before or after he's sold. Heaven forbid Moshiri has to spend his own money, or the Sky money, which suspiciously vanished this season.

It's true though. Billionaire Faz spouting his mouth off to Jim White, pretending we're going places. Well that isn't totally true, we did get the most tediously boring day on SSN out of it so I suppose that makes up for all our best players wanting out.

Let's not take away that you all thought he'd stay because the almighty Moshiri (who's only notable improvements thus far are to slap a bit of shoddy cladding and illustrated tarpaulin up on the ground and also take our debt off the banks to fill his future pockets) had convinced his agent we...