Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[efcforever]

Very similar.

I will create mad scenarios in my head. A normal person would dismiss the situations as ridiculous, were as I will make myself sick worrying about it.

I just wish I could have a break from my own head. It's wearing me down.

The thought of living like this for the rest of my life is too much.

You've just summed up how I've been feeling. I am to scared that I will have this anxiety forever. I think counselling will help me. I've tried it twice before but I didn't take to the counsellors. Had my first session with a different counsellor and it went well. Just got to keep going back for help I guess.

 

[Woolly Blue]

Very similar.

I will create mad scenarios in my head. A normal person would dismiss the situations as ridiculous, were as I will make myself sick worrying about it.

I just wish I could have a break from my own head. It's wearing me down.

The thought of living like this for the rest of my life is too much.

Mate, I can't promise you it'll get better, but it probably will, and anyone that's read your posts on here will know that you're a good guy.
Hopefully you'll get an appointment soon and find a way forward.

 

[GwladysBlue]

You've just summed up how I've been feeling. I am to scared that I will have this anxiety forever. I think counselling will help me. I've tried it twice before but I didn't take to the counsellors. Had my first session with a different counsellor and it went well. Just got to keep going back for help I guess.

That's a good step, mate.

This will be my third time in counselling, too.

I feel like I'd be better in a group counselling session instead of one on one.

I do get some comfort from the fact that there are others who know the way I'm thinking.

My worry is that I'm a lost cause. I've tried tablets and I've tried counselling and here I am, still fretting.

 

[GwladysBlue]

Mate, I can't promise you it'll get better, but it probably will, and anyone that's read your posts on here will know that you're a good guy.
Hopefully you'll get an appointment soon and find a way forward.

Thanks mate.

Hopefully things do change, but I've been like this since the age of 12.

I really do miss the days before that of just being care free. I used to be a really happy kid. Can't believe I've grown up to end up like this.

 

[Woolly Blue]

Thanks mate.

Hopefully things do change, but I've been like this since the age of 12.

I really do miss the days before that of just being care free. I used to be a really happy kid. Can't believe I've grown up to end up like this.

I think I've said this to you before, but it's probably worth repeating.

A lad I worked out, who I know fairly well always knew he was gay, but he couldn't come to terms with it so married the girl he'd been going out with for a while. A year or two later she was pregnant and he was a proud father. Couple of years down the line he met a bloke he really loved and came out. At the time, a lot of heartache was caused, but he's happy as Larry now, is still a proud father and his ex-wife has moved on and found someone else.

Like I said in my last post, no-one can promise it'll all work out for you, but lots of other people have been in similar positions and it's come right for them, so there's still time for you to find a bit of peace.

 

[efcforever]

That's a good step, mate.

This will be my third time in counselling, too.

I feel like I'd be better in a group counselling session instead of one on one.

I do get some comfort from the fact that there are others who know the way I'm thinking.

My worry is that I'm a lost cause. I've tried tablets and I've tried counselling and here I am, still fretting.

I feel the same but I think the anxiety distorts your thought process. It has to be one of the symptoms of the condition. I've had all the tablets from the doctor as well.

Get your appointment and keep going back to the doctor if things don't start to improve.

 

[efcforever]

Still struggling with over-thinking and getting extremely hung up on things I can't help. It's horrible, I'd give anything for a peaceful mind.

Got to and break the thought process somehow. Try doing something you enjoy that will take your mind off it. I get hung up on loads of stuff so I know how hard it is to clear your mind.

 

[GwladysBlue]

I think I've said this to you before, but it's probably worth repeating.

A lad I worked out, who I know fairly well always knew he was gay, but he couldn't come to terms with it so married the girl he'd been going out with for a while. A year or two later she was pregnant and he was a proud father. Couple of years down the line he met a bloke he really loved and came out. At the time, a lot of heartache was caused, but he's happy as Larry now, is still a proud father and his ex-wife has moved on and found someone else.

Like I said in my last post, no-one can promise it'll all work out for you, but lots of other people have been in similar positions and it's come right for them, so there's still time for you to find a bit of peace.

I just can't accept it. Whenever I've been with a man, and I haven't done it often, I'm disgusted in myself. I become suicidal. I (wrongly) see that way of life as seedy.

I'm so jealous of my mates and my cousins all getting married or having kids. It's got to the point that it depresses me being around them.

I don't feel like I'm as good as them.

The worst thing is that I've had a girlfriend and I know that I can't make it work.

 

[COYBL25]

I just can't accept it. Whenever I've been with a man, and I haven't done it often, I'm disgusted in myself. I become suicidal. I (wrongly) see that way of life as seedy.

I'm so jealous of my mates and my cousins all getting married or having kids. It's got to the point that it depresses me being around them.

I don't feel like I'm as good as them.

The worst thing is that I've had a girlfriend and I know that I can't make it work.

Hi mate, there are lot of gay / bi support groups that help support people who are struggling to come to terms with their sexuality.

You mention getting married and having kids like your mates and cousins ?.

There's a girl in my eldest lads year, who is adopted and has two " mummies ", who are married. They have a son they've adopted too and they've never hidden who they are or their family set up. Why should they ?

The world really has moved on mate. It may seem like a big deal to you, but it's really not a big deal to the rest of the world anymore.

 

[GwladysBlue]

Hi mate, there are lot of gay / bi support groups that help support people who are struggling to come to terms with their sexuality.

You mention getting married and having kids like your mates and cousins ?.

There's a girl in my eldest lads year, who is adopted and has two " mummies ", who are married. They have a son they've adopted too and they've never hidden who they are or their family set up. Why should they ?

The world really has moved on mate. It may seem like a big deal to you, but it's really not a big deal to the rest of the world anymore.

The thought of going to them places and sitting around others in the waiting room, etc, makes me feel uneasy.

There was a gay lad in my school who I bumped into in the gym. The day later he messaged me on Facebook saying that me and him should go together. It bothered me that much that I cancelled my membership and switched gyms.

It's not even like my mum and dad aren't supportive, they are. It's all me and what's in my head.

One of my Dad's workmates is a lesbian and she has had two kids via. a sperm donor with her partner. She was married to a man for ages.

I feel like lesbians get an easier time than what gay men do, though, that could be a completely ignorant view as lesbians 'coming out' isn't as well documented.

 

[COYBL25]

The thought of going to them places and sitting around others in the waiting room, etc, makes me feel uneasy.

There was a gay lad in my school who I bumped into in the gym. The day later he messaged me on Facebook saying that me and him should go together. It bothered me that much that I cancelled my membership and switched gyms.

It's not even like my mum and dad aren't supportive, they are. It's all me and what's in my head.

One of my Dad's workmates is a lesbian and she has had two kids via. a sperm donor with her partner. She was married to a man for ages.

I feel like lesbians get an easier time than what gay men do, though, that could be a completely ignorant view as lesbians 'coming out' isn't as well documented.

" It's all me and what's in my head "

That's the key mate.

You need to go and see some kind of councillor to help you get over your own self perspective.

It doesn't have to be like this mate, maybe one of the gay lads on here could be of help. ?

@EvertonRhys any thoughts on a way forward / help to get over this ?

 

[EvertonRhys]

" It's all me and what's in my head "

That's the key mate.

You need to go and see some kind of councillor to help you get over your own self perspective.

It doesn't have to be like this mate, maybe one of the gay lads on here could be of help. ?

@EvertonRhys any thoughts on a way forward / help to get over this ?

It's really tough it is. It sounds to me @GwladysBlue (apologies if I'm way out) but that it's less the sexuality that's the issue but the way you're struggling with it. I'd say @COYBL25 is right. I'm doing some counselling with Mind at the moment, and they offer an intensive counselling course, which doesn't really stick to any one sort of method, but helps address the really deep seated beliefs and thought processes you're going through.

My issue is I don't have any sort of self-positive voice, and with regards to sexuality etc, I won't let myself get close to anyone whatsoever these days, out of fear. We're trying to establish that positive voice. You're right with what so re: tougher for guys to come out as gay. Just the other day I was shopping and noticed to girls loved up and walking around holding hands. There were no looks at them at all and somehow I still think there would be double-looks if it were two guys. Still though it's come on a lot.

I'd just say, PLEASE get some counselling though as you'll be shocked at what thought processes you've got going on that you're not even aware of. You can live a happy life no matter who you are attracted to, and there's no shame in any of it. As long as you're comfortable with yourself. You need a bit of help to get there though!

 

[GwladysBlue]

It's really tough it is. It sounds to me @GwladysBlue (apologies if I'm way out) but that it's less the sexuality that's the issue but the way you're struggling with it. I'd say @COYBL25 is right. I'm doing some counselling with Mind at the moment, and they offer an intensive counselling course, which doesn't really stick to any one sort of method, but helps address the really deep seated beliefs and thought processes you're going through.

My issue is I don't have any sort of self-positive voice, and with regards to sexuality etc, I won't let myself get close to anyone whatsoever these days, out of fear. We're trying to establish that positive voice. You're right with what so re: tougher for guys to come out as gay. Just the other day I was shopping and noticed to girls loved up and walking around holding hands. There were no looks at them at all and somehow I still think there would be double-looks if it were two guys. Still though it's come on a lot.

I'd just say, PLEASE get some counselling though as you'll be shocked at what thought processes you've got going on that you're not even aware of. You can live a happy life no matter who you are attracted to, and there's no shame in any of it. As long as you're comfortable with yourself. You need a bit of help to get there though!

How did you get counselling with Mind, mate?

I emailed them about it a few weeks ago and they never got back to me.

 

[EvertonRhys]

How did you get counselling with Mind, mate?

I emailed them about it a few weeks ago and they never got back to me.

Persistence I would say mate given how busy they are. Give them a call and they should email a referral form to you, once that's completed it can take a few months for a spot to come available. If you don't hear back get in touch again- trust me, it really is worth it! Make sure you contact your local Mind office. If that fails your GP should also be able to refer you but I'm not sure what the procedures would be like in your area for that.

 

[anjelikaferrett]

Hi mate. Doing great. Lots of positive developments this past month. Its been a long story. She again found lots of inner strength and this time took a rock solid stance at her home. Now the talks between the families have begun. I am actually gonna move to Australia soon as I got my immigration recently. So hopefully in a year or so when I find my feet there we're gonna tie the knot. She can practice her medicine in Australia as well, something she is really passionate about.

That's awesome. So happy for you both. x