Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Nymzee]

I went out for a work away day in London on Thursday, which was free drink all day. I was fairly drunk by the end, but manageable.

When I left it all hit me, I got really confused and couldn't remember where I was. Which obviously worried my gf loads. I don't know what happened, it was really weird. I sat down for 5 mins and then was fine again and managed to get the underground and train home ok

My gf is fuming at me, and rightly so as I can see why she was so worried etc

Now she wants to cut alcohol nearly completely out of our lives. Obviously I can see massive benefits of it, but as most alcohol/pubs have been such a big part of my life I honestly think I'd struggle a lot, as pathetic as it sounds. Even the idea of telling people I'm stopping/not drinking much worries me

Is it easier than it sounds? Even if it doesn't fully materialise as giving up completely, I do want to stop for a few weeks.. something I have never really done before

I suspect the heat we're having didn't help you at all on Thursday; it can mess with drunk people when you're trying to actually do stuff so I wouldn't worry too much about that episode.

As far as cutting alcohol out of your lives maybe you just need to sit down with her and compromise on a level. Does this mean no couple of glasses of wine with a movie for example? Which has zero negatives in my world. If it's binge drinking then sure. I used to be a regular Thursday to Saturday boozer but now I don't drink in the house (bird doesn't live with me yet) and I only drink for occassions never just because it's the weekend. I haven't found it particularly difficult but thankfully my friends are all doing quite similar.

 

[Daveysgingerlovechild]

I went out for a work away day in London on Thursday, which was free drink all day. I was fairly drunk by the end, but manageable.

When I left it all hit me, I got really confused and couldn't remember where I was. Which obviously worried my gf loads. I don't know what happened, it was really weird. I sat down for 5 mins and then was fine again and managed to get the underground and train home ok

My gf is fuming at me, and rightly so as I can see why she was so worried etc

Now she wants to cut alcohol nearly completely out of our lives. Obviously I can see massive benefits of it, but as most alcohol/pubs have been such a big part of my life I honestly think I'd struggle a lot, as pathetic as it sounds. Even the idea of telling people I'm stopping/not drinking much worries me

Is it easier than it sounds? Even if it doesn't fully materialise as giving up completely, I do want to stop for a few weeks.. something I have never really done before

Mate of mine has gone dry on health grounds. 3 years without any. Says he doesn't miss it all. Booze wasn't a problem for him or the trigger for his health issue, but the pharmaceuticals he has to take for something else don't interact well with booze. He was liked his beer too.

It's doable for sure. You might even find out who your mates are. There's a few I don't talk to now because they just acted like tools when I cut out booze for my mental health in the past. No, I'm not a lightweight, borong or a [Poor language removed]. Nor am I ruining your fun.

 

[COYBL25]

I went out for a work away day in London on Thursday, which was free drink all day. I was fairly drunk by the end, but manageable.

When I left it all hit me, I got really confused and couldn't remember where I was. Which obviously worried my gf loads. I don't know what happened, it was really weird. I sat down for 5 mins and then was fine again and managed to get the underground and train home ok

My gf is fuming at me, and rightly so as I can see why she was so worried etc

Now she wants to cut alcohol nearly completely out of our lives. Obviously I can see massive benefits of it, but as most alcohol/pubs have been such a big part of my life I honestly think I'd struggle a lot, as pathetic as it sounds. Even the idea of telling people I'm stopping/not drinking much worries me

Is it easier than it sounds? Even if it doesn't fully materialise as giving up completely, I do want to stop for a few weeks.. something I have never really done before

Don’t beat yourself up mate, it’s all part of the passage of life.

You’ll learn from this experience and more than likely it won’t happen again.

You haven’t got a problem and I think you’re partner is being a tad dramatic, with the packing in all together stuff.

It was a one off, treat it as such

 

[Rita_Poon]

I went out for a work away day in London on Thursday, which was free drink all day. I was fairly drunk by the end, but manageable.

When I left it all hit me, I got really confused and couldn't remember where I was. Which obviously worried my gf loads. I don't know what happened, it was really weird. I sat down for 5 mins and then was fine again and managed to get the underground and train home ok

My gf is fuming at me, and rightly so as I can see why she was so worried etc

Now she wants to cut alcohol nearly completely out of our lives. Obviously I can see massive benefits of it, but as most alcohol/pubs have been such a big part of my life I honestly think I'd struggle a lot, as pathetic as it sounds. Even the idea of telling people I'm stopping/not drinking much worries me

Is it easier than it sounds? Even if it doesn't fully materialise as giving up completely, I do want to stop for a few weeks.. something I have never really done before

The humidity + a little dehydration + a sunshine headache added to some booze is quite the combination, you sat down for five and collected yourself, we aren't used to prolonged heat and sun on this once fair isle, the dehydration angle is the winner. Just need a bit more practice, it's BBQ season, and a burger or two washed down with some lager is high living. (Fitness is also a factor, are you doing much keep fit to stay in shape?)
Myself under the microscope for a moment, a few beers is pretty much my last remaining treat, it's to early in the game to call it all a day and rely on a daily dose of church and prayers before bedtime to see me through.

 

[Gwladysover]

I went out for a work away day in London on Thursday, which was free drink all day. I was fairly drunk by the end, but manageable.

When I left it all hit me, I got really confused and couldn't remember where I was. Which obviously worried my gf loads. I don't know what happened, it was really weird. I sat down for 5 mins and then was fine again and managed to get the underground and train home ok

My gf is fuming at me, and rightly so as I can see why she was so worried etc

Now she wants to cut alcohol nearly completely out of our lives. Obviously I can see massive benefits of it, but as most alcohol/pubs have been such a big part of my life I honestly think I'd struggle a lot, as pathetic as it sounds. Even the idea of telling people I'm stopping/not drinking much worries me

Is it easier than it sounds? Even if it doesn't fully materialise as giving up completely, I do want to stop for a few weeks.. something I have never really done before

Probably anxiety and panic contributed to you not being able to remember where you were especially if you were away from familiar surroundings. On a personal level I had to give up drinking about ten years ago, over the years my alcohol consumption had gone down so I was more of a social drinker therefore I didn’t find it difficult. I have been tempted but the thought of a resulting headache is enough to put me off. Stopping for a few weeks is a good idea though if only to calm your girlfriend’s worries. All the best.

 

[Blue Piper]

I went out for a work away day in London on Thursday, which was free drink all day. I was fairly drunk by the end, but manageable.

When I left it all hit me, I got really confused and couldn't remember where I was. Which obviously worried my gf loads. I don't know what happened, it was really weird. I sat down for 5 mins and then was fine again and managed to get the underground and train home ok

My gf is fuming at me, and rightly so as I can see why she was so worried etc

Now she wants to cut alcohol nearly completely out of our lives. Obviously I can see massive benefits of it, but as most alcohol/pubs have been such a big part of my life I honestly think I'd struggle a lot, as pathetic as it sounds. Even the idea of telling people I'm stopping/not drinking much worries me

Is it easier than it sounds? Even if it doesn't fully materialise as giving up completely, I do want to stop for a few weeks.. something I have never really done before

Unfortunately we have managed to normalise the effects of alcohol. The shakes, blackouts, hangovers and disorientation are all normalized or trivialized. If cornflakes or Bovril were causing these symptoms then we'd bin them, no questions asked. I think that your gf's reaction is a very healthy reaction to a very bad experience. If the shoe was on the other foot, what would your reaction be.

 

[coollino]

Thanks all, I think we've kind of come to an agreement where its until the holiday, which is 2 weeks or so, so that's fine. I tend to drink 3 or 4 days in a week, but only tends to be a beer and a glass of wine at most so that should be easy enough and probably a good idea. I have wondered a few times recently if I have a drink for the sake of it, and that I don't always actually want it that much when I start having it

This is probably the most she has been worried about me, and rightly so, I feel really bad about it but hopefully I can just use it as a learning curve and start to take a bit more responsibility

 

[Billy Dean]

Thanks all, I think we've kind of come to an agreement where its until the holiday, which is 2 weeks or so, so that's fine. I tend to drink 3 or 4 days in a week, but only tends to be a beer and a glass of wine at most so that should be easy enough and probably a good idea. I have wondered a few times recently if I have a drink for the sake of it, and that I don't always actually want it that much when I start having it

This is probably the most she has been worried about me, and rightly so, I feel really bad about it but hopefully I can just use it as a learning curve and start to take a bit more responsibility

I've been a lot more selective recently about when I drink on nights out and often I prefer the nights when I don't drink anything. I feel more present with the people I'm with and more in tune with what's going on around me, and obviously fresher the next day. What I'm doing at the moment is if I have an engagement where I think there's a chance that it might turn into a large bender I make up a reason why I can't drink that night, like an early appointment the following day or something like that.

Like others have said I wouldn't worry too much about what actually happened. Sounds like a bit of disorientation from being drunk plus being in a less familiar place, plus the fresh air hitting you.

 

[YoboCopter]

What you desribe i do that sober sometimes never mind drunk

Wouldnt worry at all its a one off and just chill till your holidays and see you feel then about drinking etc

 

[jackyboy]

You've got to trust your mates, if they are saying you were fine (but blattered) then you were most likely fine. Remember, mates love give each other a hard time when they do something, you would have heard about it.

And, remember, what's done is done, there isn't any changing anything in the past. I still deal with replaying scenarios in my head and getting quasi panic attacks but they are just what you describe them as: intrusive thoughts.

The mind is a seriously complicated and messed up thing. It can fabricate memories out of nowhere that you know are 100% real. Try to look at these situations and think about them in a joking/stupid way. "Yeah, IMAGINE I did that! lolz". Making fun of the intrusive thoughts is something that I have found to work personally.

Your are right tho, this is a fantastic thread.

Sorry mate should have responded earlier! Thanks so much for taking the time to reply.

I found myself constantly seeking reassurance from them despite them all confirming that I'd been completely fine. Then even when they did I was trying to come up with things that "might have happened" etc.

I'm just trying to focus on not taking them seriously as you said as that seems to have helped so far for sure. It's when I dwell on them that my thought process tends to spiral

 

[HalfTimeSayers]

Thanks all, I think we've kind of come to an agreement where its until the holiday, which is 2 weeks or so, so that's fine. I tend to drink 3 or 4 days in a week, but only tends to be a beer and a glass of wine at most so that should be easy enough and probably a good idea. I have wondered a few times recently if I have a drink for the sake of it, and that I don't always actually want it that much when I start having it

This is probably the most she has been worried about me, and rightly so, I feel really bad about it but hopefully I can just use it as a learning curve and start to take a bit more responsibility

People have answered brilliantly with experiences so not much to say mate. But a couple of years ago I went 6 months without anything in an attempt to sort out some health issues (mad mixture of mental health, food intolerances blah blah), and after about 3 months on a night at the pub all my mates were asking is it hard, do you miss it, do you feel different. Aside from the health issues I felt great, had been sleeping better, waking earlier with more energy compared to those nights where you just have a few at home. Blatantly obvious that they were all intrigued and a bit jealous, especially after spending a fortune on crap beer they didn’t really need as it wasn’t a big night out.

I think bar those that really struggle, these days I think everyone looks at the odd drink in front of them and thinks “I just didn’t need that/how pointless that one was.” So just from that point of view, just wanted to say that anyone that does give you stick is probably just doubtful they could do it.

For reference I do drink again at home and out, but have a way way clearer view of which ones are pointless and easily give them a miss. So a few weeks off might at least give the same perspective.

All the best.

 

[blulouie]

I went out for a work away day in London on Thursday, which was free drink all day. I was fairly drunk by the end, but manageable.

When I left it all hit me, I got really confused and couldn't remember where I was. Which obviously worried my gf loads. I don't know what happened, it was really weird. I sat down for 5 mins and then was fine again and managed to get the underground and train home ok

My gf is fuming at me, and rightly so as I can see why she was so worried etc

Now she wants to cut alcohol nearly completely out of our lives. Obviously I can see massive benefits of it, but as most alcohol/pubs have been such a big part of my life I honestly think I'd struggle a lot, as pathetic as it sounds. Even the idea of telling people I'm stopping/not drinking much worries me

Is it easier than it sounds? Even if it doesn't fully materialise as giving up completely, I do want to stop for a few weeks.. something I have never really done before

As others have said I don't mean to make light of this but it sounds like your trip to London & all the free booze was a one off.
Believe me we've all done it , we've all had the guilt/ mad thoughts after such a day.
I work 4 on 4 off and really enjoy a drink on my time off , never when I'm in work the next day.

Every now and then I've had such an experience especially Xmas works night out , Holiday excess plus the odd footie all day session.
Feel terrible after them , but come to terms with it as its just part of my life.

Anyway hope you & your GF are OK going forward.

 

[EFCPaul]

Not feeling particulary good.

I've been in a job for almost 2 months and it was going well. Was getting the full hang of everything (lots of different daily tasks), was making a few friendly acquaintances, was impressing my superiors.

Wednesday morning we all got pulled into the office and told that there's going to be redundancies. Of course that means those on probation still like me will gone shortly. Really P'd off, what idiot okays a recruitment drive then barely weeks later realises the company can't afford it.

Got close with another new starter, we've gone on a few dates but it doesn't feel like it's going to go anywhere. She's a bit too highly-strung for even me (can be go go from really nice to rather rude for no reason) and I sense she more just wants a friend to vent too.

Taking my medicine but it doesn't feel as if it's been working much. The days are getting harder and harder it feels like. Anyone else felt like this recently who can offer advice?

 

[COYBL25]

Not feeling particulary good.

I've been in a job for almost 2 months and it was going well. Was getting the full hang of everything (lots of different daily tasks), was making a few friendly acquaintances, was impressing my superiors.

Wednesday morning we all got pulled into the office and told that there's going to be redundancies. Of course that means those on probation still like me will gone shortly. Really P'd off, what idiot okays a recruitment drive then barely weeks later realises the company can't afford it.

Got close with another new starter, we've gone on a few dates but it doesn't feel like it's going to go anywhere. She's a bit too highly-strung for even me (can be go go from really nice to rather rude for no reason) and I sense she more just wants a friend to vent too.

Taking my medicine but it doesn't feel as if it's been working much. The days are getting harder and harder it feels like. Anyone else felt like this recently who can offer advice?

How long have you got, before you get made redundant - use that time to look and go for other jobs.

At least you know they have no loyalty to you, so shouldn’t feel bad about going for other jobs / interviews.

The world seems to be strange place financially at the mo mate. Some places are thriving, despite everyone being skint and others are really struggling.

 

[David09]

Not feeling particulary good.

I've been in a job for almost 2 months and it was going well. Was getting the full hang of everything (lots of different daily tasks), was making a few friendly acquaintances, was impressing my superiors.

Wednesday morning we all got pulled into the office and told that there's going to be redundancies. Of course that means those on probation still like me will gone shortly. Really P'd off, what idiot okays a recruitment drive then barely weeks later realises the company can't afford it.

Got close with another new starter, we've gone on a few dates but it doesn't feel like it's going to go anywhere. She's a bit too highly-strung for even me (can be go go from really nice to rather rude for no reason) and I sense she more just wants a friend to vent too.

Taking my medicine but it doesn't feel as if it's been working much. The days are getting harder and harder it feels like. Anyone else felt like this recently who can offer advice?

Keep your chin up mate and get looking for a new job quickly. There seems to be plenty of work out there at the moment.

Take the confidence and experience you have gained from the past 2 months of work with you and try and get a couple of interviews arranged ASAP.