good advice. If you have no control over a situation then don't worry about it. Also the scenarios we create in our heads that almost never happen are not worth expending emotional energy on.
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ForeverBlue92
Player Valuation: £80m
Good to hear mate - best time of the year for spending time with the kids for me.
Love Spring.
Its a bit easier said than done, though. I also think one should deal with trauma, dont push it away or ignore it. I cannot recommend the Bessel vd Kolk book ‘The Body Keeps The Score’ enough. Very helpfull. I do agree that perspective is important. Some things you cant do anything about. I was floored when Coldplay was added to Glastonbury 2002 but i learned to cope. Adversity makes you stronger.
good advice. I'm planning on doing the same
ForeverBlue92
Player Valuation: £80m
I've always loved Spring followed by Autumn.
Winter in the UK is just grim - wet, cold, dark and slippy you dont even get good snow to make up for it. As for summer - hot, sticky, bugs everywhere, crowded city centres, annoying neighbours having BBQs every weekend. It's only all the birdies walking around with their arse cheeks hanging out the denim shorts that makes it bearable lol
Blu, as a psychy nurse of many years I want to thank you for your recommendation for the book. I have ordered a copy of " The Body Keeps The Score " on your recommendation. I'm going to read it myself first under the premise of wanting to recommend / share it with my patients where appropriate. I hope to use it as a useful tool in supporting those people who have struggled with trauma.
Thank you.
parallelcircles
Player Valuation: £150k
Hi folks. Trying to subscribe recently to the idea that sports are merely a leisure activity. I don't want the things I am supposed to enjoy to wear me down, so this is likely my last post on the forum until the club's fate is sorted. After the Burnley game I had a horrible nights' rest and I don't think that's what should happen when I follow my hobbies. I'm going to try and assure myself it's not a reflection of me and my life whatever happens. Still a blue to the bitter end but don't want it to be the end of me.
Hope everyone else can find whatever they need to get them through this, whether they stay up or down. I would try and remind anyone getting themselves depressed about it that it's not their fault & there's nothing about the results on the pitch that actually reflect upon them as a person.
Until next time, fare thee well. -Parallelcircles
Hope everyone else can find whatever they need to get them through this, whether they stay up or down. I would try and remind anyone getting themselves depressed about it that it's not their fault & there's nothing about the results on the pitch that actually reflect upon them as a person.
Until next time, fare thee well. -Parallelcircles
Moonlight dribbler
Player Valuation: £6m
Hey mate, Unfortunately it's not a modern phenomenon, I remember chatting to a friend of my Dad's in 98, when we were facing relegation. He told me he had bought his first car in the late 50's, and had driven to a match, Everton had lost, and his thoughts had been preoccupied during the drive home, causing him to drive through traffic lights and into traffic. He then took up running. I took no notice and have only recently relaxed my approach to following multi millionaires kicking a bag of air. If my team win the league or get relegated, we are the same people regardless of any perceived reflected glory or disappointment.
Uuuuuurgh plop plop
Player Valuation: £950k
Tinder is utterly toxic, you've done right to find alternatives. I think Tinder and these other social media sites have done a lot to foster the kind of mentality that people have today. That we have become disposable assets to be liked, swiped and cast away.
I used to be active on social media. I had a Facebook account with loads of "friends". Then one day my wife got sick. She had a stroke in her eye and lost it, she got diagnosed with glaucoma at 27 and we had to come to terms with the prospect that some day in the future she will go completely blind. She had to have an operation to put a type of stent in her eye to stop the pressure building but it turned out she has a serious allergy to general anaesthetic and we nearly lost her. When she came round she had lost a lot of her bodily functions. She had no sense of touch, just pins and needles, she lost the use of her bladder and ended up with a catheter. During this time all of my "friends vanished. There were no kind words, no offers of help, just a wall of silence.
Anyway, the passage of time has seen her nervous system repair itself somewhat. She is back on her feet again and the catheter was removed after about 3 years. There is still the prospect of her going blind and she can't over exert herself but we are enjoying our time together and the time with our young children.
I just think technology is partly to blame for how people interact with each other. It has allowed us all to be seen as commodities and no consideration is made that we are all human beings with thoughts and feelings who need love and affection to thrive.
Uuuuuurgh plop plop
Player Valuation: £950k
I'd recommend trying to pick up a productive hobby if you have the time. I enjoy astronomy through the winter, I've missed plenty Everton matches because of a celestial event. Some of these things only occur once every 1000 years so a football match can wait.
I also build and mess around with model RC cars. The ones that come in kit form that you build yourself and paint up. I've got one on the table currently that is being upgraded from plastic to metal parts in the key stress areas. It's something to do and it provides satisfaction upon completion. You can get simpler kits from Tamiya for kids and sit together building them. It's not hard, the fiddly bits are keeping the shocks upright whilst your filling them with oil. Build them, run them, crash them, fix them. It's all part of the fun.
Jamo Martinez
Player Valuation: £70m
Given the topic of this thread, it's important to bare in mind that we don't walk in anyone else's shoes. It's possible that this person is self centred and inconsiderate but it's also possible that they are in a worse place than you. Maybe suffering from extreme anxiety and paranoia. Maybe she hears voices.
Either way, what she did is no reflection on you.
USABlue
Player Valuation: £70m
Anxiety has really been getting the best of me recently unfortunately a few times a week it keeps me up and I get little to no sleep. It's definitely a family trait (both my parents have been on Xanax for 20+ years), although both of their doctors are weening them of it now
Have you tried aerobic exercise mate ?
That’s how I keep a lid on my problems.
I took Ativan ( Xanax ) for years and although it works beautifully, the cold turkey when you come off is evil.
If they could find a non addictive drug, that had the same effect, a lot of peoples problems would be instantly solved.
Earwigjoe
Player Valuation: £10m
Wow, I hope she's going to be OK. I couldnt agree with you more. Its a selfish, throwaway - me, me, me society we live in now, where friends, relationships and everything important is often cast aside for vainglory, Its no wonder theres so many unhappy,, disillusioned people now - running a race that has no end and no one wins. People need to slow down and concentrate on the building blocks of a happy life - love and family instead of the next new buzz or shiny thing they think will make them happy - Again I hope and pray your wife will be ok, you seem to have it sorted as a strong Dad and husband and are head of a wonderful loving family.?
USABlue
Player Valuation: £70m
I haven't had the energy for exercise in ages. Between the anxiety keeping me awake at night then working full-time by the time I'm off work it's all I can do to make dinner and get the basics done around the house. I know it's needed though, maybe just need to conjure up energy on the weekend at least when I can sleep a bit more