wbn61
Player Valuation: £8m
I have learnt there are no garuentees (sic) but I try to help myself and I realise sometimes I need help
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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues
- Thread starter Groucho
- Start date
I have learnt there are no garuentees (sic) but I try to help myself and I realise sometimes I need help
Clint Planet
Utter Cad.
God, that's heartbreaking.
steken1
Player Valuation: £70m
Verbal Kint
Player Valuation: £35m
This thread is worth a million times more than anything or anyone on this forum
Please talk to someone if your feeling down, don't suffer in silence, i would encourage anybody who has a problem to spare a minute an read this
http://www.independent.ie/blog/conor-cusack-depression-is-a-friend-not-my-enemy-29707558.html
Please talk to someone if your feeling down, don't suffer in silence, i would encourage anybody who has a problem to spare a minute an read this
http://www.independent.ie/blog/conor-cusack-depression-is-a-friend-not-my-enemy-29707558.html
roydo
in memoriam - 1965-2024
Thats why I am pleased it was made a sticky mate. It is just there now, not being pushed or promoted, just a simple thread on a footie forum, that, probably by chance, might be of help to someone.
Danny, the Mods, and GOT should be be well proud of it IMO.
wbn61
Player Valuation: £8m
it's helping me already,knowing there is somewhere I frequent that I can talk. it's just finding the nerve to do it.
roydo
in memoriam - 1965-2024
Try your GP mate. Honestly, they will have heard your story/situation loads and loads of times. Wont judge you, will just listen, and help you.
Just making the appointment will be a step in the right direction.
Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian
The Unobstructed View
School putting lots of pressure on kids at moment, my lad is in the last year of primary and they're pushing them more and more.
They want him to do a higher level Maths in his Sats, which basically gets them higher up the league table, they all get reassessed at the High School anyway so he's not gonna benefit really, he was already going to the High School 2 days a week for something called 'Gifted & Talented' doing Science & Maths ~(which he was really enjoying) and now the Primary doesn't take them because they prefer to do all of this extra maths study. On Monday he goes in Early & stays an hour extra doing extra maths as well as doing it all afternoon, goes in early about 4 days a week.
He keeps coming home saying how they are on at them saying how important it is etc & cranking up the pressure, headaches, talking in sleep stuff like that. Cos it's wearing him out he comes home cranky and home life is becoming a bit of a battleground, which is also now starting to carry over in to school as they say he seems upset all of the time..... asking questions about home life, talking to him & then saying to us that he says he's always getting told off by us and is very unhappy etc etc ......... suggesting he see's a counsellor.
Now at his football it's been noticed that they are all acting up quite a bit lately, and between the parents we reckon that school pressure is getting to them all that much that once they get to training it's like a release and they all feel as if they can do what they want away from the constraints of the classroom. in his matches he has started to argue every decision with the ref every week.... just like he argues with us tbh, a couple of others are the same as well (shocking refs btw throughout the league, when they get SO MUCH wrong then the players who are 'in the mix' are bound to argue, especially when they know it's a parent from the other team that it appears is doing everything to get his team the win).
So at the moment we have a kid that seems to be very unhappy, moody & a bit of a brat, who school are saying needs to see a counsellor & are pointing the finger at us for making him unhappy (telling him off when acting up) yet refuse to acknowledge the pressure that they are putting him under FOR THEIR GAIN, yet other parents are telling us the same things as he is telling us regarding teachers ~(or more T.A.'s tbh). School can call in counsellors from CPA on a whim ~(increasing home stress btw) but it seems that we just have to accept what they are doing regarding the sats and all the pressure they are putting on 10/11 year olds.
THIS was all instigated by another kid as well btw, went to the teachers reporting that his friend was feeling unhappy, it coincided with him finding out that his mates parents had asked if he could go to centre parks with them and we'd said no, he took it as a punishment when in fact we had said no because they had left them alone in a room twice, once in London another at Alton Towers, he thinks they can do no wrong cos they are coppers & the Mrs wouldn't tell him or them the real reason as we could just stop it happening again by not letting him go away with them.
'Kin fumin when school contacted us to go in, offered explanations for all that they said (why the fff should we have to btw) but you don't know what gets passed on to 'authorities,' and now we are having to tread on eggshells for fear of him getting 1 on him and going in to school telling tales (or more to the point his mate), the xbox is the main source of probs btw i.e. Not being allowed to play games his mates do i.e. 18 Rated, pointed all of this out to school as well & they said "Nothing they can do about that" so Parents can let kids play those games, kids can give those that aren't allowed grief which causes probs at home & then the parents that won't let them play them are somehow in the wrong for making their kid unhappy ?
Well All Of Thats Off My Chest, until school call again .... next step as far as we are concerned is pulling him out of Sats, thereby removing the pressure they are putting him under, if they say he HAS to do them then we'll be informing them that we will keep him off with stress when it's time to do them, if we have to pay a fine then it won't matter cos we are looking out for our kid.
They want him to do a higher level Maths in his Sats, which basically gets them higher up the league table, they all get reassessed at the High School anyway so he's not gonna benefit really, he was already going to the High School 2 days a week for something called 'Gifted & Talented' doing Science & Maths ~(which he was really enjoying) and now the Primary doesn't take them because they prefer to do all of this extra maths study. On Monday he goes in Early & stays an hour extra doing extra maths as well as doing it all afternoon, goes in early about 4 days a week.
He keeps coming home saying how they are on at them saying how important it is etc & cranking up the pressure, headaches, talking in sleep stuff like that. Cos it's wearing him out he comes home cranky and home life is becoming a bit of a battleground, which is also now starting to carry over in to school as they say he seems upset all of the time..... asking questions about home life, talking to him & then saying to us that he says he's always getting told off by us and is very unhappy etc etc ......... suggesting he see's a counsellor.
Now at his football it's been noticed that they are all acting up quite a bit lately, and between the parents we reckon that school pressure is getting to them all that much that once they get to training it's like a release and they all feel as if they can do what they want away from the constraints of the classroom. in his matches he has started to argue every decision with the ref every week.... just like he argues with us tbh, a couple of others are the same as well (shocking refs btw throughout the league, when they get SO MUCH wrong then the players who are 'in the mix' are bound to argue, especially when they know it's a parent from the other team that it appears is doing everything to get his team the win).
So at the moment we have a kid that seems to be very unhappy, moody & a bit of a brat, who school are saying needs to see a counsellor & are pointing the finger at us for making him unhappy (telling him off when acting up) yet refuse to acknowledge the pressure that they are putting him under FOR THEIR GAIN, yet other parents are telling us the same things as he is telling us regarding teachers ~(or more T.A.'s tbh). School can call in counsellors from CPA on a whim ~(increasing home stress btw) but it seems that we just have to accept what they are doing regarding the sats and all the pressure they are putting on 10/11 year olds.
THIS was all instigated by another kid as well btw, went to the teachers reporting that his friend was feeling unhappy, it coincided with him finding out that his mates parents had asked if he could go to centre parks with them and we'd said no, he took it as a punishment when in fact we had said no because they had left them alone in a room twice, once in London another at Alton Towers, he thinks they can do no wrong cos they are coppers & the Mrs wouldn't tell him or them the real reason as we could just stop it happening again by not letting him go away with them.
'Kin fumin when school contacted us to go in, offered explanations for all that they said (why the fff should we have to btw) but you don't know what gets passed on to 'authorities,' and now we are having to tread on eggshells for fear of him getting 1 on him and going in to school telling tales (or more to the point his mate), the xbox is the main source of probs btw i.e. Not being allowed to play games his mates do i.e. 18 Rated, pointed all of this out to school as well & they said "Nothing they can do about that" so Parents can let kids play those games, kids can give those that aren't allowed grief which causes probs at home & then the parents that won't let them play them are somehow in the wrong for making their kid unhappy ?
Well All Of Thats Off My Chest, until school call again .... next step as far as we are concerned is pulling him out of Sats, thereby removing the pressure they are putting him under, if they say he HAS to do them then we'll be informing them that we will keep him off with stress when it's time to do them, if we have to pay a fine then it won't matter cos we are looking out for our kid.
wbn61
Player Valuation: £8m
reading reidys and other serious posts makes me feel sheepish and a bit of a fake. I'm not sure what depression really is. to clarify I am in remission and feeling really shitty most days and maybe that's just all it is. being fed up, frustrated that I can't do things. everyday just seems to merge into the next.match days are the only days I look forward to. I have got tickets for the utd game so I am trying to get out and do something. the last 2 matches I went to were disasters. couldn't drink and the walk from the pub to the ground took everything out of me. didn't enjoy the games as I usually do. having a bad day today so just waffling on sorry.
The Esk
Player Valuation: £70m
@Reidy's Bottle Of Grecian - good on you mate for what you have just written. Can't be easy with all these external influences and pressures which as you say don't ultimately benefit your son just his school. Stick to your principles, I am sure I speak for everyone on here would knows that you're the type of parent who wants to bring their children up properly.
As for the Xbox, it's difficult, I've had the same from my son, but I know it is the right decision to keep strict controls on what games they play - it would be a failure of our parental duties to give in....
As for the Xbox, it's difficult, I've had the same from my son, but I know it is the right decision to keep strict controls on what games they play - it would be a failure of our parental duties to give in....
The Esk
Player Valuation: £70m
Keep talking to the forum mate, I'm sure just by typing what you've typed will help, even in a small way to begin with!
roydo
in memoriam - 1965-2024
Waffle away mate. Sure things will start to look brighter for you.
toffeestillidie
Player Valuation: £35m
It's not really self-help book for getting out of depression, but The Happiness Hypothesis by John Haidt is a fantastic resource for learning about the way the brain works in a simple and understandable fashion. It combines eastern insights and western neuroscience, and uses good analogies to make the concepts easy to understand.
I think a lot of the reason people feel depression is that it's sort of how our brains are wired. Our brains work towards always achieving happiness but never attaining it, we always want more things but once we receive them, we shift our expectations to want even more. This worked well in our evolutionary history, but in modern society it can lead to debilitating stress and anxiety.
I would highly recommend the book, I don't think it's necessarily the right thing to read if you're in the middle of struggling with a fit of depression, but if you're prone to it from time to time (like most people are IMHO), it's a nice thing to thumb through.
Edit: to clarify a bit about why I found the book helpful, it helped me reassess what I really expect to get out of life, and helped me really that chasing happiness usually only leads to unhappiness. I think it's very helpful to look at your goals and the state of your life differently.
I think a lot of the reason people feel depression is that it's sort of how our brains are wired. Our brains work towards always achieving happiness but never attaining it, we always want more things but once we receive them, we shift our expectations to want even more. This worked well in our evolutionary history, but in modern society it can lead to debilitating stress and anxiety.
I would highly recommend the book, I don't think it's necessarily the right thing to read if you're in the middle of struggling with a fit of depression, but if you're prone to it from time to time (like most people are IMHO), it's a nice thing to thumb through.
Edit: to clarify a bit about why I found the book helpful, it helped me reassess what I really expect to get out of life, and helped me really that chasing happiness usually only leads to unhappiness. I think it's very helpful to look at your goals and the state of your life differently.
ART
Player Valuation: £8m
This is from a friend of mine a very open and honest account of his struggle.http://evenangelscry.blog.com/