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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

EPSBLue said:
My dad is dying of cancer and withering away in front of me and my mother is in bits.
Just found out my brother is into drugs and gambling and he's at war with the family about it.
My best friend just cut me out of her life.
Drinking every night until I can sleep.
I'm on the edge of breaking down.....

The idea of counselling is never something I've considered, always been told to man up and deal with it but something is about to break.

Has anyone taken counselling and did it work?
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Mate, the same happened with my dad, over 20 years ago. Your use of the word withering bought me right back to those memories. It's horrible to watch, and horrible to go through, but you just have to be there and try to be strong for your mum.

Feel for you, I really do. You'll get through it better without the drink. Honest.

Don't know how old your brother is, but if he's old enough to know better, i'd let him go for the moment and keep your strength and focus for your ma and pa. What's more i'd tell him. It might bring him not focus a bit about priorities.

Keep going pal.
 
chrismpw said:
Mate, the same happened with my dad, over 20 years ago. Your use of the word withering bought me right back to those memories. It's horrible to watch, and horrible to go through, but you just have to be there and try to be strong for your mum.

You'll get through it better without the drink. Honest.

Don't know how old your brother is, but if he's old enough to know better, i'd let him go for the moment and keep your strength and focus for your ma and pa. What's more i'd tell him. It might bring him not focus S bit about priorities.

Keep going pal.
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Indeed. Just throws the body out of balance even more.
 
LydiateLee said:
The only thing is Facebook is the place where all the photos of my daughters are stored. I don't want to lose them but I don't want to go on Facebook anymore. It's just full of posers, fakes and filters.

The TOWIE/Love Island world we live in really is abhorrent.
Click to expand...

Same here. My parents have my daughter a couple of days a week and upload some great photos.

There's ways round it though. I am going to download all the pics to my phone/tablet.

Also I'll ask my dad to send me the pics through messenger or email so I don't have to go on facebook.
 
chrismpw said:
Mate, the same happened with my dad, over 20 years ago. Your use of the word withering bought me right back to those memories. It's horrible to watch, and horrible to go through, but you just have to be there and try to be strong for your mum.

Feel for you, I really do. You'll get through it better without the drink. Honest.

Don't know how old your brother is, but if he's old enough to know better, i'd let him go for the moment and keep your strength and focus for your ma and pa. What's more i'd tell him. It might bring him not focus a bit about priorities.

Keep going pal.
Click to expand...

Thanks, you are right, just have to keep on going and concentrate on my parents. There will be time afterwards for falling apart. Spent two hours with social services as they assessed him today. So sad to see simple things like using the phone are now beyond him. At least the social agreed that he needs home help for an hour a two a day.

I emailed a counsellor today which was a huge step, she emailed back saying she was fully booked up and couldn't help. Typical!! Honestly though, just posting my feelings on here kind of helps but I will try find someone else that has the time to see me.

I'll give the drinking a miss for a while, I'd hate to get a call from my mother and be over the limit thinking about it.

Cancer sucks.
 
EPSBLue said:
My dad is dying of cancer and withering away in front of me and my mother is in bits.
Just found out my brother is into drugs and gambling and he's at war with the family about it.
My best friend just cut me out of her life.
Drinking every night until I can sleep.
I'm on the edge of breaking down.....

The idea of counselling is never something I've considered, always been told to man up and deal with it but something is about to break.

Has anyone taken counselling and did it work?
Click to expand...

Get in contact with Talk Liverpool mate they do online, group or individual counseling.

https://www.talkliverpool.nhs.uk

Don't have to Man Up, just take yourself away for 10 mins, sit down and have a look.

And on the plus side, it has nothing to do with Everton which doesn't help at the moment!

All the best
 

EPSBLue said:
My dad is dying of cancer and withering away in front of me and my mother is in bits.
Just found out my brother is into drugs and gambling and he's at war with the family about it.
My best friend just cut me out of her life.
Drinking every night until I can sleep.
I'm on the edge of breaking down.....

The idea of counselling is never something I've considered, always been told to man up and deal with it but something is about to break.

Has anyone taken counselling and did it work?
Click to expand...

Hi mate, does your dad have a Mac nurse ?.

If so she / he will be able to provide details of councilors who specifically support relatives such as yourself.

I've had two lots of counseling in the past / first wasn't good ( my fault, as I was so full of rage ) . The second was wonderful and helped measurably.

Counseling isn't a magic cure all, but teaches you that it's okay to free the way you do and coping mechanisms.
 
COYBL25 said:
Hi mate, does your dad have a Mac nurse ?.

If so she / he will be able to provide details of councilors who specifically support relatives such as yourself.

I've had two lots of counseling in the past / first wasn't good ( my fault, as I was so full of rage ) . The second was wonderful and helped measurably.

Counseling isn't a magic cure all, but teaches you that it's okay to free the way you do and coping mechanisms.
Click to expand...
Yes he has a MacMillan nurse visit once a week. I didn't think of asking her to be honest. Thanks I'll talk with her on Wednesday on her next visit. MacMillans are really good actually, they've helped a huge amount.
 
COYBL25 said:
They'll be able to help you mate and hopefully you won't have to wait as long as you would as if you went to your GP.
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I'll give it a go, not sure how easy it will be to open up but better than bottling it up until breaking point I guess. I'll be no use to my parents that way.

Just want to say kudos for having this forum section Grandoldteam. I bet you've helped a lot of blues over the years.
 

EPSBLue said:
I'll give it a go, not sure how easy it will be to open up but better than bottling it up until breaking point I guess. I'll be no use to my parents that way.

Just want to say kudos for having this forum section Grandoldteam. I bet you've helped a lot of blues over the years.
Click to expand...

The first session is just having a chat and finding out about you.

Go through this thread mate, you see that loads have felt the way you're feeling and how many have been helped by counseling.

Look at this way mate, your head can break, same as any other part of your body.

Why should you feel ashamed of wanting to fix your head ?
 
COYBL25 said:
The first session is just having a chat and finding out about you.

Go through this thread mate, you see that loads have felt the way you're feeling and how many have been helped by counseling.

Look at this way mate, your head can break, same as any other part of your body.

Why should you feel ashamed of wanting to fix your head ?
Click to expand...
Well I'm glad I quit the drinking. My dad got an infection and luckily I was able to get my mother to the hospital where he is now. The doctors have withdrawn treatment and will just keep him comfortable now. Not sure how long these things take but I don't want to see him in any more pain.
Tough times...... I feel for anyone who has gone through anything similar.
 
EPSBLue said:
Well I'm glad I quit the drinking. My dad got an infection and luckily I was able to get my mother to the hospital where he is now. The doctors have withdrawn treatment and will just keep him comfortable now. Not sure how long these things take but I don't want to see him in any more pain.
Tough times...... I feel for anyone who has gone through anything similar.
Click to expand...

It's not fun but there comes a moment of realization, for better or worse, that the decision was made to make your father's life as free from suffering as possible. And there comes some peace from that. Some of the painful memories of my dad's last years make me weepy eyed thinking about it, but it's good to know he is finally at peace.
 
AmericasToffee said:
It's not fun but there comes a moment of realization, for better or worse, that the decision was made to make your father's life as free from suffering as possible. And there comes some peace from that. Some of the painful memories of my dad's last years make me weepy eyed thinking about it, but it's good to know he is finally at peace.
Click to expand...

I hope that when you remember your dad you don't automatically recall the times he was in pain. I'd hate for my memories of my dad to be tarnished by the last few weeks and that I can remember the happier times when he was fit and active and always laughing.
 

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