Could you take out a Crocodile in an office environment armed only with a cricket bat.

[Dithering Dougie]

I'd whack the air conditioning right up so he starts to feel cold and sluggish then jump on the filing cabinet and start firing staples at it just to piss it off knowing its losing strength by the minute. Once it shut it's eyes and falls asleep I'd climb down and a write some rude things on it in permanent marker about how it looks like my boss then get it by the tail and drag it into his office and turn the air con off.

 

[Kurt.]

I'd turn the bat around and use it like a snooker cue, I'd pop the handle right in the crocs eyes one by one then I'd thrw one of Val's ( val is our admin lady ) homemade cakes in his gob which will cruelly snap his teeth one by one before he eventually swallowed it and it settled like a two tonne weight in his stomach, after that, when he's blind and incapacitated by cake I'd get a Billy the one armed caretaker to drag it into the carpark by its tail and let it wander onto the nearby dual carriageway. Score 1 for the good guy Kurt xxx

 

[The Esk]

Remove jacket.
Turn desk on side with legs pointing toward you.
Using desk as a shield back crocodile into corner.
Use jacket as blindfold, throw over crocodile head.
Use tape, electric cable etc to bind crocodile mouth.
Email customers apologising for delay in returning their emails.

 

[Elong]

Head to The Winslow and wait for it all to blow over.

 

[roydo]

I know I would wish I had taken more notice of a quite idiotic thread, (even by GOT standards), in the Ale House I once saw.

Then I would ring The Esk

 

[Kurt.]

Or..... I'd run to the pond across the road, round up the local wildlife into a big sack, return to the office, show him the cricket bat, let the sack open, let the wildlife go free..... And get the croc out for a duck !!

 

[formerly manx toffee]

I took out someone for wearing crocs at work on Friday....didn't even bother with the cricket bat.

 

[Adam_EFC]

I'd run over and go to lay into it's face and then it'd probably grab the bottom half of me leg and start doing them death rolls and have me off.

 

[arch stanton]

The office is 15m squared. You're armed only with a Viv Richards signature solid oak cricket bat and any office supplies that happen to be lying about. You're both locked in, there is no getting out. There can be only one winner.

Can you take him out and if so how do you go about doing it ? You have the manoeuvrability advantage in such an environment (jump on desks etc) but is this enough to be the victor ?

Discuss

An oak cricket bat?? Ffs, willow man, willow. I'm starting to doubt the accuracy of the rest of your story now

 

[Kurt.]

I'd phone the canteen up and tell them to get to my office and make me a crocodile sandwich........ And they better make it snappy !!

 

[Tramps_mate]

The office is 15m squared. You're armed only with a Viv Richards signature solid oak cricket bat and any office supplies that happen to be lying about. You're both locked in, there is no getting out. There can be only one winner.

Can you take him out and if so how do you go about doing it ? You have the manoeuvrability advantage in such an environment (jump on desks etc) but is this enough to be the victor ?

Discuss

Easy do it. I'm pyar strong...

 

[McBain]

You'd call the nearest Aussie to get you out of that pickle and buy him a full strength beer afterwards.

 

[Hellerad]

Remind me not to attack @the esk in an office environment.

 

[Prevenger17]

Remind me not to attack @the esk in an office environment.

Aye, roving crocodiles and his biggest concern is tardy e-mails.

 

[toffeejack]

i'd play a lovely forward defensive. stand back up, swivel the bat a few times in my arms like viv himself and then settle back into position for the next ball