Brilliant advice mate, spot on.
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iamEverton
Player Valuation: £2.5m
Death
I'll take down dat coal powered MG, I tel u Hwat
Thanks Everton. If I had a platoon of just 50 of you I'd conquer the world and bring world peace and happiness ?
Zezti
Player Valuation: £70m
Update
I don't think I'm crossing into depression again but this year just seems to get worse. The woman I met back in March recently confessed to cheating on me (with multiple people at the same time, wouldn't even apologise and said she will do it again). 6 months of effort and trust thrown away. I think it will affect any future relationships, too. I think I'm managing my emotions decently right now, considering. The loss of appetite which I previously had for 2 weeks at the start of this year to which I lost a fair bit of weight has returned due to the stress of it all, and I'm currently 48 hours without sleep because my brain keeps simulating conversations and scenarios that in some corner of my imagination brings some peace, but in reality will never happen.
The good thing is that I have a circle of really good friends that have stepped up in the last 24 hours. Even staying up to the early hours of the morning just talking despite having an early shift. I'm grateful that I'm not alone but this year has been really difficult. I'm almost 28 and I'm starting to feel like I'm behind my peers in terms of wealth/career/relationships. Trying not to focus on that right now though. Recent events are bad enough.
But hey, Everton won. That's something good.
Zezti, so sorry to hear your struggling. It is good that you have a good circle of friends for support. Continue touching base with them and keeping as much contact as you can with friends and loved ones is a good thing. We can sometimes feel we are " fighting " these issues alone when in reality, we often have friends and family who are willing to go on the " journey " with you. Can I ask if you have spoken to your GP about your feelings. Please pay them a visit if you haven't already. They may be able to prescribe something which will take the " edge " of things for you.
I'm intrigued about your " behind your peers....." Comment. Please buddy, you are not them, and vice versa. Their circumstances, family dynamics and personal life will NOT be the same my friend and might I suggest comparing your status with theirs is not helpfull. You are a unique person with different things going on in your life. Try if you can, to not judge the " success " of your life by comparing relative life styles and economic situation. There are many people who are contented with their life because they have what you are striving for, some peace of mind. Regarding your relationship issues, I promise,there is someone out there who does not want to chest on you, who only wants someone to care for, share their life and to love. You WILL know when you have met them so please don't stop meeting people and perhaps thinking it's you and your fault, because it isn't. Relationships are complicated but worth waiting for when they bring you happiness.
So share your problems, keep in touch with those who care for you and remember, recovering and identifying your struggling is a great first step. Your confidence has taken a knock but try not to go too deep. We tend to catastrophies things when things aren't going well but the thing that makes a difference to you - that lifts your mood and makes you feel better about life - might not be too far out of your reach. If you can, do the things that make you happy, it might be something simple, a good movie, nice food and good company. Nothing too complicated, just the things that give you pleasure and things that make you feel good inside. Surround yourself with good people, a little help from your GP will hopefully lift your mood and help you appreciate that hollistically, your life is NOT a failure, that your going through a rough phase in your life but that yes, you can turn things around. Good luck and take care my friend.
Billy Dean
Player Valuation: £70m
I'm not really the best at giving advice, but 28 is no age at all mate. It's natural that you feel that there's more you could've done, but still this is a really young age where you can still do whatever you want. Re career, you're probably going to be working another 40 years and you're still young, so still time to make any changes or do qualifications or whatever you want to do. For wealth and relationships you've still got tons of time too.
Good post Billy, well said fella
Gwladysover
Player Valuation: £35m
I echo wholeheartedly what @Spotty and @Billy Dean have said. Please don’t judge yourself by your perceived perception of others success. Things may not be as they seem and their success may have come at a cost in other aspects of their lives e.g relationships or peace of mind. You are your own person and what is right for them may not be right for you. Just be yourself. I know you feel, at 28, the clock is ticking but believe me it is not, you are young and have years ahead of you to make a success of things in which avenue life takes you and I’m not just talking success in a material sense. In time you will meet that special someone who recognises you for the lovely person you are. Be grateful you found out about the woman you were dating before you had committed anymore to the relationship, she wasn’t deserving of you. All the best.?
Such sound advice. This is what life throws at us all - with variations but on a common theme - and with the help and support of professionals and close family/friends better times will reappear, very often when least expected.
I try to envisage a clock that represents my life cycle with each hour representing ten years (not saying I will live to 120 but you get the gist). At certain times on the clock face I have experienced blips but I then look at the hours previous to remind me that I have had many good hours and then the hours ahead which I know will also be good. At the age of 28 @Zezti you are still in the early hours of your life cycle and your recent experiences whilst still very personal to you are just a blip. The hours ahead will be much more fruitful and fulfilling. Take care!
PS. I also have a strong belief that even Everton's current tortious life cycle will soon come to an end and much happier days are ahead.
Spot on also Gwladys, you should always try your best as an individual and not measure yourself against others, In my personal experience as you said, those that seem too perfect for their jobs can leave gaping voids elsewhere in their lives.
28 is also no age @Zezti put this latest relationship down to experience you have good friends around you.
The main thing here mate is firstly look after yourself, have pride in yourself first and foremost, get back into a routine, sleeping and eating properly, trying some exercise this will help reset yourself and you can start thinking about a new relationship as soon as you feel you are back in a good place.
Learn from your recent experience but don't let it put you off.
Good luck mate, keep posting.
ScouseClown
Player Valuation: £25k
Been awhile since I've had to open up but the past 2 weeks my mind has been eating away at me so need to let it out.
I'm in a happy relationship, have everything I could ever want, things are good in life, no issues at all.
However the past couple of weeks for some reason one of my exes keeps crossing my mind and I have no idea why. This same ex cheated on me and was controlling so I know the relationship was bad for me but for some reason it just keeps eating away at me even though we split over 6 years ago.
Just wondering if anyone else has experienced anything like this or have any idea why this could be occurring because it's getting to the point it's making me feel physically sick.
I'm in a happy relationship, have everything I could ever want, things are good in life, no issues at all.
However the past couple of weeks for some reason one of my exes keeps crossing my mind and I have no idea why. This same ex cheated on me and was controlling so I know the relationship was bad for me but for some reason it just keeps eating away at me even though we split over 6 years ago.
Just wondering if anyone else has experienced anything like this or have any idea why this could be occurring because it's getting to the point it's making me feel physically sick.
I suspect your being very selective in thinking about the positive, pleasent and frankly " good times " you had with your ex. These thoughts have came flooding back and " probably " clouding just how good the relationship was. Subconsciously I expect you have wanted the relationship to go on but Scouse, she cheated on you. Would you take her back ? Yes other aspects of your relationship were good but her cheating on you is telling. Nothing wrong with yearning for the good times you had but tread carefully bud. She wasn't loyal and by cheating on you, couldn't have thought much about your feelings. Don't beat yourself up over your to thought processes, but don't sugar coat the pain she caused you. Take care, don't be too hard on yourself, I'm sure you'll meet someone who won't be too ready to ride rough shod over your feelings.
ScouseClown
Player Valuation: £25k
Thanks.
I have met someone and everything is all good, been together over 2 years now and I'm really happy.
Just wasn't sure why suddenly these 2 past weeks I've been questioning what if. Like something has triggered it and I don't know what.
It probably is just a phase and I need to block it out and continue moving forward because I'm very happy in my current relationship.
I have met someone and everything is all good, been together over 2 years now and I'm really happy.
Just wasn't sure why suddenly these 2 past weeks I've been questioning what if. Like something has triggered it and I don't know what.
It probably is just a phase and I need to block it out and continue moving forward because I'm very happy in my current relationship.
One of my mates uses a term to describe the feelings that you`re having for your ex at the moment mate - " seeing things, through rose tinted testicles "
Remembering all he good stuff, but blotting out all the bad stuff, almost to the point where none of it happened.
Give it time mate and it`ll pass.