Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[the golden visionary]

I've posted a couple of times in here over the years, I'm happy to say it's been 4 and a half years since I quit everything. Weed, ciggy, ale, painkillers and antidepressants.

I have the odd drink on a special occasion these days tho but I'm no longer living life thru the bottom of a bottle of whiskey.

Since that day, I've finally got myself a career, savings and I'm reconnecting with friends I lost when I was down.

Lifes not perfect but its 100% better than it was. I can combat the train of thought that used to derail me by reminding myself where I am at.

 

[COYBL25]

I've posted a couple of times in here over the years, I'm happy to say it's been 4 and a half years since I quit everything. Weed, ciggy, ale, painkillers and antidepressants.

I have the odd drink on a special occasion these days tho but I'm no longer living life thru the bottom of a bottle of whiskey.

Since that day, I've finally got myself a career, savings and I'm reconnecting with friends I lost when I was down.

Lifes not perfect but its 100% better than it was. I can combat the train of thought that used to derail me by reminding myself where I am at.

Well in mate.

It may not be intentional, but posts like this, can give others who are struggling real hope.

 

[Gwladysover]

I've posted a couple of times in here over the years, I'm happy to say it's been 4 and a half years since I quit everything. Weed, ciggy, ale, painkillers and antidepressants.

I have the odd drink on a special occasion these days tho but I'm no longer living life thru the bottom of a bottle of whiskey.

Since that day, I've finally got myself a career, savings and I'm reconnecting with friends I lost when I was down.

Lifes not perfect but its 100% better than it was. I can combat the train of thought that used to derail me by reminding myself where I am at.

Great news, congratulations.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

I've posted a couple of times in here over the years, I'm happy to say it's been 4 and a half years since I quit everything. Weed, ciggy, ale, painkillers and antidepressants.

I have the odd drink on a special occasion these days tho but I'm no longer living life thru the bottom of a bottle of whiskey.

Since that day, I've finally got myself a career, savings and I'm reconnecting with friends I lost when I was down.

Lifes not perfect but its 100% better than it was. I can combat the train of thought that used to derail me by reminding myself where I am at.

That's really good. Congratulations x

 

[Lobster Johnson]

You know you're on a bad run when even your dog hates you.

 

[Diogenes the Cynic]

I've avoided posting in here for a long time, a long time.

I said it was because I was a mental health nurse and I had too much on my plate in work to take on the same outside but really it's because I was only able to cope in work and my own mental health outside was a complete car crash.

I've endured childhood emotional neglect, bullying, a broken home and parental divorce. I was a straight A student until my teens then went completely off the rails, kicked out of school and 2 colleges. I picked myself up time and time again but never had the core confidence to sustain it and bounced from rock bottom to sky high, from super fit to a bulimic whale spending hundreds a week on food and vomiting it all into the toilet.

I've felt like the worst type of hypocrite for years, getting people off drugs working for drug/alcohol services and getting wired daily.

Working ED services and unable to keep food down.

Working acute and crisis mental health for years, trying to make everyone see their worth and not to kill themselves while fantasising that I would have the strength to do it myself.

When I was in Thailand I was so close to killing myself I had a cord around my neck night after night and cried because I was too scared to do it. I used to swim for hours in the sea every day, I hoped a shark would just take me and I would be spared having to do it myself.

When I came home I thought things would be better. My family were embarrassed, didn't want to discuss it. I thought it was the only time in my life I wasn't to blame, I was innocent, I was brushed under the carpet.

I took the worst option, moved to London and went back on coke to extreme levels.

I am now in Bristol, I'm married to a lovely Slovenian girl. We're expecting a baby. I haven't used drugs in 2 months and I have no wish to. I've been terrified for years of prison. I have nightmares, I have panic attacks seeing police cars and sirens. I know I have PTSD for several things but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I swim, I do gym classes. I attend a buddist temple weekly and meditate every day. It's tough, I can remember being unable to clear my mind for a minute and now I have some control. I have an allotment I applied for when I was off my face 3 years ago and now it's a tent pole in my life. I go foraging, I listen to old jazz music.

I've been in therapy for over 3 years now. If you have tried it and it didn't work, don't discard it. There's a lot of types of therapy out there and you have to connect with the therapist. Also antidepressants aren't a one fits all situation, you may need to try a lot of meds and doses before you find your trip.

I haven't won the war. Life is fragile as is our mental health. I'll probably be too anxious after posting this to even come on here for days. But this forum was an absolute lifeline to me at some of my lowest moments. And just reading familiar voices and laughing at the trivial things was a distraction enough just to carry on another day.

I may not be back on this thread again for a long time, this was pretty hard. But hopefully this will help someone else and show gratitude to this community for what it continues to give me.

 

[Rita_Poon]

Good luck with the new lady and the kidda. Sometimes there's darkness and even worse but things do turn. Clock in and keep up, just ticking over the posts, when we are isolated by our pain it only magnifies it.

 

[BullensRoad]

I've avoided posting in here for a long time, a long time.

I said it was because I was a mental health nurse and I had too much on my plate in work to take on the same outside but really it's because I was only able to cope in work and my own mental health outside was a complete car crash.

I've endured childhood emotional neglect, bullying, a broken home and parental divorce. I was a straight A student until my teens then went completely off the rails, kicked out of school and 2 colleges. I picked myself up time and time again but never had the core confidence to sustain it and bounced from rock bottom to sky high, from super fit to a bulimic whale spending hundreds a week on food and vomiting it all into the toilet.

I've felt like the worst type of hypocrite for years, getting people off drugs working for drug/alcohol services and getting wired daily.

Working ED services and unable to keep food down.

Working acute and crisis mental health for years, trying to make everyone see their worth and not to kill themselves while fantasising that I would have the strength to do it myself.

When I was in Thailand I was so close to killing myself I had a cord around my neck night after night and cried because I was too scared to do it. I used to swim for hours in the sea every day, I hoped a shark would just take me and I would be spared having to do it myself.

When I came home I thought things would be better. My family were embarrassed, didn't want to discuss it. I thought it was the only time in my life I wasn't to blame, I was innocent, I was brushed under the carpet.

I took the worst option, moved to London and went back on coke to extreme levels.

I am now in Bristol, I'm married to a lovely Slovenian girl. We're expecting a baby. I haven't used drugs in 2 months and I have no wish to. I've been terrified for years of prison. I have nightmares, I have panic attacks seeing police cars and sirens. I know I have PTSD for several things but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I swim, I do gym classes. I attend a buddist temple weekly and meditate every day. It's tough, I can remember being unable to clear my mind for a minute and now I have some control. I have an allotment I applied for when I was off my face 3 years ago and now it's a tent pole in my life. I go foraging, I listen to old jazz music.

I've been in therapy for over 3 years now. If you have tried it and it didn't work, don't discard it. There's a lot of types of therapy out there and you have to connect with the therapist. Also antidepressants aren't a one fits all situation, you may need to try a lot of meds and doses before you find your trip.

I haven't won the war. Life is fragile as is our mental health. I'll probably be too anxious after posting this to even come on here for days. But this forum was an absolute lifeline to me at some of my lowest moments. And just reading familiar voices and laughing at the trivial things was a distraction enough just to carry on another day.

I may not be back on this thread again for a long time, this was pretty hard. But hopefully this will help someone else and show gratitude to this community for what it continues to give me.

Brother I've always enjoyed your posts and you come across as a great guy.

 

[Spotty]

I've avoided posting in here for a long time, a long time.

I said it was because I was a mental health nurse and I had too much on my plate in work to take on the same outside but really it's because I was only able to cope in work and my own mental health outside was a complete car crash.

I've endured childhood emotional neglect, bullying, a broken home and parental divorce. I was a straight A student until my teens then went completely off the rails, kicked out of school and 2 colleges. I picked myself up time and time again but never had the core confidence to sustain it and bounced from rock bottom to sky high, from super fit to a bulimic whale spending hundreds a week on food and vomiting it all into the toilet.

I've felt like the worst type of hypocrite for years, getting people off drugs working for drug/alcohol services and getting wired daily.

Working ED services and unable to keep food down.

Working acute and crisis mental health for years, trying to make everyone see their worth and not to kill themselves while fantasising that I would have the strength to do it myself.

When I was in Thailand I was so close to killing myself I had a cord around my neck night after night and cried because I was too scared to do it. I used to swim for hours in the sea every day, I hoped a shark would just take me and I would be spared having to do it myself.

When I came home I thought things would be better. My family were embarrassed, didn't want to discuss it. I thought it was the only time in my life I wasn't to blame, I was innocent, I was brushed under the carpet.

I took the worst option, moved to London and went back on coke to extreme levels.

I am now in Bristol, I'm married to a lovely Slovenian girl. We're expecting a baby. I haven't used drugs in 2 months and I have no wish to. I've been terrified for years of prison. I have nightmares, I have panic attacks seeing police cars and sirens. I know I have PTSD for several things but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I swim, I do gym classes. I attend a buddist temple weekly and meditate every day. It's tough, I can remember being unable to clear my mind for a minute and now I have some control. I have an allotment I applied for when I was off my face 3 years ago and now it's a tent pole in my life. I go foraging, I listen to old jazz music.

I've been in therapy for over 3 years now. If you have tried it and it didn't work, don't discard it. There's a lot of types of therapy out there and you have to connect with the therapist. Also antidepressants aren't a one fits all situation, you may need to try a lot of meds and doses before you find your trip.

I haven't won the war. Life is fragile as is our mental health. I'll probably be too anxious after posting this to even come on here for days. But this forum was an absolute lifeline to me at some of my lowest moments. And just reading familiar voices and laughing at the trivial things was a distraction enough just to carry on another day.

I may not be back on this thread again for a long time, this was pretty hard. But hopefully this will help someone else and show gratitude to this community for what it continues to give me.

A very very honest post. I myself have been a psychiatric nurse for over two decades. Our " clients " are by nature extremely vulnerable, and as you know supporting them can be stressful and draining. I have witnessed and experienced many a very traumatic events and as you know, one has to ensure we have regular clinical supervisor. It goes without saying we need to be at our best mentally to provide the most empathetic interventions for our service users.

You appear to have a lot of insight into your issues and how they affect you. My advice to you bud would be to take your time in your recovery journey. Reflect, take soundings from colleagues, friends and loved ones about the best course of action to take with regarding returning to work or other less stressful career choices. There are lots of nursing jobs - I could work 24 hrs a day - so having a break from your job whilst you recover, will not see you being unable to find work on your return. You have a child to look forward to - I'm sure you'll be a great dad - and there's nothing like a another mouth to feed to focus our attention. This board is a wonderful source of support and advice, lots of people with their " lived " experience of going through mental health issues. I read lots from posters on here saying " I'm not an expert " - well they are. There's no one more expert than themselves in living with mental health problems.

Good luck on your journey bud, You've been through a lot and I feel sometimes we all need - yes that's you too - a period of reflection, to recover and to empty our heads of the " clutter " that has accumulated. It's good to simplify things, to not think too much, to not worry but to concentrate on the basics of life, such as companionship, doing the things that make us content and experiencing again the simple pleasures of life, like nice food, experiencing the outdoors or taking up that much put back hobby you've denied yourself. We are people, humans and are often fragile. I hope you are much kinder to yourself my friend. Take care and all the best.

 

[Gwladysover]

I've avoided posting in here for a long time, a long time.

I said it was because I was a mental health nurse and I had too much on my plate in work to take on the same outside but really it's because I was only able to cope in work and my own mental health outside was a complete car crash.

I've endured childhood emotional neglect, bullying, a broken home and parental divorce. I was a straight A student until my teens then went completely off the rails, kicked out of school and 2 colleges. I picked myself up time and time again but never had the core confidence to sustain it and bounced from rock bottom to sky high, from super fit to a bulimic whale spending hundreds a week on food and vomiting it all into the toilet.

I've felt like the worst type of hypocrite for years, getting people off drugs working for drug/alcohol services and getting wired daily.

Working ED services and unable to keep food down.

Working acute and crisis mental health for years, trying to make everyone see their worth and not to kill themselves while fantasising that I would have the strength to do it myself.

When I was in Thailand I was so close to killing myself I had a cord around my neck night after night and cried because I was too scared to do it. I used to swim for hours in the sea every day, I hoped a shark would just take me and I would be spared having to do it myself.

When I came home I thought things would be better. My family were embarrassed, didn't want to discuss it. I thought it was the only time in my life I wasn't to blame, I was innocent, I was brushed under the carpet.

I took the worst option, moved to London and went back on coke to extreme levels.

I am now in Bristol, I'm married to a lovely Slovenian girl. We're expecting a baby. I haven't used drugs in 2 months and I have no wish to. I've been terrified for years of prison. I have nightmares, I have panic attacks seeing police cars and sirens. I know I have PTSD for several things but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I swim, I do gym classes. I attend a buddist temple weekly and meditate every day. It's tough, I can remember being unable to clear my mind for a minute and now I have some control. I have an allotment I applied for when I was off my face 3 years ago and now it's a tent pole in my life. I go foraging, I listen to old jazz music.

I've been in therapy for over 3 years now. If you have tried it and it didn't work, don't discard it. There's a lot of types of therapy out there and you have to connect with the therapist. Also antidepressants aren't a one fits all situation, you may need to try a lot of meds and doses before you find your trip.

I haven't won the war. Life is fragile as is our mental health. I'll probably be too anxious after posting this to even come on here for days. But this forum was an absolute lifeline to me at some of my lowest moments. And just reading familiar voices and laughing at the trivial things was a distraction enough just to carry on another day.

I may not be back on this thread again for a long time, this was pretty hard. But hopefully this will help someone else and show gratitude to this community for what it continues to give me.

Thank you for sharing your story even though it was difficult for you. Congratulations on the progress you have made and the expected baby. I’m sure we’d all love news of his/her arrival if you feel able to share. My very best wishes for the future.

 

[ForeverBlue92]

I've avoided posting in here for a long time, a long time.

I said it was because I was a mental health nurse and I had too much on my plate in work to take on the same outside but really it's because I was only able to cope in work and my own mental health outside was a complete car crash.

I've endured childhood emotional neglect, bullying, a broken home and parental divorce. I was a straight A student until my teens then went completely off the rails, kicked out of school and 2 colleges. I picked myself up time and time again but never had the core confidence to sustain it and bounced from rock bottom to sky high, from super fit to a bulimic whale spending hundreds a week on food and vomiting it all into the toilet.

I've felt like the worst type of hypocrite for years, getting people off drugs working for drug/alcohol services and getting wired daily.

Working ED services and unable to keep food down.

Working acute and crisis mental health for years, trying to make everyone see their worth and not to kill themselves while fantasising that I would have the strength to do it myself.

When I was in Thailand I was so close to killing myself I had a cord around my neck night after night and cried because I was too scared to do it. I used to swim for hours in the sea every day, I hoped a shark would just take me and I would be spared having to do it myself.

When I came home I thought things would be better. My family were embarrassed, didn't want to discuss it. I thought it was the only time in my life I wasn't to blame, I was innocent, I was brushed under the carpet.

I took the worst option, moved to London and went back on coke to extreme levels.

I am now in Bristol, I'm married to a lovely Slovenian girl. We're expecting a baby. I haven't used drugs in 2 months and I have no wish to. I've been terrified for years of prison. I have nightmares, I have panic attacks seeing police cars and sirens. I know I have PTSD for several things but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I swim, I do gym classes. I attend a buddist temple weekly and meditate every day. It's tough, I can remember being unable to clear my mind for a minute and now I have some control. I have an allotment I applied for when I was off my face 3 years ago and now it's a tent pole in my life. I go foraging, I listen to old jazz music.

I've been in therapy for over 3 years now. If you have tried it and it didn't work, don't discard it. There's a lot of types of therapy out there and you have to connect with the therapist. Also antidepressants aren't a one fits all situation, you may need to try a lot of meds and doses before you find your trip.

I haven't won the war. Life is fragile as is our mental health. I'll probably be too anxious after posting this to even come on here for days. But this forum was an absolute lifeline to me at some of my lowest moments. And just reading familiar voices and laughing at the trivial things was a distraction enough just to carry on another day.

I may not be back on this thread again for a long time, this was pretty hard. But hopefully this will help someone else and show gratitude to this community for what it continues to give me.

Great post mate and hope you're doing well - cant recommend meditation enough

 

[MrPerfectNot]

I've avoided posting in here for a long time, a long time.

I said it was because I was a mental health nurse and I had too much on my plate in work to take on the same outside but really it's because I was only able to cope in work and my own mental health outside was a complete car crash.

I've endured childhood emotional neglect, bullying, a broken home and parental divorce. I was a straight A student until my teens then went completely off the rails, kicked out of school and 2 colleges. I picked myself up time and time again but never had the core confidence to sustain it and bounced from rock bottom to sky high, from super fit to a bulimic whale spending hundreds a week on food and vomiting it all into the toilet.

I've felt like the worst type of hypocrite for years, getting people off drugs working for drug/alcohol services and getting wired daily.

Working ED services and unable to keep food down.

Working acute and crisis mental health for years, trying to make everyone see their worth and not to kill themselves while fantasising that I would have the strength to do it myself.

When I was in Thailand I was so close to killing myself I had a cord around my neck night after night and cried because I was too scared to do it. I used to swim for hours in the sea every day, I hoped a shark would just take me and I would be spared having to do it myself.

When I came home I thought things would be better. My family were embarrassed, didn't want to discuss it. I thought it was the only time in my life I wasn't to blame, I was innocent, I was brushed under the carpet.

I took the worst option, moved to London and went back on coke to extreme levels.

I am now in Bristol, I'm married to a lovely Slovenian girl. We're expecting a baby. I haven't used drugs in 2 months and I have no wish to. I've been terrified for years of prison. I have nightmares, I have panic attacks seeing police cars and sirens. I know I have PTSD for several things but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I swim, I do gym classes. I attend a buddist temple weekly and meditate every day. It's tough, I can remember being unable to clear my mind for a minute and now I have some control. I have an allotment I applied for when I was off my face 3 years ago and now it's a tent pole in my life. I go foraging, I listen to old jazz music.

I've been in therapy for over 3 years now. If you have tried it and it didn't work, don't discard it. There's a lot of types of therapy out there and you have to connect with the therapist. Also antidepressants aren't a one fits all situation, you may need to try a lot of meds and doses before you find your trip.

I haven't won the war. Life is fragile as is our mental health. I'll probably be too anxious after posting this to even come on here for days. But this forum was an absolute lifeline to me at some of my lowest moments. And just reading familiar voices and laughing at the trivial things was a distraction enough just to carry on another day.

I may not be back on this thread again for a long time, this was pretty hard. But hopefully this will help someone else and show gratitude to this community for what it continues to give me.

DTC, you've really laid yourself bare in this - and that's amazing. There is a lot of power in putting it all out there, saying "Here I am" - it can take a moment to realize, "Damn, that feels good!" to be as honest as you have been - but it's essential to you focusing on what's important to you and shaping the life that you need and want.

Hugely proud of and for you.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

I've avoided posting in here for a long time, a long time.

I said it was because I was a mental health nurse and I had too much on my plate in work to take on the same outside but really it's because I was only able to cope in work and my own mental health outside was a complete car crash.

I've endured childhood emotional neglect, bullying, a broken home and parental divorce. I was a straight A student until my teens then went completely off the rails, kicked out of school and 2 colleges. I picked myself up time and time again but never had the core confidence to sustain it and bounced from rock bottom to sky high, from super fit to a bulimic whale spending hundreds a week on food and vomiting it all into the toilet.

I've felt like the worst type of hypocrite for years, getting people off drugs working for drug/alcohol services and getting wired daily.

Working ED services and unable to keep food down.

Working acute and crisis mental health for years, trying to make everyone see their worth and not to kill themselves while fantasising that I would have the strength to do it myself.

When I was in Thailand I was so close to killing myself I had a cord around my neck night after night and cried because I was too scared to do it. I used to swim for hours in the sea every day, I hoped a shark would just take me and I would be spared having to do it myself.

When I came home I thought things would be better. My family were embarrassed, didn't want to discuss it. I thought it was the only time in my life I wasn't to blame, I was innocent, I was brushed under the carpet.

I took the worst option, moved to London and went back on coke to extreme levels.

I am now in Bristol, I'm married to a lovely Slovenian girl. We're expecting a baby. I haven't used drugs in 2 months and I have no wish to. I've been terrified for years of prison. I have nightmares, I have panic attacks seeing police cars and sirens. I know I have PTSD for several things but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I swim, I do gym classes. I attend a buddist temple weekly and meditate every day. It's tough, I can remember being unable to clear my mind for a minute and now I have some control. I have an allotment I applied for when I was off my face 3 years ago and now it's a tent pole in my life. I go foraging, I listen to old jazz music.

I've been in therapy for over 3 years now. If you have tried it and it didn't work, don't discard it. There's a lot of types of therapy out there and you have to connect with the therapist. Also antidepressants aren't a one fits all situation, you may need to try a lot of meds and doses before you find your trip.

I haven't won the war. Life is fragile as is our mental health. I'll probably be too anxious after posting this to even come on here for days. But this forum was an absolute lifeline to me at some of my lowest moments. And just reading familiar voices and laughing at the trivial things was a distraction enough just to carry on another day.

I may not be back on this thread again for a long time, this was pretty hard. But hopefully this will help someone else and show gratitude to this community for what it continues to give me.

Truly uplifting story and thank you for sharing. You should be very proud of yourself with your career, determination and your new found calm. Good luck with the baby - he/she will bring a whole new wonderful dimension to your life.

 

[witchdoc187]

I've posted a couple of times in here over the years, I'm happy to say it's been 4 and a half years since I quit everything. Weed, ciggy, ale, painkillers and antidepressants.

I have the odd drink on a special occasion these days tho but I'm no longer living life thru the bottom of a bottle of whiskey.

Since that day, I've finally got myself a career, savings and I'm reconnecting with friends I lost when I was down.

Lifes not perfect but its 100% better than it was. I can combat the train of thought that used to derail me by reminding myself where I am at.

Just what I need to read. I'm day 5 of no booze and other stuff and my anxiety is sky high. Hoping it's just the substances leaving my body. But changes need to be made. So here I am at the beginning of the road yet again x

 

[witchdoc187]

I've avoided posting in here for a long time, a long time.

I said it was because I was a mental health nurse and I had too much on my plate in work to take on the same outside but really it's because I was only able to cope in work and my own mental health outside was a complete car crash.

I've endured childhood emotional neglect, bullying, a broken home and parental divorce. I was a straight A student until my teens then went completely off the rails, kicked out of school and 2 colleges. I picked myself up time and time again but never had the core confidence to sustain it and bounced from rock bottom to sky high, from super fit to a bulimic whale spending hundreds a week on food and vomiting it all into the toilet.

I've felt like the worst type of hypocrite for years, getting people off drugs working for drug/alcohol services and getting wired daily.

Working ED services and unable to keep food down.

Working acute and crisis mental health for years, trying to make everyone see their worth and not to kill themselves while fantasising that I would have the strength to do it myself.

When I was in Thailand I was so close to killing myself I had a cord around my neck night after night and cried because I was too scared to do it. I used to swim for hours in the sea every day, I hoped a shark would just take me and I would be spared having to do it myself.

When I came home I thought things would be better. My family were embarrassed, didn't want to discuss it. I thought it was the only time in my life I wasn't to blame, I was innocent, I was brushed under the carpet.

I took the worst option, moved to London and went back on coke to extreme levels.

I am now in Bristol, I'm married to a lovely Slovenian girl. We're expecting a baby. I haven't used drugs in 2 months and I have no wish to. I've been terrified for years of prison. I have nightmares, I have panic attacks seeing police cars and sirens. I know I have PTSD for several things but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I swim, I do gym classes. I attend a buddist temple weekly and meditate every day. It's tough, I can remember being unable to clear my mind for a minute and now I have some control. I have an allotment I applied for when I was off my face 3 years ago and now it's a tent pole in my life. I go foraging, I listen to old jazz music.

I've been in therapy for over 3 years now. If you have tried it and it didn't work, don't discard it. There's a lot of types of therapy out there and you have to connect with the therapist. Also antidepressants aren't a one fits all situation, you may need to try a lot of meds and doses before you find your trip.

I haven't won the war. Life is fragile as is our mental health. I'll probably be too anxious after posting this to even come on here for days. But this forum was an absolute lifeline to me at some of my lowest moments. And just reading familiar voices and laughing at the trivial things was a distraction enough just to carry on another day.

I may not be back on this thread again for a long time, this was pretty hard. But hopefully this will help someone else and show gratitude to this community for what it continues to give me.

So many similarities to my own situation. Keep going mate. People don't understand the strength it takes to overcome these obstacles. Your story is an inspiration to me mate