I am thanks Earwig, it's not perfect and frankly it never is. But I'm very very lucky AND priveledged to work with and meet people who don't want much, most just need to know there are people who care. It can also be very funny, I laugh at myself a lot and laugh with my patients who are just people going through a rubbish time. I was taking someone to the food bank, and was accosted by " one of mine " once in there. He proceeded with: " Terry, I've been worried sick, I don't think they are paying my University Credit ", it kept me going all day. Brilliant. So yes, all good cheers. As my Nan used to say to me " if happiness knocks on your door, bring it in and give it a chair ". Wise old women my Nan was. Take care Earwig.
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Barnfred 55
Player Valuation: £80m
It's probably the most oft used phrase in his thread but here we go anyway. No apology necessary.
Another phrase used very often is, Great post Spotty.
That is so good to hear. I too remember some of the struggles you experienced and reading this is lovely.Hi all! Hope everyone's doing well (or as well as it can be for each)!
Just dropping in to say hi, as a frequent past-poster in here and want to... um, I dunno how to put it really. It's going to sound like a brag, in a way, but I want you all to know that this is not how it is intended, but as a help or encouragement, maybe, for everyone.
So, basically, back in ages ago when this thread was started I shared that I went to therapy and it was honestly a very eye-opening experience the first time (I lived in Scotland at the time).
Well, I didn't post here at the time much, but a few years ago I came back home, then got in a relationship with a girl who I thought was amazing for me at the time. The intimate times were great, and the partying was amazing, but emotionally she wasn't what I was looking for and I didn't know it at the time. She also brought back my old alcohol habits through partying, which was horrible, looking back.
When we broke up (for various reasons that are not important to this... story) - it devastated me. I had moved from my hometown to the capital city (Sofia) to start a "new life" here in a way, and had landed a job that didn't value me for me and I never piped up cuz I was too afraid to lose it, so this was horrible to myself.
Well, so, as I said, we broke up. Devastated, I looked for a therapist here again, and through word of mouth from the most unexpected person who I was an ass to before, I found a very, very good one. This was the actual eye opening experience that gave me the confidence to... try, you know? With that, I managed to get a promotion, of sorts, even though the money was still not enough for the work required.
As quite some time had passed, I got back into dating slowly, didn't really go well (for my confidence), but I managed to find a fantastic young woman who was 'all that'... online. By pure chance I had to move in with her, but at the same time I got in the process and eventually bought an apartment here, which without her support I'd have never even looked for in the first place. This was exactly when the pandemic hit our country btw, ironically Friday the 13th of February, 2020 lol when I started the buying process.
Well, through her encouraging me and feeling in general better since this - I barged my way into a better position at my now-old job. It paid... moderately well. Without giving away actual figures, it was roughly the average for the country, but not really a lot, still, compared to colleagues and work required. Well, in order to better myself, I got both of us to enlist in learning a programming language, and started looking for a job, without telling really anyone except the gf.
Now, this is pure chance what happens next, but I get it down to me having more confidence to try things - a now-ex-colleague of mine came up to me one day and basically said "hey so you're good with computers, my husband's looking for a junior at his job, wanna try" and I jumped on the chance for an interview. Well, without wanting to, again, say too much - I am now a broadcasting sysadmin for a huge media company here on the Balkans, for just about double my previous pay, which can only go up from here. I know money's not everything, but financial stability also feels... weird and new to me, but in a good way. This is also almost a stress-free job (relative to my previous one), where I get to learn new things almost on the daily (or hangout with famous people lol )
Regarding the apartment btw - we moved in a few days before Christmas, so that went as un-smoothly as possible and with SOOOOOOOOOO many delays, but we're here now lol I also learned a lot about doing stuff so there's good in that.
Basically, I just wanted to write that out as a success story, of sorts, so far. None of it was easy to do, none of it was extremely comfortable and I had to get out of my comfort zone for most of it - therapy, asking for a raise, online dating (we met through Tinder of all places), changing jobs, buying an actual apartment, etc. What I want to portray here as a feeling is that of... motivation, hopefully, for someone reading this. That it's not all horrible, that it will get better, but it will also take time and effort. I (and likely all of you) am still carrying my 'shadow' at times, but you have to shine back on it. You will find a way to find that shine source, whatever it may be, and use it as much as you can, as long as it betters yourself and doesn't harm you.
I don't want this to sound like I'm being rude towards someone's situation or anything like that, and I know everyone's situation is vastly different, but I want you all to want to try. That's it, just try. Do it for someone else, do it for something else, do it for a dog or a person or a car or whatever puts a smile on your face, but do it the most for you, as you're the most important!
Ages ago I posted here that there's a very apt acronym for the situation that a lot of us find ourselves in - H.O.P.E. - Hold On, Pain Ends. This is a reiteration of me finding out the same for myself, in a way. And it only took more than a decade, literally, to find out some things about myself.
Also it comes without saying, but if anyone wants an (electronic) ear to sound out things to, DM's are open and all!
Good luck.
witchdoc187
Player Valuation: £60m
Thanks for sharing I'm happy for you. This sort of post keeps me going and adds weight to the fact that I too will make it back up the ladder one day.Hi all! Hope everyone's doing well (or as well as it can be for each)!
Just dropping in to say hi, as a frequent past-poster in here and want to... um, I dunno how to put it really. It's going to sound like a brag, in a way, but I want you all to know that this is not how it is intended, but as a help or encouragement, maybe, for everyone.
So, basically, back in ages ago when this thread was started I shared that I went to therapy and it was honestly a very eye-opening experience the first time (I lived in Scotland at the time).
Well, I didn't post here at the time much, but a few years ago I came back home, then got in a relationship with a girl who I thought was amazing for me at the time. The intimate times were great, and the partying was amazing, but emotionally she wasn't what I was looking for and I didn't know it at the time. She also brought back my old alcohol habits through partying, which was horrible, looking back.
When we broke up (for various reasons that are not important to this... story) - it devastated me. I had moved from my hometown to the capital city (Sofia) to start a "new life" here in a way, and had landed a job that didn't value me for me and I never piped up cuz I was too afraid to lose it, so this was horrible to myself.
Well, so, as I said, we broke up. Devastated, I looked for a therapist here again, and through word of mouth from the most unexpected person who I was an ass to before, I found a very, very good one. This was the actual eye opening experience that gave me the confidence to... try, you know? With that, I managed to get a promotion, of sorts, even though the money was still not enough for the work required.
As quite some time had passed, I got back into dating slowly, didn't really go well (for my confidence), but I managed to find a fantastic young woman who was 'all that'... online. By pure chance I had to move in with her, but at the same time I got in the process and eventually bought an apartment here, which without her support I'd have never even looked for in the first place. This was exactly when the pandemic hit our country btw, ironically Friday the 13th of February, 2020 lol when I started the buying process.
Well, through her encouraging me and feeling in general better since this - I barged my way into a better position at my now-old job. It paid... moderately well. Without giving away actual figures, it was roughly the average for the country, but not really a lot, still, compared to colleagues and work required. Well, in order to better myself, I got both of us to enlist in learning a programming language, and started looking for a job, without telling really anyone except the gf.
Now, this is pure chance what happens next, but I get it down to me having more confidence to try things - a now-ex-colleague of mine came up to me one day and basically said "hey so you're good with computers, my husband's looking for a junior at his job, wanna try" and I jumped on the chance for an interview. Well, without wanting to, again, say too much - I am now a broadcasting sysadmin for a huge media company here on the Balkans, for just about double my previous pay, which can only go up from here. I know money's not everything, but financial stability also feels... weird and new to me, but in a good way. This is also almost a stress-free job (relative to my previous one), where I get to learn new things almost on the daily (or hangout with famous people lol )
Regarding the apartment btw - we moved in a few days before Christmas, so that went as un-smoothly as possible and with SOOOOOOOOOO many delays, but we're here now lol I also learned a lot about doing stuff so there's good in that.
Basically, I just wanted to write that out as a success story, of sorts, so far. None of it was easy to do, none of it was extremely comfortable and I had to get out of my comfort zone for most of it - therapy, asking for a raise, online dating (we met through Tinder of all places), changing jobs, buying an actual apartment, etc. What I want to portray here as a feeling is that of... motivation, hopefully, for someone reading this. That it's not all horrible, that it will get better, but it will also take time and effort. I (and likely all of you) am still carrying my 'shadow' at times, but you have to shine back on it. You will find a way to find that shine source, whatever it may be, and use it as much as you can, as long as it betters yourself and doesn't harm you.
I don't want this to sound like I'm being rude towards someone's situation or anything like that, and I know everyone's situation is vastly different, but I want you all to want to try. That's it, just try. Do it for someone else, do it for something else, do it for a dog or a person or a car or whatever puts a smile on your face, but do it the most for you, as you're the most important!
Ages ago I posted here that there's a very apt acronym for the situation that a lot of us find ourselves in - H.O.P.E. - Hold On, Pain Ends. This is a reiteration of me finding out the same for myself, in a way. And it only took more than a decade, literally, to find out some things about myself.
Also it comes without saying, but if anyone wants an (electronic) ear to sound out things to, DM's are open and all!
Just have to get used to seeing my wife disappearing hand in hand next door into my neighbours house. They walked into the bar I was in tonight hand in hand.
I use affirmations I find these help. "I am a flippin legend" etc...
Good on you pal love hearing these stories, gives hope to us that are a few months behind you
Hi Witchdoc
Could I ask if you have been getting any therepeutic professional support following the very obvious painful split from your previous partner. I don't " know " how your feeling, but I can imagine the turmoil your experiencing. You may or may not be ready to discuss things - very painful - but I would be happy to listen and give you what support I could if you would like to DM me and you feel the need. Take care buddy and I do hope you find some peace of mind.
witchdoc187
Player Valuation: £60m
I appreciate your kind offer. I'm good. Up and down as you can imagine but I'm coming out the other side. Whereas seeing them together used to induce panic attacks it now produces a smile of relief and the absurdity of the situation. It's been a challenge but one that I feel I'm winning
Pleased your feeling a little better buddy. Please don't suffer alone, this board is full of good caring folk who are happy to listen. Take care
witchdoc187
Player Valuation: £60m
Thanks mate much appreciated. The darkness appears to be lifting thank goodness.
Marcus Halberstram
Player Valuation: £500k
My job interview on Thursday went alright for those wishing me luck. I came out of it feeling I'd worked myself up into a panic for nothing. Said everything I could to show I had the relevant experience for the position. For a huge company I won't name they had me use a seven year old MacBook and mouse that look like it was from Poundland during an exercise.
Gwladysover
Player Valuation: £35m
Good to hear that the darkness is lifting, long may it continue.
Gwladysover
Player Valuation: £35m
Glad to hear everything went well, fingers crossed for a good outcome.
Fingers crossed for you
witchdoc187
Player Valuation: £60m
Thanks Gwladys. Much appreciated
back in here i go. ffs