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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

coollino said:
Yeah I know I am overthinking it, but I don't really know why I am (which is obviously overthinking). I should just stop thinking about it and get over it. I have also been very bored over the last few days
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Trying to stop thinking about something means you're actively having to think about it to try and have it stop. It won't succeed. Again, just my take on such matters.

Accept it as simply a process going on in a part of your brain. Hopefully it will subside in time, generally, I find, when the next problem takes its place. 🙄
 
coollino said:
Yeah I know I am overthinking it, but I don't really know why I am (which is obviously overthinking). I should just stop thinking about it and get over it. I have also been very bored over the last few days
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Thinking with your tallywacker my boy.

I always find that a wee tug followed by a round of meditation can enable you to regain composure and get back to thinking with a clear mind.

Good luck 👍
 
I don't think that a mental health thread is the right place to be discussing whether I should tell me bird that I looked at another woman. To me, that's more alehouse type stuff. I wouldn't like to see this thread derailed by more trivial type stuff.
 
Blue Piper said:
I don't think that a mental health thread is the right place to be discussing whether I should tell me bird that I looked at another woman. To me, that's more alehouse type stuff. I wouldn't like to see this thread derailed by more trivial type stuff.
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It can be mate, as it ties in with domestic problems that the poster was having with his missus a few months back, that was wrecking his head.
 

coollino said:
I'm struggling more with this than I expected tbh. I've felt so distant from everything in the last few days.

I keep thinking things about a fresh start and things, which I really shouldn't be doing. She pretty much looks like my girlfriend but if she was from Romania, and not Portugal which isn't helping. the fact I'm even thinking this makes me feel ill too

I think the fact she was so nice about it once I told her didn't help in a way, I found out she was crying later in the night too
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You’ve shown good instincts throughout this so far mate. It’s naturally for the “what if?” thoughts to creep in but I’d credit you with enough common sense to know the old saying about the grass not always being greener.

If this situation is making you rethink your relationship, then I’d suggest there are issues that need addressing quite aside from what, if anything ever happens with work lady.

Assuming you’ll have time away from work over Chrimbo, just take a few deep breaths and quiet your head down. Don’t go mad on the booze and enjoy the time with family.
 
Brett Angell Delight said:
You’ve shown good instincts throughout this so far mate. It’s naturally for the “what if?” thoughts to creep in but I’d credit you with enough common sense to know the old saying about the grass not always being greener.

If this situation is making you rethink your relationship, then I’d suggest there are issues that need addressing quite aside from what, if anything ever happens with work lady.

Assuming you’ll have time away from work over Chrimbo, just take a few deep breaths and quiet your head down. Don’t go mad on the booze and enjoy the time with family.
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thanks for the reply

Yeah, it's not really making me rethink my relationship per se i guess, Just a bit more of a freer life, i hate the idea of getting older, being grown up and being stuck in the same routine as 99% of people, but i guess thats just life and that would probably eventually happen with anyone anyway

i saw her yesterday, just bumped into her, and she looked so embarrassed bless her - it was pretty awkward but hopefully the break will sort it out as i genuinely thought we got on as just friends. it must have been/be awful for her really as she must have genuinely thought it was the right thing to do. maybe i should talk about my private life at work a bit, who knows

I remember when she first started years ago, someone make a joke about how we'd be a good couple. I didn't care for it at all at the time but i did think after that she is probably the only person i ever worked who i could envisage me not brushing it off instantly if it happened - and then it did 5 years or so later lol

i do feel i am being a bit selfish about this, which is also getting to me. realistically, it is worse/potentially worse for her and my gf. i'm sure the distraction of Christmas will end it all
 

coollino said:
thanks for the reply

Yeah, it's not really making me rethink my relationship per se i guess, Just a bit more of a freer life, i hate the idea of getting older, being grown up and being stuck in the same routine as 99% of people, but i guess thats just life and that would probably eventually happen with anyone anyway

i saw her yesterday, just bumped into her, and she looked so embarrassed bless her - it was pretty awkward but hopefully the break will sort it out as i genuinely thought we got on as just friends. it must have been/be awful for her really as she must have genuinely thought it was the right thing to do. maybe i should talk about my private life at work a bit, who knows

I remember when she first started years ago, someone make a joke about how we'd be a good couple. I didn't care for it at all at the time but i did think after that she is probably the only person i ever worked who i could envisage me not brushing it off instantly if it happened - and then it did 5 years or so later lol

i do feel i am being a bit selfish about this, which is also getting to me. realistically, it is worse/potentially worse for her and my gf. i'm sure the distraction of Christmas will end it all
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Over the years I`ve worked with so many men, who`ve left their partners and kids, for someone in work, who`s turned their head.

Both regular lads and bosses ( sometimes they`re the worse, as power is attractive )

I can only think of one of them, where it worked out, didn`t cripple them financially and didn`t cause long standing problems with their ex and access to their kids.

The moment you have a kid mate, it stops being about you and is all about them.

As my mate who is a specialist divorce Barrister always says “ messed up parents, end up with messed up kids, who go onto to become messed up adults ".
 
COYBL25 said:
Over the years I`ve worked with so many men, who`ve left their partners and kids, for someone in work, who`s turned their head.

Both regular lads and bosses ( sometimes they`re the worse, as power is attractive )

I can only think of one of them, where it worked out, didn`t cripple them financially and didn`t cause long standing problems with their ex and access to their kids.

The moment you have a kid mate, it stops being about you and is all about them.

As my mate who is a specialist divorce Barrister always says “ messed up parents, end up with messed up kids, who go onto to become messed up adults ".
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of course - leaving would be insane and hasn't crossed my mind. probably just the 'what if' thing, which is obviously just a ridiculous mental thing which has no benefit

i guess it was just so out of the blue, it really knocked me for six. i was speechless, if it was someone who constantly tried to flirt with me or something, it would have been out my mind within minutes

i kind of blame myself for being more open about my life previously. at 35ish, you probably assume a lot of people without a ring are single....whereas i've probably been with my gf longer than those that are married
 
Pottsie said:
I lost my dear son Robert 3 years ago --- he took his own life --- had issues with drugs --- but we worked through all of that.
He lived for the gym and his workouts --- when Covid kicked in --- and banned gyms --- he went into meltdown .
He had a really awful chest complaint ---- coughing etc ---- but the gym alleviated it for Robert.
When they shut all the gyms he spiralled into deep depression ----- a beautiful looking young man ----- loved his bowls --- and the ladies ---- left me a message.
I,m sorry Dad ----- I,ve had enough ---- X
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💙💙💙 No words x
 
shackattack said:
Cheers, I believe in the inherent goodness of people and this time of year can be a bleak one for some people. I don't contribute as much as I'd like to on here but this is the thread that is easily the most supportive I have seen. There are some great contributors to it and it's testimony that there are some wonderful people who will go out of their way to help others
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Same here. Both of your posts are so true.
 

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