Install the app
How to install the app on iOS

Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.

Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.

Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

andy4efc said:
So a couple of weeks if not 3/4/5 weeks, a stroke team nurse in preston confirmed me to that I actually had a stroke, a small one, but a stroke none the less and not a T.I.A or a mini-stroke. Part of the langauge center. I'm speaking pretty much as i was before, i feel fine barring a couple of headaches every now and then. Fatigue can sometimes hit but not on the level of the 4/5 days after it happened.

Anyway, not a day goes by where I dont think about it and how it's effecting me, scared of it just happening again randomly. When it happened I had the busiest week.

Tuesday, Football training
Wednesday - Everton v Bolton
Thursday - Football 7aside
Friday - Work night out in Manchester, i dont drink really but got hammered on that night
Sat - Stoke v Everton.
Monday - stroke occured.

I haven't yet been told because they haven't figured out why it happened yet. I am comvinced it was the pure busyness of that week with a cominbation of stress and the drink on the friday. Anyway, to the point of the post, I've been very, very nervous about putting myself into stressful situations, I've been less social, I dont always go the pub after footy anyway but I haven't been once since it happened. I have been VERY nervous about going to Goodison. It's a stressful event and I've let my nephew go so far this season. My brother cant go tomorrow, so it's up to me to take my dad and so I pretty much have to go.

Work haven't been remotely arsed, refused to allow me to work from home while I couldn't legally drive and couldn't get to the office (even tho others are still allowed to work from home). They've not made any adjustments, i had a 1-2-1 with a manager who basically just blamed me for something that"went wrong" over summer. I'm obviously looking to move on but massively struggling to find an exit door.

Been on my mind all week. Scared of that stress that Everton puts on me (and most of us!) having a really effect with my cognitive ability again.
Click to expand...

Hi mate,

I`m no expert, but I`m pretty sure what you work are doing isn`t legal, as they have a duty of care towards you as an employee.

Have you spoken to your reps (if you have any ? )

@anjelikaferrett can you advise ?
 
COYBL25 said:
Hi mate,

I`m no expert, but I`m pretty sure what you work are doing isn`t legal, as they have a duty of care towards you as an employee.

Have you spoken to your reps (if you have any ? )

@anjelikaferrett can you advise ?
Click to expand...
I am back in work now. I returned to work too quickly (only in hindisght did i think that). But I couldnt drive. I brought this up a week or two ago as to regards to breaking the Equality act. They said they had broken my job role into 4 categories and determined that 3 of them wouldn't be feasible to do at home.

Which is aboslute nonsense. we have 6/7 office staff and they could have easily answered the phone and logged equipment. There isn't a union. I am trying to get out but so far no luck. have been here for six years and a key cog in the machine. I have such a wide skillset and do some much in so many areas of the company.

Bringing any action via someone is only going to have a negative effect. All I wanted is for those four holidays i had to use to be available again but hey ho.

Myself i feel okay, some side affects but nothing major, just its in my head that I've had a stroke, and that i think every day what if etc.
 
Amokachi1995 said:
There was a traumatic event at my workplace this week. Really bad and i was proximate to it. I'm a leader and had to talk to my team about it. I broke down a bit. Not hugely but more than I wanted to. I got loads of nice messages from the team but it made me feel weak.
Click to expand...
So sorry to hear about this. I hope you and your team are OK. Don't feel weak, showig emotion and empathy is a sign that you care. Your team will appreciate it.
 

Gwladysover said:
I’ve just posted this in the Messy Mascot thread, thought I’d post it here too.
Click to expand...


That is a very poignant video. Fella from the pub committed suicide the other week, nice bloke, and no one, (obvs) had a clue.

My half pence on this, (male depression/MH), is from my own experience. I knew that I was struggling in the aftermath of my beloved Nikki going to heaven, she had issues several years before. And I was brutally honest with friends and family when the "how are tricks Roydo?" question came up.

"Not great mate. Feel shabite at times, but I know why. Think of the brain as a broken leg, and work back from that".

Over a short time, friends and family accept it for what it is. A health issue. So they now treat me as Mark, with a broken leg, and if I dont fancy a walk or a pint or a meal for no apparent reason, they get it.

And if I suggest a walk or a pint or a meal, they beam. "Feeling better Mark?" "Feeling good today".

Hope that may help someone in here.
 
WMHD_shareable_graphic_2023_%28Twitter_Post%29.png
 
It's been a rough few days.

Started in a new role but so far I haven't liked it. Mostly just down to me not getting much training these first few days. Basically have been left to sit around and scratch my bum for 90% of time because I haven't been trained to do anything yet and managers/team leaders have literally not been physically around to show me anything. Disappointed by that to be honest.

Going to give it a bit longer but I'm a bit down about it truth to be told. Feels like I'm staring at a black hole or something.
 
Last edited:

EFCPaul said:
It's been a rough few days.

Started in a new role but so far I haven't liked it. Mostly just down to me not getting much training these first few days. Basically have been left to sit around and scratch my bum for 90% of time because I haven't been trained to do anything yet and managers/team leaders have literally not been physically around to show me anything. Disappointed by that to be honest.

Going to give it a bit longer but I'm a bit down about it truth to be told. Feels like I'm staring at a black hole or something.
Click to expand...
They'll get to you, it's just a bit of poor timing, when they get expectation from above for a fully working team they'll swarm all over you. Enjoy the calm before the storm. ;)
 
roydo said:
That is a very poignant video. Fella from the pub committed suicide the other week, nice bloke, and no one, (obvs) had a clue.

My half pence on this, (male depression/MH), is from my own experience. I knew that I was struggling in the aftermath of my beloved Nikki going to heaven, she had issues several years before. And I was brutally honest with friends and family when the "how are tricks Roydo?" question came up.

"Not great mate. Feel shabite at times, but I know why. Think of the brain as a broken leg, and work back from that".

Over a short time, friends and family accept it for what it is. A health issue. So they now treat me as Mark, with a broken leg, and if I dont fancy a walk or a pint or a meal for no apparent reason, they get it.

And if I suggest a walk or a pint or a meal, they beam. "Feeling better Mark?" "Feeling good today".

Hope that may help someone in here.
Click to expand...
Yes sometimes you think you know friends and family very well then something happens and you regret that you never really knew them at all and the trouble behind their suffering that they hid from you, talk, just talk then talk some more, God, just open up, you’ll have at least one friend who will listen.

That’s why this thread is so very good and helpful.
 
Recall one of my students asking " how do you know someone is mentally unwell? ". I said there are a number of ways. The first one I said is how they look, poor personal hygiene, how they sit. A physical look at them really can give you clues. You're unlikely to attend to personal hygiene if you're contemplating suicide. This video is very very basic but so so accurate. Its a wonderful video. Please please be pro active in asking about a person's well being. Words really do matter. I will however leave a little tip for people if they are anxious about how to approach someone, or what to say. Of course there is txts but they sometimes get ignored or missed. I find writing something down on a piece of paper and giving it to them. No words are needed. For example

" you look as though you are struggling mentally. I don't know, I'm guessing but I want to help. Here's my number, contact details. Please call because I care about you and wang to help if I can. I'm here for you "

Let them think about it but I promise it will touch them, and that my friends when you feel no one cares, is priceless. Take care all.
 

Welcome to GrandOldTeam

Get involved. Registration is simple and free.

Register
Back
Top