Christmas gift obligations

[summerisle]

Years ago I rid myself of the interminable cycle of giving and receiving gifts to friends and family, with strategic conversations designed to cease the escalation. Christmas has been so much better for it. I no longer stress about having to find and wrap something the receiver inevitably probably doesn’t want or need and furthermore I don't impose upon them the obligation to find and give me something I don't want or need.

Let's face it, I'm an adult, I can buy the things I want and need. Christmas is for kids- who can't.

Then I accidentally drifted into a relationship. Enter the missus who goes over the top with everyone. She has a group of friends that I've been dragged into who now insist on giving each other multiple gifts and a few years ago they had the idea of home made gifts. While it was a good idea at first - It has become a monster taking months of preparation and unsurprisingly, costing a fortune. Now I'm not exactly a grinch, like you'd expect. They show skill and care in what they make, but nothing, nothing that they make is anything I want. Whats worse now the wife is stressy because components she needs are late in the post and she wants ME to spend hours driving around like a miserable bad tempered santa, burning fuel and damaging the environment needlessly delivering the piles of unwanted tat to households, in the middle of a pandemic. Shes already had a hissy fit like an 8 year old girl not getting her way because I said I'm not happy doing that. She'll be in s mood until she gets her way now - standard female coersive strategy that people seem to accept.

What's worse they're planning to do a zoom call where they all open the presents together. They're well into their 50s and 60s ffs!

Fecking hate Christmas because of how material people make it.

Solutions please....

Have already considered presenting bags of sawdust so no ta.

Next year suggest coat hangers, tinsel and sticky back plastic.

 

[Papa Shango]

I have tried for years now to replace the stupidity of buying Christmas presents for non immediate family members with a secret santa system.

Instead of me having to spend say 200 quid on 5 presents for people I know little about whilst raging at the queues etc for presents that nobody wants anyway why not pick a person each and spend 100 quid or whatever on them? Costs less, less stress and everyone gets something they want.

 

[PhilM]

As siblings and with my mum and dad, we simply put £50 in each and everyone gets one present of their choice with no obligation to open on Christmas day.

It works perfectly well as you get what you want and there's less hassle buying multiple gifts.

 

[COYBL25]

Years ago I rid myself of the interminable cycle of giving and receiving gifts to friends and family, with strategic conversations designed to cease the escalation. Christmas has been so much better for it. I no longer stress about having to find and wrap something the receiver inevitably probably doesn’t want or need and furthermore I don't impose upon them the obligation to find and give me something I don't want or need.

Let's face it, I'm an adult, I can buy the things I want and need. Christmas is for kids- who can't.

Then I accidentally drifted into a relationship. Enter the missus who goes over the top with everyone. She has a group of friends that I've been dragged into who now insist on giving each other multiple gifts and a few years ago they had the idea of home made gifts. While it was a good idea at first - It has become a monster taking months of preparation and unsurprisingly, costing a fortune. Now I'm not exactly a grinch, like you'd expect. They show skill and care in what they make, but nothing, nothing that they make is anything I want. Whats worse now the wife is stressy because components she needs are late in the post and she wants ME to spend hours driving around like a miserable bad tempered santa, burning fuel and damaging the environment needlessly delivering the piles of unwanted tat to households, in the middle of a pandemic. Shes already had a hissy fit like an 8 year old girl not getting her way because I said I'm not happy doing that. She'll be in s mood until she gets her way now - standard female coersive strategy that people seem to accept.

What's worse they're planning to do a zoom call where they all open the presents together. They're well into their 50s and 60s ffs!

Fecking hate Christmas because of how material people make it.

Solutions please....

Have already considered presenting bags of sawdust so no ta.

I feel your pain mate.

A Christmas present to me is a book or a CD that I really like ( showing my age ) or if someone really wants to push the boat out, a new pair of running shoes.

I really don`t get the fact that the quality of the present is gauged by the cost, even if it`s something completely soulless and completely unrepresentative of you as a person.

I`d quite happily rent out an cottage on isolated moor somewhere from Christmas Eve to New Years Day and just avoid the whole thing.

 

[chrissyjack]

I stopped giving money to nieces and nephews years ago . My grandson gets something , usually a PS4 game , and my sisters grandkids get money . As do my own grown-up kids .

 

[Daveysgingerlovechild]

Years ago I rid myself of the interminable cycle of giving and receiving gifts to friends and family, with strategic conversations designed to cease the escalation. Christmas has been so much better for it. I no longer stress about having to find and wrap something the receiver inevitably probably doesn’t want or need and furthermore I don't impose upon them the obligation to find and give me something I don't want or need.

Let's face it, I'm an adult, I can buy the things I want and need. Christmas is for kids- who can't.

Then I accidentally drifted into a relationship. Enter the missus who goes over the top with everyone. She has a group of friends that I've been dragged into who now insist on giving each other multiple gifts and a few years ago they had the idea of home made gifts. While it was a good idea at first - It has become a monster taking months of preparation and unsurprisingly, costing a fortune. Now I'm not exactly a grinch, like you'd expect. They show skill and care in what they make, but nothing, nothing that they make is anything I want. Whats worse now the wife is stressy because components she needs are late in the post and she wants ME to spend hours driving around like a miserable bad tempered santa, burning fuel and damaging the environment needlessly delivering the piles of unwanted tat to households, in the middle of a pandemic. Shes already had a hissy fit like an 8 year old girl not getting her way because I said I'm not happy doing that. She'll be in s mood until she gets her way now - standard female coersive strategy that people seem to accept.

What's worse they're planning to do a zoom call where they all open the presents together. They're well into their 50s and 60s ffs!

Fecking hate Christmas because of how material people make it.

Solutions please....

Have already considered presenting bags of sawdust so no ta.

The ghost of Christmas future, right here.

 

[Daveysgingerlovechild]

I get my mom and fiancé something. My mom needed a new fridge freezer this year so we got her a replacement. I brought the missus a new pair of walking boots, which she loves (couldn't wait until xmas).

Soo romantic, me.

 

[The Penalty Box Dancer]

A girl I'm talking to has spent over 2.5k on her kids and was conscious of what people thought but I told her that's their problem, not yours. She's worked hard in life and has the right to spend what she chooses. I don't understand why people would have a problem with it when she has grafted in life to put herself in a fortunate position.

 

[Daveysgingerlovechild]

A girl I'm talking to has spent over 2.5k on her kids and was conscious of what people thought but I told her that's their problem, not yours. She's worked hard in life and has the right to spend what she chooses. I don't understand why people would have a problem with it when she has grafted in life to put herself in a fortunate position.

That's a fair point. I have more problem when folk expect reciprocoty or judge those for not doing so, particularly if they just don't have the means.

 

[degsy]

Then I accidentally drifted into a relationship.

If these 2 weeks out weight the other 50....
Accidently drift out?

 

[The Penalty Box Dancer]

That's a fair point. I have more problem when folk expect reciprocoty or judge those for not doing so, particularly if they just don't have the means.

Exactly the problem is when someone expects the equivalent and feels the pressure of doing so. I had an ex who would come up with a figure of what we should spend and she would be checking I fully reciprocated

 

[Bungle]

Years ago I rid myself of the interminable cycle of giving and receiving gifts to friends and family, with strategic conversations designed to cease the escalation. Christmas has been so much better for it. I no longer stress about having to find and wrap something the receiver inevitably probably doesn’t want or need and furthermore I don't impose upon them the obligation to find and give me something I don't want or need.

Let's face it, I'm an adult, I can buy the things I want and need. Christmas is for kids- who can't.

Then I accidentally drifted into a relationship. Enter the missus who goes over the top with everyone. She has a group of friends that I've been dragged into who now insist on giving each other multiple gifts and a few years ago they had the idea of home made gifts. While it was a good idea at first - It has become a monster taking months of preparation and unsurprisingly, costing a fortune. Now I'm not exactly a grinch, like you'd expect. They show skill and care in what they make, but nothing, nothing that they make is anything I want. Whats worse now the wife is stressy because components she needs are late in the post and she wants ME to spend hours driving around like a miserable bad tempered santa, burning fuel and damaging the environment needlessly delivering the piles of unwanted tat to households, in the middle of a pandemic. Shes already had a hissy fit like an 8 year old girl not getting her way because I said I'm not happy doing that. She'll be in s mood until she gets her way now - standard female coersive strategy that people seem to accept.

What's worse they're planning to do a zoom call where they all open the presents together. They're well into their 50s and 60s ffs!

Fecking hate Christmas because of how material people make it.

Solutions please....

Have already considered presenting bags of sawdust so no ta.

Join the zoom call and proceed to slaughter your mrs live on camera and make sure you use each of their gifts to inflict some of the damage, whistle jingle bells as you stroll out the front door and into handcuffs.

 

[royalblue66]

A mate was a light house keeper, someone gave him a corner unit for Xmas

 

[chrismpw]

Join the zoom call and proceed to slaughter your mrs live on camera and make sure you use each of their gifts to inflict some of the damage, whistle jingle bells as you stroll out the front door and into handcuffs.

Most detailed and practical advice yet.

 

[Bungle]

Most detailed and practical advice yet.

In hindsight it might be best for all if you just left her.