Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Dymak]

Things aren’t good. My sister’s extremely expensive new home has been rendered uninhabitable, which has effectively left my big sister and her three children homeless just before Christmas.

They are going to spend it with my auntie in Aberdeen, so that should be alright from a Christmas standpoint, but then they will need to find alternative housing in the private rented sector shortly afterwards.

It’s very cruel on my sister, she’s left her old house and put a 60k deposit down on this shithouse, 30k of which came from me. So I have also been stressed about it, and I have blamed her for not doing due diligence on this house.

This has coincided with me being put on new medication for my chronic abject back pain. Ive been taking pregabalin and tapentadol. It’s difficult to know how effective these new meds have been? I have had a couple of pain free episodes (an hour here or there) which feels great, but it has been fleeting and my suicidal ideation has gone through the roof.

It’s difficult to know whether the increase in suicidal ideation has come from the stress associated with the failed house move, and the fact that I’ll now be alone at Christmas, or whether the pregabalin is exacerbating my depression. Pregabalin is known to do this in some people.

I don’t think I’m gona take anymore pregabalin. I’m gona go back to tramadol. It’s far from perfect, and certainly doesn’t eradicate the pain, but this pregabalin stuff just does not feel right.

 

[Earwigjoe]

Things aren’t good. My sister’s extremely expensive new home has been rendered uninhabitable, which has effectively left my big sister and her three children homeless just before Christmas.

They are going to spend it with my auntie in Aberdeen, so that should be alright from a Christmas standpoint, but then they will need to find alternative housing in the private rented sector shortly afterwards.

It’s very cruel on my sister, she’s left her old house and put a 60k deposit down on this shithouse, 30k of which came from me. So I have also been stressed about it, and I have blamed her for not doing due diligence on this house.

This has coincided with me being put on new medication for my chronic abject back pain. Ive been taking pregabalin and tapentadol. It’s difficult to know how effective these new meds have been? I have had a couple of pain free episodes (an hour here or there) which feels great, but it has been fleeting and my suicidal ideation has gone through the roof.

It’s difficult to know whether the increase in suicidal ideation has come from the stress associated with the failed house move, and the fact that I’ll now be alone at Christmas, or whether the pregabalin is exacerbating my depression. Pregabalin is known to do this in some people.

I don’t think I’m gona take anymore pregabalin. I’m gona go back to tramadol. It’s far from perfect, and certainly doesn’t eradicate the pain, but this pregabalin stuff just does not feel right.

Thats all horrible mate. You're going to have to talk to your doctor about the meds, im ignorant about the meds and know nothing about them but i know others have said it can take a few weeks for certain meds to kick in. Better having that conversation with your doctor asap. they're not healthy thoughts and you shouldnt be having them, i hope your sister gets sorted properly and the house sorts itself out and both your investments will be fine. Youll need to sort the chronic pain too, i know you've mentioned before about the pain and other meds you've tried so buddy get in touch with your doctor as soon as possible and dont take no for an answer but keep talking and keep us updated on how things are going or just to clear your mind and chat about anything keep posting brother. ?

 

[witchdoc187]

So my ex wife has been in touch with a women's charity. No doubt alleging abuse. Fortunate because she's in Spain they couldn't help her. Can't believe it's come to this kind of allegation. None of you know me and she doesn't have the opportunity to defend herself but I can assure you this is not true. I think she is making an attempt to get full custody of my son/ my world and take him to another country because of vaccines etc. Anyway despite reacting negatively to every email I send she's now been really nice about asking for a divorce so she's obviously found out something. I'll get legal advice I just wanted to put it here. My son and I are so tight, almost to the point I think she's jealous. She's also massive anti Vax which makes me think she'll do anything to "save' him. I don't think she can do anything without the divorce, hence being nice. Can't believe it's come to this. Me and my boy are each others world.

 

[Sassy Colombian]

" Nature brings a lot of joy..." Been fortunate enough to swim with Whales and Dolphins and I absolutely love wildlife documentaries. Who doesn't sit there and watch and listen to David Attenborough and think " wow, just bloody wow..". So therapeutic. As has been said animals especially the ones we can be tactile with, are fantastically therapeutic. Your right, it IS the simple things that often bring us the most pleasure in life.

By the way, I'm working over Christmas so can I wish you Sassy and all the the other folk who frequent this forum a happy and peaceful Christmas. Take care all.

Hi, Spotty. Sorry for the delay but I've been traveling in Costa Rica, making the most of a trip that we were supposed to do last year before Covid began. This trip has brought so much joy to my life because I have been able to experience nature at its finest. There is something magical about nature and its beauty that heals one soul, and it was the perfect moment for such healing after losing to cancer our fellow GOT poster and friend @messymascot I think his lost would have been more depressing had at been home surrounded by the natural world, honoring his memory has brought some peace to my heart. So nature, like pets, have a healing power that one must take advantage of. Thus my advise to you is to go for that doggie, maybe 2022 is the year to let your fears down about this new commitment

I hope your Christmas goes smoothly at work. Your commitment to your patients and sacrificing Christmas with your family is admirable. Thanks for all you do. Our mental and health care providers need to be applauded for all their hard work.

Feliz Navidad, darling! X

Btw, I also enjoy nature documentaries

 

[Sassy Colombian]

A few weeks ago I was in a very bad place and came here to share and the support was terrific. Thank you to everyone who helped me.

Currently in a much better place and would have to say I’m the happiest I’ve been in quite some time. It’s still early days but hopefully things keep improving.

To all the posters who offer support and kindness in here - you should be immensely proud of yourselves.

So great to read about your recovery, you shall be very proud of yourself. Best of luck as you continue walking this path to feeling better.

 

[Sassy Colombian]

So my ex wife has been in touch with a women's charity. No doubt alleging abuse. Fortunate because she's in Spain they couldn't help her. Can't believe it's come to this kind of allegation. None of you know me and she doesn't have the opportunity to defend herself but I can assure you this is not true. I think she is making an attempt to get full custody of my son/ my world and take him to another country because of vaccines etc. Anyway despite reacting negatively to every email I send she's now been really nice about asking for a divorce so she's obviously found out something. I'll get legal advice I just wanted to put it here. My son and I are so tight, almost to the point I think she's jealous. She's also massive anti Vax which makes me think she'll do anything to "save' him. I don't think she can do anything without the divorce, hence being nice. Can't believe it's come to this. Me and my boy are each others world.

Mate, you really seem to be dealing with a crazy ex. I hope you can get some legal advice because your son deserves to be in your life and she seems to want to take away and break this bond that you got. Plus if she is planning to move away with the lad that has that bad reputation of abuse with kids, in addition to not wanting to vaccinate your child it seems as she is the one endangering him and shouldn’t be having full custody at all. She continues to play mind games with you. Make sure you are documenting anything she sends your way, as you may need it if you were to have a custody battle. Best wishes the next few days, I hope you still get to have a great Christmas celebration with your kid.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

So my ex wife has been in touch with a women's charity. No doubt alleging abuse. Fortunate because she's in Spain they couldn't help her. Can't believe it's come to this kind of allegation. None of you know me and she doesn't have the opportunity to defend herself but I can assure you this is not true. I think she is making an attempt to get full custody of my son/ my world and take him to another country because of vaccines etc. Anyway despite reacting negatively to every email I send she's now been really nice about asking for a divorce so she's obviously found out something. I'll get legal advice I just wanted to put it here. My son and I are so tight, almost to the point I think she's jealous. She's also massive anti Vax which makes me think she'll do anything to "save' him. I don't think she can do anything without the divorce, hence being nice. Can't believe it's come to this. Me and my boy are each others world.

You have to fight against this -as I'm sure you will. If you have evidence of all the weird and wacky things she believes in then keep it. Text messages and the like. Keep records of everything. When your son stays, what you did, where you went so she can't make allegations about you as a parent.ma

For the record, women like your ex who make false allegations of domestic violence make my blood boil. They make it so much harder for real victims to get taken seriously.

 

[witchdoc187]

You have to fight against this -as I'm sure you will. If you have evidence of all the weird and wacky things she believes in then keep it. Text messages and the like. Keep records of everything. When your son stays, what you did, where you went so she can't make allegations about you as a parent.ma

For the record, women like your ex who make false allegations of domestic violence make my blood boil. They make it so much harder for real victims to get taken seriously.

It's not violence I think she's trying to say I mentally abused her. This triggers me because I know it was the other way around. Kills me to think she is capable of breaking my son's heart in this way for her own selfishness. It's insane in itself

 

[witchdoc187]

Mate, you really seem to be dealing with a crazy ex. I hope you can get some legal advice because your son deserves to be in your life and she seems to want to take away and break this bond that you got. Plus if she is planning to move away with the lad that has that bad reputation of abuse with kids, in addition to not wanting to vaccinate your child it seems as she is the one endangering him and shouldn’t be having full custody at all. She continues to play mind games with you. Make sure you are documenting anything she sends your way, as you may need it if you were to have a custody battle. Best wishes the next few days, I hope you still get to have a great Christmas celebration with your kid.

He's with me Christmas eve and Christmas Day. Just wrapped his presents can't wait to see him. X

 

[witchdoc187]

Mate, you really seem to be dealing with a crazy ex. I hope you can get some legal advice because your son deserves to be in your life and she seems to want to take away and break this bond that you got. Plus if she is planning to move away with the lad that has that bad reputation of abuse with kids, in addition to not wanting to vaccinate your child it seems as she is the one endangering him and shouldn’t be having full custody at all. She continues to play mind games with you. Make sure you are documenting anything she sends your way, as you may need it if you were to have a custody battle. Best wishes the next few days, I hope you still get to have a great Christmas celebration with your kid.

He's my world and I'm his. This will never happen. I won't let it.

 

[Cameron Manning]

You have to fight against this -as I'm sure you will. If you have evidence of all the weird and wacky things she believes in then keep it. Text messages and the like. Keep records of everything. When your son stays, what you did, where you went so she can't make allegations about you as a parent.ma

For the record, women like your ex who make false allegations of domestic violence make my blood boil. They make it so much harder for real victims to get taken seriously.

I hope the advice you and Sassy Colombian have given to witchdoc 187 are taken on board by him and he fights the boy’s mother so he can retain contact with him for the well being of both of you, your love of your son stands out on these posts, best of luck.

 

[Spadge Vernacular]

It's not violence I think she's trying to say I mentally abused her. This triggers me because I know it was the other way around. Kills me to think she is capable of breaking my son's heart in this way for her own selfishness. It's insane in itself

Does she partake, recreationally?

 

[riddick]

Just found out one of my best mate's best mate killed himself last night. He was starting to go through a divorce but they started to reconcile. Leaves a 12 and 14 year old boy behind.

Just [Poor language removed] awful...

 

[andy4efc]

Andy, I’m sorry you been having such an awful time. I hope you don’t ever allow Everton to drive you to the edge because no Club is worthy of your life! Best wishes finding some positives in your life soon. X

It's not just the club ofcourse but for me Everton has been the only constant in my life other than my parents for 25 years so it's in my blood. I was bullied at school not for being slightly bigger, not for anything other than supporting Everton so it made that week a lot easier when Everton won. I was born in Liverpool but grew up in Wigan, so fully of smarmy glorying hunting United, Liverpool fans along with the big Wigan boom of when they got promoted. I'm 30 years old now (jesus christ!) and it still ruins my weekends. I remember when I was young and we were 0-0 at United on 87mins, we lost 3-0. I was in absolute years, not becuase we'd lost but becasue id just get bullied for the rest of the week. It's really hard to shake that connection off and not take it personally on a weekend.

It's a tough pill to swallow seeing us in this state, but its a lot easier when life pretty easy, or average. When Life is a struggle and then you've got this shower half arsing it on the pitch its tough. I'm very much trapped in work at the moment, I've gone from 11.7k term time only to 25k p/y in t he space of four years at my job, but Im absolutely trapped as I wont get that wage anywhere else without qualifications, of which my company has never put anything on for me to go and improve. The company are franchsing out left right and centre an the job I do ihas been left to rot, staffing issues constantly, no major focus on our area. I'll have to take a paycut to get out and I cant afford that as we've just bought a house and are awaiting contracts to be signed.

The whole situation is tough and being couped in at my parents squatting with minimal stuff while we wait to move in, having no outlet on a weekend positive or negative in football, trying to overcome a gambling addition of which I daily have a small urge and looking for a viable way out of my job which appears to have no chance.

It's tough. I'll get over it im sure but when it all goes wrong and builds up, thats when im concerned. Its hard to put into words really.

 

[witchdoc187]

Does she partake, recreationally?

She hasn't previously. But her new boyfriend does all the time. In fact it's all he does. So no idea if she's getting involved