Brendan to suffer is to go through turmoil. Anguish turmoil. Its not best to suffer fella. You as a person are better than just " accepting " anguish. By not asking or seeking support whilst struggling not only deprives you of a bit of happiness, it deprives others. Am I saying you're selfish? , absolutely not. What I am saying is people like you who experience mental anguish, have a lot to offer people, have a lot to give. I subscribe to and always have, the thought that helping others is great for our own self esteem and mental health. Seing that you've helped someone, got through a terrible phase in their life, can be very self affirming. I speak from experience. The " kick " I get when people acknowledge and are so grateful for helping them is fantastic. Your hard on yourself Brendan but I suggest harshly so. The bad patches you go through are just that, patches. You can recover and find that contentment.and share you knowledge and experience with others. Please change your mindset - by asking for and seeking help - I assure you, it's not best to suffer. At all. Good luck in you're endeavours and recovery. Your entitled to at least seek out happiness. When happiness knocks on your door, invite it in fella and give it a chair. Good luck bud.
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Cameron Manning
Player Valuation: £35m
Repeating myself here but this thread is one place to come and reveal your troubles and woes, most definitely if life is getting on top of you, so thanks to all who read these posts and try and help those who are troubled and a big thank you to Groucho who started the thread after the death of one of our own, Gary Speed, all those years ago.
Diogenes the Cynic
Player Valuation: £40m
I've decided to change my job.
I'm running a health team where I have been ground down in the constant demand for KPIs, stats, endless meetings and deadlines and little patient contact.
I feel like I never leave work and my anxiety is through the roof.
Made the decision to step back from management and feel like such a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
My physical health was suffering as well as my mental. I finish work and just want to go to bed, have no energy for friends or family.
With a baby on the way in few months I didn't think it was fair, a baby needs a Dad who is present and who has energy for them.
I've increased my meds which has helped and I feel like I have control over my life again.
Stress is an absolute killer. I didn't even realise what a toll it had taken on me until I took a step back and realised I had become a completely different person.
I'm much more optimistic and feeling positive for the future now which is amazing considering I've spent a large amount of time fantasising about if I wasn't here anymore.
If anyone feels in a similar position, just know things can change. Just try and hang on in there.
I'm running a health team where I have been ground down in the constant demand for KPIs, stats, endless meetings and deadlines and little patient contact.
I feel like I never leave work and my anxiety is through the roof.
Made the decision to step back from management and feel like such a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
My physical health was suffering as well as my mental. I finish work and just want to go to bed, have no energy for friends or family.
With a baby on the way in few months I didn't think it was fair, a baby needs a Dad who is present and who has energy for them.
I've increased my meds which has helped and I feel like I have control over my life again.
Stress is an absolute killer. I didn't even realise what a toll it had taken on me until I took a step back and realised I had become a completely different person.
I'm much more optimistic and feeling positive for the future now which is amazing considering I've spent a large amount of time fantasising about if I wasn't here anymore.
If anyone feels in a similar position, just know things can change. Just try and hang on in there.
Rita_Poon
Player Valuation: £90m
Good news the job change.
Good work getting out from under the colossal weight.
Fair due recognising the anxiety.
Good luck with the baby.
Stress is indeed merciless, fecking it off is wise.
fantasising is not the most positive, when things have got to there, it's time to get some talking therapy, dark doors lead to darker places.
on phone currently and can't apply myself properly. good on you for stopping the cycle of pain.
Diogenes the Cynic
Player Valuation: £40m
Indeed mate.
I've been in psychotherapy for a couple of years now for trauma and anxiety etc and although it's hard to see immediate benefits it lets you know yourself better and see things from another perspective.
It has helped me to see that the way I've thought in the past, the things that have happened to me are not all my fault, not because I'm a bad person. Sometimes you're a product of your environment and understanding that is the first step to being kind and forgiving yourself.
Wish you all the very best mate …. And having a baby is a wonderful time of life for you to fully embrace and enjoy x
There's reams of evidence especially which has or
There's reams of evidence especially in the far East - Japan - that working too hard and stressing about their position is both detrimental for the individual as well as the Employer. People are less productive and the quality of the work also suffers. The costs to their mental health is well documented. Less hours, a happy contented workforce is something ALL Employers should be very aware of. The evidence is really overwhelming.
If one puts it is really stark reality it's very thought provoking. A not too unrealistic hyperthetical scenario will go something like this. " John is lying in the Hospital bed, having just started to recover from a stress induced heart attack. John works too hard, is under appreciated and the fruits of his Labour goes to his Employer and HMRC. He's not seeing his kids, relationship with his wife is fractured. He's in reflective mood, muttering under his breath " [Poor language removed] me I nearly died and for what. An unappreciative Employer. Do we need to work and provide for our families? Absolutely, but at what cost. It's surely incumbent in us all to take stock and prioritise our mental health. People will say Spotty yes yes we get it. But I make no apologies for telling people as often as I can, there is nothing - absolutely nothing - more important than our mental health.
Cameron Manning
Player Valuation: £35m
Very good advice there Vera,stress is a terrible burden especially if brought on by accepting the burden of dealing with problems on your own, you should have designated some of the problems to the rest of your team. Seems to me you are a very caring person who really cares about the people under your care,your nature has piled the stress attached to your position day by day, you have relieved the pressure yourself so carry on like that, you will still care about people but have realise, quite rightly, that your family is number one.
I’m glad that you feel better in yourself, good luck in the future and I hope you and wife will enjoy life together better,I absolutely know the new baby will bring you both great happiness, best wishes to all of you.
Gwladysover
Player Valuation: £35m
Wishing you all the best for the future and safe arrival of your little one.
Clint Planet
Utter Cad.
That's so great to hear.
Much of it sounds painfully familiar to me. My mental and physical well-being was taking a pounding a few years back - really dark thoughts and wondering if I'd ever get to see that pension, if you know what I mean - but was lucky enough to be in a position to take early retirement. I'm still working through the aftereffects, if I'm honest.
I realise that many people just don't have the escape route that I was able to take and that economic hardship and wage-slavery are an absolutely real thing in most people's lives, but if you can possibly step back just a bit then, as you've found, the benefits are significant. Before I took early retirement, I was lucky enough to go to four days a week for a year and I instantly felt much, much less stressed and optimistic.
peteblue
Welcome back Wayne
brilliant…..
Good luck with the new job and congratulations on the baby news.
The very best of luck in your new job, I hope you find it rewarding and enriching.
Congratulations with regards to your baby news this will only bring joy to your future.
You have worked and strived brilliantly to come through everything and your a testimony as to how things can change for the better in a relatively short period of time.
Onwards and upwards mate.
Got lump in my throat. Listening to Dire Straights " Brothers in Arms " , thinking about Ukrain Russia Israel and the Gaza Strip and can't help thinking we aren't doing a very good job of looking after one another. Literally killing each other over a strip of land. As the lyrics say " we're fools to make war on our brothers in arms ". Will we ever learn.?
( Apologies for the downbeat post )
( Apologies for the downbeat post )
Gwladysover
Player Valuation: £35m
Exactly this. No need for apologies by the way.