Anyone having a worse day than me?

[chrismpw]

A thread for those of us wishing to offload (in my case, literally).

In sure some of you are, for whatever serious reason - but this is my day today:

Tomorrow morning I'm having a routine procedure - an examination - because of family history. Since Saturday I've nit been allowed ANY of my favourite foods. All I've been allowed to eat is beige.

Today at 10 am I ate the last food I'm permitted for 24 hours. At 6pm I have to start drinking a litre of cold wallpaper paste. I will be shitting regularly - the leaflet promises 12-15 toilet visits.

At 5am, amidst broken-toilet-visit-sleep, no doubt, I have to down another litre of slush before more explosive visits to the bog.

At 9am tomorrow I get a camera shoved up my arse and get inflated like a very unhappy balloon. I'm hoping the camera crew is tiny and that there us no need for a sound crew.

In the midst of all this , in case it wasnt bad enough, there's a Derby game.

Cheer me up, for pity's sake.

 

[Prevenger17]

I blame women, Chris.


But seriously, hope you're alright mate, my day certainly isn't coming anywhere near that

 

[Buckers]

Mate I’ve had that procedure, you are underestimating the impact of that filth they are making you drink. It’s remarkable, drinking it is a form of torture but by god it’s effective. It will be like niagra coming out of your ass. If it didn’t taste so bad I’d do it once a month for colonic irrigation.

 

[Buckers]

Sorry just read we needed to cheer you up.

Erm.

 

[tommye]

A thread for those of us wishing to offload (in my case, literally).

In sure some of you are, for whatever serious reason - but this is my day today:

Tomorrow morning I'm having a routine procedure - an examination - because of family history. Since Saturday I've nit been allowed ANY of my favourite foods. All I've been allowed to eat is beige.

Today at 10 am I ate the last food I'm permitted for 24 hours. At 6pm I have to start drinking a litre of cold wallpaper paste. I will be shitting regularly - the leaflet promises 12-15 toilet visits.

At 5am, amidst broken-toilet-visit-sleep, no doubt, I have to down another litre of slush before more explosive visits to the bog.

At 9am tomorrow I get a camera shoved up my arse and get inflated like a very unhappy balloon. I'm hoping the camera crew is tiny and that there us no need for a sound crew.

In the midst of all this , in case it wasnt bad enough, there's a Derby game.

Cheer me up, for pity's sake.

Any chance of a live stream?

Hope all is well mate.
You still be ok for a bumming at the weekend?

 

[Dixieslaces]

Wishing you all the best mate, that stuff is vile and can be quite instantaneous which came as a bit of shock to me!!

Hope it all goes well mate and sting ring settles down too.

Good luck.

*oh and UTFT

**head over to the Post Funny Stuff thread, always helps me out.

 

[Blue 1]

No.

 

[Dixieslaces]

Any chance of a live stream?

Hope all is well mate.
You still be ok for a bumming at the weekend?

Kin ell

 

[YoboCopter]

Any chance of a live stream?

Hope all is well mate.
You still be ok for a bumming at the weekend?

Be more enjoyable than the derby wont it

The live stream and the bumming

 

[Brett Angell Delight]

FWIW I just had to read a thread about some auld curmudgeon forecasting 24hr of explosive diarrhoea before getting a camera up his jacksie.






Nah, but I hope it all goes well mate.

 

[cronullasharks]

That drink is horrific, due for it again early next year.

I had a skin cancer chopped off from behind my ear yesterday, got a few stitches in and feel like I've been punched in the side of the head.

 

[JimmyJeffers]

A thread for those of us wishing to offload (in my case, literally).

In sure some of you are, for whatever serious reason - but this is my day today:

Tomorrow morning I'm having a routine procedure - an examination - because of family history. Since Saturday I've nit been allowed ANY of my favourite foods. All I've been allowed to eat is beige.

Today at 10 am I ate the last food I'm permitted for 24 hours. At 6pm I have to start drinking a litre of cold wallpaper paste. I will be shitting regularly - the leaflet promises 12-15 toilet visits.

At 5am, amidst broken-toilet-visit-sleep, no doubt, I have to down another litre of slush before more explosive visits to the bog.

At 9am tomorrow I get a camera shoved up my arse and get inflated like a very unhappy balloon. I'm hoping the camera crew is tiny and that there us no need for a sound crew.

In the midst of all this , in case it wasnt bad enough, there's a Derby game.

Cheer me up, for pity's sake.

Feeling pretty good today. Mrs went out last night meaning that I am a hero and also have a banked free night out some time.
Sitting at home pretending to work. Will not watch any football later to ruin things.

 

[Dixieslaces]

 

[trueblue84]

A thread for those of us wishing to offload (in my case, literally).

In sure some of you are, for whatever serious reason - but this is my day today:

Tomorrow morning I'm having a routine procedure - an examination - because of family history. Since Saturday I've nit been allowed ANY of my favourite foods. All I've been allowed to eat is beige.

Today at 10 am I ate the last food I'm permitted for 24 hours. At 6pm I have to start drinking a litre of cold wallpaper paste. I will be shitting regularly - the leaflet promises 12-15 toilet visits.

At 5am, amidst broken-toilet-visit-sleep, no doubt, I have to down another litre of slush before more explosive visits to the bog.

At 9am tomorrow I get a camera shoved up my arse and get inflated like a very unhappy balloon. I'm hoping the camera crew is tiny and that there us no need for a sound crew.

In the midst of all this , in case it wasnt bad enough, there's a Derby game.

Cheer me up, for pity's sake.

Have you seen the camera they're using?



Cheer up, though. He may tickle your balls as he inserts it.

 

[Dixieslaces]

That drink is horrific, due for it again early next year.

I had a skin cancer chopped off from behind my ear yesterday, got a few stitches in and feel like I've been punched in the side of the head.

Hope for a quick recovery mate.

Seems to be a few of us going through the ringer.