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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

BiggyRat said:
Sorry folks, been absent from this thread for a while.

Just thought I'd update you all on how my Daughter is going. Some may recall she had some massive anxiety issues previously, but I'd like to share where she's at right now. A few weeks back she started at University. I have to be honest & admit I was dreading it. I was preparing myself for the possibility of 'the worst case scenario', but I couldn't have been any further from the truth. She's loving it!

The best part of all this for me is that whilst she sought professional help & got an excellent Psychiatrist on side, deciding her future path was all down to her. She was realistic about her abilities & looked at courses of interest to her that fell within an attainable mark. So, you can imagine how proud & relieved I was when she returned home from that first day beaming! She'd literally done it herself!

Now, I don't post this lightly, and by no means do I intend this as boasting or gloating, but when you are holding your child in your arms as she's having difficulty breathing through stress & anxiety...and wondering how much longer the Ambulance will be...then it's quite a stark contrast to how proud I was that day.

The point is, that she forged her own path, well within her own limitations and has come out the other side. Yes, she got professional support but they dotted the 'i's for her & helped her cross the 't's, to the point that she could take charge. I urge any of you reading this that it can be overcome. You can do it! But you don't have to do it alone....
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Glad to hear this resolution.

As a retired teacher I blame schools and ultimately the government. League tables have been the worst thing to happen to the education system in all time. It was obvious from the start. Govt puts pressure on schools to appear to perform so govt wins votes off parents. Schools initially resist such nonsense, so school performance was related to funding. Ofsted came in and made sure any school not doing well was punished with mounds of meaningless meetings and paperwork. He result was league tables created huge pressure on teachers who transmit that pressure to the kids.

Panic attacks were extremely rare when I started teaching 30 years ago. Today they are dreadfully common, and it is the conscientious ones desperate to do well that are most affected. They listen to the desperate pleas and threats from stressed teachers which are aimed not at them but at the disaffected and bone idle in the same class.

One of the many reasons I called it a day. Thanks to government and modern teachers who know no better, many schools are horrible, horrible places to be. Certainly no place to send kids!
 
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blue to the bone said:
Booked an appointment with my gp. Not until Friday but even Doin that was a big step.
Now my worry is work.. Its a new job but not one that pays great. Its very early starts and a lot of info to take on. I'm just not certain I could do it at the moment. I slept only about 3 hours last night. It isn't helping me with my problems
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Hang in there. New jobs are always hard at first with loads to learn. Good employers know this and make allowances and offer support.
 
Had to come home early from work, had a massive panic attack earlier on went into a trance like state. It's been building to he honest and it don't help that I've not had any medication for a few days.

Basically I'm having problems with that girl again. Now it's over something different. The way our department works is that if a person manages to process a certain amount of claims per day you get a bonus on top of your wage. If you manage 35 you get a tenner and if you go above that it's an extra £1 for every single one you manage.

Basically this girl has been managing 60 or 70 a day every day for weeks whilst me another kid are barely scraping 20 odd. I've kept thinking "something's up here cause that's not on". Turns out she's being going into the team leaders diary and helping herself to the work when it's first put on the system before even the team leader sees it. The cheek of that when you also consider that she's always bragging about how she works harder than everyone else has really bothered me. I brought it up in a private meeting with the team leader the other day and said me and the other lad have noticed what's going and we're not one bit happy and are feeling cheated. He said he'd keep an eye on it and make sure we're all getting given fair amounts. It happened again today though, I went in the leader's diary myself, saw what was in there to be given out and then left it. Checked again in 10 mins and it had gone (he wasn't even in the room). Looked I'm her diary and they were all in there.

That caused me to snap and lose my head completely. Nothing dramatic happened I just stopped working and as soon as he came back told him I had to leave because I was cracking up which I was. I wanted to just scream in the middle of the office or get up and just walk out without saying a word but I managed to wait for him to come back and explained I really had to go.

I've already requested a transfer to another team to get away from her, if they say no I'm resigning. Had enough of her arrogance and rudeness and being allowed to rub it in my face and get away scot-free.
 

EFCPaul said:
Had to come home early from work, had a massive panic attack earlier on went into a trance like state. It's been building to he honest and it don't help that I've not had any medication for a few days.

Basically I'm having problems with that girl again. Now it's over something different. The way our department works is that if a person manages to process a certain amount of claims per day you get a bonus on top of your wage. If you manage 35 you get a tenner and if you go above that it's an extra £1 for every single one you manage.

Basically this girl has been managing 60 or 70 a day every day for weeks whilst me another kid are barely scraping 20 odd. I've kept thinking "something's up here cause that's not on". Turns out she's being going into the team leaders diary and helping herself to the work when it's first put on the system before even the team leader sees it. The cheek of that when you also consider that she's always bragging about how she works harder than everyone else has really bothered me. I brought it up in a private meeting with the team leader the other day and said me and the other lad have noticed what's going and we're not one bit happy and are feeling cheated. He said he'd keep an eye on it and make sure we're all getting given fair amounts. It happened again today though, I went in the leader's diary myself, saw what was in there to be given out and then left it. Checked again in 10 mins and it had gone (he wasn't even in the room). Looked I'm her diary and they were all in there.

That caused me to snap and lose my head completely. Nothing dramatic happened I just stopped working and as soon as he came back told him I had to leave because I was cracking up which I was. I wanted to just scream in the middle of the office or get up and just walk out without saying a word but I managed to wait for him to come back and explained I really had to go.

I've already requested a transfer to another team to get away from her, if they say no I'm resigning. Had enough of her arrogance and rudeness and being allowed to rub it in my face and get away scot-free.
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We'll done for handling an incredibly difficult situation so well. I think most people would've blown their top.

Surely what she's doing is discipline worthy !!!!

She's going over his head for a start, by cherry picking the best jobs !!!!!!!!
 

EFCPaul said:
Had to come home early from work, had a massive panic attack earlier on went into a trance like state. It's been building to he honest and it don't help that I've not had any medication for a few days.

Basically I'm having problems with that girl again. Now it's over something different. The way our department works is that if a person manages to process a certain amount of claims per day you get a bonus on top of your wage. If you manage 35 you get a tenner and if you go above that it's an extra £1 for every single one you manage.

Basically this girl has been managing 60 or 70 a day every day for weeks whilst me another kid are barely scraping 20 odd. I've kept thinking "something's up here cause that's not on". Turns out she's being going into the team leaders diary and helping herself to the work when it's first put on the system before even the team leader sees it. The cheek of that when you also consider that she's always bragging about how she works harder than everyone else has really bothered me. I brought it up in a private meeting with the team leader the other day and said me and the other lad have noticed what's going and we're not one bit happy and are feeling cheated. He said he'd keep an eye on it and make sure we're all getting given fair amounts. It happened again today though, I went in the leader's diary myself, saw what was in there to be given out and then left it. Checked again in 10 mins and it had gone (he wasn't even in the room). Looked I'm her diary and they were all in there.

That caused me to snap and lose my head completely. Nothing dramatic happened I just stopped working and as soon as he came back told him I had to leave because I was cracking up which I was. I wanted to just scream in the middle of the office or get up and just walk out without saying a word but I managed to wait for him to come back and explained I really had to go.

I've already requested a transfer to another team to get away from her, if they say no I'm resigning. Had enough of her arrogance and rudeness and being allowed to rub it in my face and get away scot-free.
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Does your firm have a 'whistle blowing' policy? As @COYBL25 says, she'll be picking out the easiest work and leaving the awkward cases.
 
efcforever said:
Does your firm have a 'whistle blowing' policy? As @COYBL25 says, she'll be picking out the easiest work and leaving the awkward cases.
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She`s effectively making life easier and more profitable for herself at the expense of her colleagues.

That alone has the potential to cause mayhem amongst the team.

No way a manager is going to allow this to go on.
 
COYBL25 said:
She`s effectively making life easier and more profitable for herself at the expense of her colleagues.

That alone has the potential to cause mayhem amongst the team.

No way a manager is going to allow this to go on.
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He's her ex of 9 years and a bit out of his depth in his position anyway to be honest. I'm not holding my breath, I've seen her tell him to his face she will not do something he's told her to do. He walked away sheepishly.
 
EFCPaul said:
He's her ex of 9 years and a bit out of his depth in his position anyway to be honest. I'm not holding my breath, I've seen her tell him to his face she will not do something he's told her to do. He walked away sheepishly.
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So she`s really in charge ????

Which she suggests he`s aware that she`s cherry picking.

You can either do two things :

Whistle blow
or
Leave.

It`s never going to change whilst she`s calling the shots.
 

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