It was a windy, rain soaked Tuesday afternoon, when Bill suddenly receives a text message. Bill recoils in shock as he reads that Bury Football Club are in danger of being liquidated.
Bill becomes agitated, his heart starts pounding as he paces up and down his drawing room. How could this be? How could Bury Football Club be on the brink of its annihilation? Bill was hyperventilating when he suddenly came to a halt, and thought no, this simply cannot be allowed to happen.
Bill runs out of his drawing room and into his kitchen, where his beloved Jenny is doing the dishes. "Jenny, Jenny, Bury Football Club are in danger of going under", shouts Bill.
Jenny drops her plate and it smashes on the kitchen floor. "What are you going to do about it?" asks Jenny. "There's only one thing for it" Bill declared, "I must get to Bury, and give them a million pound for free". Jenny smiled and went to kiss Bill, but Bill had already turned around, and was now sprinting past the drawing room, past the billiards room, through the ballroom, and into the grand foyer, where he ordered an Uber from London to Bury.
Once in the cab, he telephoned Bury's administrators. "Look, it's Bill Kenwright here. I'm on my way up to give you a million pound for free to save the day and ensure that Bury Football Club can survive for evermore without any financial problems".
"We need the money by 6pm this evening", Bill was told. Bill glanced at his watch. It was 2pm. Could he make it? It would be a close call. "I'll be there for six, just don't let Bury go under", said Bill.
Bill was pleased as the cab had reached Manchester by 5pm. He was going to do it. He would be able to save Bury Football Club and hand over a million pound free of charge. But then the cab started slowing down, and then it grounded to a halt. "What's happening here?" Bill asked. "Rush hour", said the cab driver.
Bill didn't know what to do, and started sweating profusely. An intrusive thought flashed into his mind. It was the thought of a world where Bury FC no longer existed, "Nooooo" screamed Kenwright, smashing his fist against the cab window in a state of unbridled anger.
Bill jumps out of the cab and starts running in the direction of Bury. He saw a young girl on the sidewalk riding a bike. This was his chance. Bill ran over to the girl, and pushes her off her pink My Little Pony bike. "Sorry love, have this instead" said Bill, as he pulls out a wad of £50 pound notes and throws it over to the little girl. "Gee, thanks mister" said the girl.
Bill cycles through the wind and the rain, and almost gets run over twice before Bill and his bike skids into Gigg Lane. He glances at his watch, it's 17:55, there's still time to save Bury Football Club.
Bill knocks on the door but there is no answer. He bangs and bangs again but there is no response. The rain pours down as Bill rests his head against the old blue door. Was he too late?
But then he hears someone crying, he turns around and sees an old lady sitting on the ground in the pouring rain. Bill runs over and asks what's the matter? "I've just lost my job as the tea lady" she explains. I've been here for 45 years, I took over the job from my dear old mother, and she had followed my dear old grandmother, who had been the tea lady since 1885" said the old lady.
Bill's body was overtaken with adrenalin. He would not allow this to happen. He turns to the old lady and says "Look, I'm Bill Kenwright, I'm a famous benevolent millionaire and I'm going to make everything alright. I just need to get to the directors office. Can you help me? "
"Yes, yes I can, I've got keys. Quick, follow me", says the old lady. Bill follows the old lady as she gains access to the main stand and they run up to the directors office, where the administrator was leaning back on a chair smoking a cigar.
"Wait, wait" shouted Kenwright as he burst into the directors office and explained that he was willing to write a check for a million pound free of charge to save Bury Football Club. The administrator looked at his watch, it was 17:58, you've got two minutes he said.
Bill gets out his cheque book and is about to sign over a million pound, when suddenly the ink ran out of his biro mid-signature. "Christ, doesn't anyone else have a pen?" Bill shouted in desperation. The old tea lady checked her pockets "Here you go mister, this is the pen my grandmother got when she first joined the club back in 1885", said the old lady.
Bill grabbed the old pen and completed his signature. He had handed it over with just 5 seconds remaining. "There you go!" Bill exclaimed in jubilation. "You can have a million pound free of charge". Then the phone rang. It was the FA calling the administrator.
The administrator told the FA what had just happened but something wasn't right. The phone call ended, and Bill was told that the FA would not allow him to make his donation. Bill fell to the floor in crestfallen despair and started to cry.
How could the FA be so heartless? Why on earth would they not allow Bill the right to hand over a million pound free of charge. Since when was that a rule? I was certainly never aware of it thought Bill, as he and the tea lady left Gigg Lane in their dejected state. "Never mind love, you did more than anyone else. I didn't see Liverpool or Man United offering any help", said the old lady, as she kissed him on the cheek as Bill got into a taxi on his way back to London.
Bill couldn't stop crying on his way home in the taxi. The taxi driver asked him what was wrong, so Bill explained what had just happened, and how he could not believe that we were now living in a world where Bury Football Club no longer existed.
The cabbie felt Bill's despair, but then made the most heartwarming suggestion of all. He said, "Bill, why don't you take that million pound that you were going to give Bury free of charge, and give it to Alder Hey Hospital instead?". Bill stopped crying and a warm smile came over his face, as he said "Do you know what, you are right, turn the cab around and take me to Alder Hey". Bill then visited Alder Hey and handed over a million pound free of charge.
