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Cringeworthy Moments.

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MikelsGoat said:
Mine would be many, many years ago when i lived at home, my girlfriend came round and we took to the bedroom to "talk".

So there i am going for it like a rabbit and i notice this tapping on my shoulder, i turn round to see my mum with the cordless phone in hand. No words were spoken and it was never talked about, but my God i still have nightmares.
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We have a winner.
 
uknightbreed said:
i walked into tesco extra, straight up to the customer help desk.
a girl worker behind the counter had her back to me as i said " excuse me sweetheart , can you tell me where the paint brushes are ?"

to my embarresment , the girl worker turned round and as i saw her face realised 'she' was infact a 'he'.

straight away i said "oooh sorry mate , i thought you were a woman from behind, can you tell me where the paint brushes are fella ?"

"yes , there down there on the left hand side" was the workers reply. which judging by the tone and pitch of the voice immediatly made matters worse as 'he' was in fact the 'she' i originaly thought she was.

talk about putting your foot in it !:D
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Ouch:lol:
 
MikelsGoat said:
Mine would be many, many years ago when i lived at home, my girlfriend came round and we took to the bedroom to "talk".

So there i am going for it like a rabbit and i notice this tapping on my shoulder, i turn round to see my mum with the cordless phone in hand. No words were spoken and it was never talked about, but my God i still have nightmares.
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Don't call us, we'll call you:lol:
 
Last night I went to an Interview assessment for a fairly decent career.

Got talking to a girl going for the same career before and after the test. Turned out she was getting same train as me back so got the train together. "You'll have to give me your number so I can find out how you got on". Sadly, the days of giving my mobile out as freely as possible have gone so "My phones broke, I'm waiting for my new one" I said.

Literally, and I mean literally, seconds later theres a sudden burst of Z Cars - my mobile ringtone. I forgot I had turned it back on after the test.

The next 10 minutes flew by....
 
I cringe when I remember anything in my life, even things that were probably good memories.

Because I've got depression.
 

I had one quite recently but, much like NIONAENOI, my life is mainly made up of moments like this.

I had been chatting to/oggling some above average girls that worked in this new cafe i was in with a work colleague, close to work so I intended on going there every day.

On the way out (bearing in mind this guy is a nob, think Saxondale) the fit ones were outside having a smoke (it's Halifax so health and safety doesn't apply) and I'm sat in the car shaking my head as Saxondale puts Deep Purple on and rams it up on full. "This might be a bit heavy for you mate".

Then he winds the window down and rolls past these girls extra slow holding the CD case in his left hand and pointing to it with his right....

I spent the journey home dreaming up inventive ways to murder him.
 
GrandOldTeam said:
Last night I went to an Interview assessment for a fairly decent career.

Got talking to a girl going for the same career before and after the test. Turned out she was getting same train as me back so got the train together. "You'll have to give me your number so I can find out how you got on". Sadly, the days of giving my mobile out as freely as possible have gone so "My phones broke, I'm waiting for my new one" I said.

Literally, and I mean literally, seconds later theres a sudden burst of Z Cars - my mobile ringtone. I forgot I had turned it back on after the test.

The next 10 minutes flew by....
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Crying.
 
wait until you've got 3 kids to drop you right in it, constantly you have them tugging at your arm when in conversation, telling you that what you have just said is wrong and giving the correct version of events.

if i was a copper, or a barrister, i'd just call the kids.
did your daddy do it ? Did he throw that naughty cigarette out of the car window when he saw the blue lights ? was his tobacco brown or green ?
a minor misdemeanor could get you a life stretch if your kids had anything to do with it.

btw, i hope you both get taken on danny, and she becomes your boss.
 

When I was very, very young, we were camping and someone came to the side of the tent, I went to see who it was and said 'my mam won't be long she's just having a wee in the bucket'.

Needless to say she didnt leave the tent until after nightfall and I wasnt able to sit down for several days.
 
GrandOldTeam said:
C'mon, we've all had them. Memories which you literally cringe when you recall them.

One which stands out for me is....

90th minute in a high school football match. Losing 2-1. It was a nasty temper-flared game made worse by it absolutely pissing down. I dived to get a free kick just in our half (think against Anichebe actually). Everyone darts forward eagerly awaiting me to pump the ball forward for one last chance.

I look up and pick out the 6ft bean pole defender who has made his way to the edge of their 18th yard box. I stepped up with the intention of landing the ball on his head when I slipped and 'David Beckhamed' it out for a throw in.

I remember glancin to the sidelines and seeing a gang of girls all huddled up under an umbrella in hysterics as as I pulled myself up from the mud pool. I decided not to wipe the mud of my face to hopefully prevent identification from any scouts and more importantly, fit girls on the touchline. I didn't dare look anywhere other than my own half were only the goalkeeper was stood, luckily the full time whistle went seconds later and I was first in the changing rooms.
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Remember being made to play for school team in a tiny pair of shorts. Being tall made it worse, anyway, i get a chance in the box and lift my right leg back to strike. Then theirs a big ripping noise as my shorts split and my bollox fall out for everyone behind the goal to see!
 
When I was at primary school me and my mate you to skive all the time, constantly going up to the pencil sharpener, going to the toilet etc. One day got bored and agreed to skive to the toilets (Sounds a bit gay now I think about it...) any way, I got there first and I decided to pretend not to be there so I hid in a cubicle. I heard by friend come in so I was all set.

He walks along the cubicles checking each one, as he gets to mine I jump out and shout Boo!!!.

He jumped, proper scared,...

Only it was not me mate, oh no, it was the strictist teacher in School.

I could have coped with a boll*cking or headmasters office, but oh no, he takes me back to the classroom, and describes what I did. Proper humiliated.

Almost as bad as when I called the teacher Mum.
 

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