Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Tipp blue]

Discussion with a mate of mine who works in a mental health facility about problems with addiction, talked about my issues with Codeine.

Problem is now that after that chat all I can think about is actually going and getting some. Next few days are going to be horrible.

Get out and go for a run instead, exercise is great for the mind it will stop you thinking about other things for a while and you'll feel great after it. Luckily for me I don't have any addictions I was probably close to if not addicted to Facebook so I got rid of it and bought a bike and go for a cycle every evening and the exercise really helps me both physically and mentally.

 

[efcforever]

Discussion with a mate of mine who works in a mental health facility about problems with addiction, talked about my issues with Codeine.

Problem is now that after that chat all I can think about is actually going and getting some. Next few days are going to be horrible.

How are you doing mate? Try to focus on how good you'll feel in a few days if you don't give in.

 

[zzr45]

How are you doing mate? Try to focus on how good you'll feel in a few days if you don't give in.

Not too bad as Tipp above said, managed to get to the gym for an hour which was good. It’s a day of keeping myself busy now. Washing’s been done, house cleaned. Thankfully work want me to go to another depot tomorrow so saves sitting in the office getting bored.

 

[Billy Dean]

Talk to somebody before you go back in. HR, your boss, is there a counselling and support/welfare officer. Or do you have any mates there who could meet you before you went back in and go in with you for a bit of moral support.

And if anxiety is one of the underlying issues just take it easy on the ale. It's a depressant and the next day the impact of a session - and I'm not suggesting for one moment this is your intention when you meet your mates - as one who knows from experience the downside the next day really doesn't make the short term euphoria from drinking worth it. It will just set you back and you need to give yourself a chance to fully recover. Good luck, BD

Thanks a lot for your messages and sorry for the late replies.

Things have changed a bit. Couple of days after I went back into work my reporting line pulled me into a meeting and gave me my transfer confirmation, apologised that they took so long and stressed that I’m a valued member of the team and they’re happy with my confirmation, and before I went on holiday they have finally started integrating me into my new team. It’s definitely a relief, although after so many months stress it’ll be a little while before the relief fully kicks in. But at least I think I won’t be going through long periods of 4 hours sleep a night for the foreseeable. I’m hoping (touch wood) that the stress will slowly dissipate now.

Still feeling very exhausted though. On holiday but long haul and badly jet lagged. Quite vain but I’m quite shocked at the toll this last year or so has taken on my appearance. I look an absolute mess. I hope that will clear up at some point too. I look a bit like that picture of Tiger Woods when he got arrested.

@Jokerdan re the ale yes since the op I seem to be hitting it harder than before it. I guess that’s down to the xhaustion too. It takes me more booze than normal to get in that merry spirit. Which then as you say makes me feel worse the next day and affects my sleep. Especially bad when I do it on work nights. Bit of a catch 22. I’m an expat (posh term for immigrant) and so my social circle fluctuates as people come and go. I’m in the process of making new friends at the moment so feel I need to be in that merry spirit more than i might have done a couple of years ago.

 

[Paulie]

My girlfriend suffers quite bad with anxiety and after our holiday in June she hit a real low, to the point of not being able to work and function normally and on one occasion telling me she wanted "it to all end", it was horrible I broke down in work and had to drive home. I'm not sure how serious her comments or thoughs were like. So I took her back the docs and they doubled her tablets. Quite mad that the tablets she has been given can make her have suicidal feelings. She is, fingers crossed, starting to get better now. She has accepted she was in a state of depression, quite possibly down to anxiety and has had a few 1 on 1s to help deal with it. I hope she doesn't go as low as that again as it has been a really tough couple of months for us all. I've never felt more helpless in all my life.

 

[COYBL25]

Thanks a lot for your messages and sorry for the late replies.

Things have changed a bit. Couple of days after I went back into work my reporting line pulled me into a meeting and gave me my transfer confirmation, apologised that they took so long and stressed that I’m a valued member of the team and they’re happy with my confirmation, and before I went on holiday they have finally started integrating me into my new team. It’s definitely a relief, although after so many months stress it’ll be a little while before the relief fully kicks in. But at least I think I won’t be going through long periods of 4 hours sleep a night for the foreseeable. I’m hoping (touch wood) that the stress will slowly dissipate now.

Still feeling very exhausted though. On holiday but long haul and badly jet lagged. Quite vain but I’m quite shocked at the toll this last year or so has taken on my appearance. I look an absolute mess. I hope that will clear up at some point too. I look a bit like that picture of Tiger Woods when he got arrested.

@Jokerdan re the ale yes since the op I seem to be hitting it harder than before it. I guess that’s down to the xhaustion too. It takes me more booze than normal to get in that merry spirit. Which then as you say makes me feel worse the next day and affects my sleep. Especially bad when I do it on work nights. Bit of a catch 22. I’m an expat (posh term for immigrant) and so my social circle fluctuates as people come and go. I’m in the process of making new friends at the moment so feel I need to be in that merry spirit more than i might have done a couple of years ago.

Great post mate, it`s good to hear some positivity, as it lets others know that things can and do get better with time and circumstance.

Maybe you could try swapping every other drink for a soft drink when you`re out - It`ll make a big difference the morning after.

Once people are pissed they don`t notice / don`t care that you`re not drinking ?

 

[COYBL25]

My girlfriend suffers quite bad with anxiety and after our holiday in June she hit a real low, to the point of not being able to work and function normally and on one occasion telling me she wanted "it to all end", it was horrible I broke down in work and had to drive home. I'm not sure how serious her comments or thoughs were like. So I took her back the docs and they doubled her tablets. Quite mad that the tablets she has been given can make her have suicidal feelings. She is, fingers crossed, starting to get better now. She has accepted she was in a state of depression, quite possibly down to anxiety and has had a few 1 on 1s to help deal with it. I hope she doesn't go as low as that again as it has been a really tough couple of months for us all.

What`s caused the anxiety mate ?

If the tablets are causing her to have suicidal thoughts, they aren`t the right ones for her ( it can be a side effect with some SSI`s).

I`m no expert, but she needs them changing, as it can be quite hit and miss until you find the one that`s right for her.

I`m a long term anxiety sufferer and the way I cope is through exercise and extreme moderation with the ale. ( due to the extreme downer the day after )

Exercise is a wonderful tool in fighting anxiety mate, as it releases all those wonderful " feel good " chemicals into your brain afterwards.

The only problem now, is that I`m addicted to exercise

 

[Paulie]

What`s caused the anxiety mate ?

If the tablets are causing her to have suicidal thoughts, they aren`t the right ones for her ( it can be a side effect with some SSI`s).

I`m no expert, but she needs them changing, as it can be quite hit and miss until you find the one that`s right for her.

I`m a long term anxiety sufferer and the way I cope is through exercise and extreme moderation with the ale. ( due to the extreme downer the day after )

Exercise is a wonderful tool in fighting anxiety mate, as it releases all those wonderful " feel good " chemicals into your brain afterwards.

The only problem now, is that I`m addicted to exercise

Anxiety is down to life events I think including a break in.

It has been a one off the suicidal stuff so I'm thinking that was the lowest point of her depression.

Funny you say about the alcohol because I recognised she was at a low every time she had been drinking and took me persistence to get it into her head. After a bit of denial on her part, she has really disciplined herself and knows when to stop.

I read about exercise helping release endorphins. We walk the dog as much as we can so hoping that helps.

Thanks for the advice

 

[roydo]

Anxiety is down to life events I think including a break in.

It has been a one off the suicidal stuff so I'm thinking that was the lowest point of her depression.

Funny you say about the alcohol because I recognised she was at a low every time she had been drinking and took me persistence to get it into her head. After a bit of denial on her part, she has really disciplined herself and knows when to stop.

I read about exercise helping release endorphins. We walk the dog as much as we can so hoping that helps.

Thanks for the advice

If she has had some one to ones, hopefully she has begun the process of accepting being anxious is normal. Its when the back of the brain, (the emotional it) over powers the front of the brain, (the rational bit), and the sheer panic and fear just over whelms you. Its terrifying.

Learning to minimise the chance of that happening, accepting that recovery will not be steady progress, (there will be unexpected set backs), and having the support of you in the process, will ultimately get her back on her feet. Meds are sound as a crutch, but long term, for most mental health issues, they are not a long term solution.

 

[Paulie]

If she has had some one to ones, hopefully she has begun the process of accepting being anxious is normal. Its when the back of the brain, (the emotional it) over powers the front of the brain, (the rational bit), and the sheer panic and fear just over whelms you. Its terrifying.

Learning to minimise the chance of that happening, accepting that recovery will not be steady progress, (there will be unexpected set backs), and having the support of you in the process, will ultimately get her back on her feet. Meds are sound as a crutch, but long term, for most mental health issues, they are not a long term solution.

Yeah I think getting her to accept her problems which I have done tried to for a while now is a major step. Her mother has gone through something similar and also some friends, so she has people who can relate to her anxiety.

I really don't envy anyone who has anxiety it must be horrible.

Nice one.

 

[Diogenes the Cynic]

I don't really post much at all on here although a few people may remember me as a much more prolific poster.
I've been a silent observer of this thread from the start wondering if i should make comment or not. It's a wonderful thing and it's only my own personal demons thst has made me pause.
I've experienced mental health problems from both a professional and personal point of view. I'm a mental health nurse and I've worked pretty much every environment going. My main background is acute but ive worked secure, crisis team, rehab, substance misuse etc.
I've suffered from anxiety since i can remember. It's like i have a need to be liked and loved by everyone so i am a complete people pleaser and so although in public i appear to be a confident clown inside it is very different.
I took my first overdose about 10 years ago. It wasn't so much as an intentional overdose, more that the worse things get the more extreme i go with my lifestyle until i don't care anymore. I think that night it was flake and popping opiate painkillers until i passed out. I woke up face down in vomit, if I'd fell a different way i doubt I'd be here.
I picked myself up. Things are always up and down with my mood but like a lot of people you become a master of disguise.
I just poured myself into my work. With no partner or kids i moved around, getting what i wanted from the job then leaving for promotions and somewhere new.
I started managing an acute ward. It was in bad shape when i arrived but i got rid of all the bad eggs and recruited a new team who were inexperienced but full of passion. We worked together for 2 years and they were like family. Then the hospital was taken over and they changed the spec. They started taking referrals that i felt unsafe for the environment. I wanted to protect the team and the patients and tried to battle the exec team and obviously lost.
They got rid of me and i went downhill fast. I was too proud to let anyone see me down. I turned into Charlie Sheen (minus the AIDS and sadly Bree Olson) and eventually hit rock bottom.The girl i was seeing turned out to be shallow and falseand that hurt me. I just remember waking up in a hospital bed with the crisis team looking at me. I obviously knew them personally and I got them to put it down on my record as accidental alcohol poisoning and came back to Liverpool.
My anxiety became so bad i struggled to even leave the house. I became obsessed with cooking and would spend the entire day cooking and watching cookery shows.
Eventually with a kick up the arse from an antidepressant i started to ride my bike a bit outside and from there gradually became able to go in public again.
I took a job managing an acute step down hospital. I was promoted to manage the acute services. But i was struggling. I had a team unwilling to change their culture and an exec team unwilling to back my changes. I spent 10 months in a place where i couldn't trust anyone and it was a completely hostile working environment.
I'm on the sick now but im not going back.
I can't go back, someone or some staff have been compiling a list of things I've allegedly done and so im suspended pending investigation. I hate it there anyway.
Ive been prescribed lots of antidepressants in the past but it's my anxiety mainly that leads to my low mood. I didn't want to go on an antidepressant only and so i took a short course of benzos. I had been prescribed propranolol previously but ineffectively and I asked the gp to give me pregabalin because i shouldn't be taking the propranolol with my asthma.
One of my nurses was a good friend and we started a relationship. She broke up with me this week. I've had the pregabalin pushed up to the max dose but im eating them like sweets and taking double my mirtazapine to get to sleep.
I feel like i did before but not despairing more like resigned. I feel like ive been fixed just to be smashed into pieces again. And it's not like i want to die anymore, i just don't care if i live. So at the moment i am in Charlie Sheen mode, last night i cut and pasted the same message to girls on a dating site until i got some redhead to come to mine and then even after she left i was wanking like a safari park chimp to babestation daytime until the rum and pregabalin made me pass out.
I woke up at teatime today. I just feel numb. Everyone i know is getting married and having kids, i have absolutely material to show for my life, no wife, no house no cat.
But I've been offered a chance to work overseas and i am going for it. It's my lifeline because if i stay here i think im done.

Apologies for the long and rambling message, I'm not asking or expecting help.

I don't know why i wrote it really, only to unload and put it in black and white for myself and because I have read this thread for so long with pride and admiration really.

 

[COYBL25]

I don't really post much at all on here although a few people may remember me as a much more prolific poster.
I've been a silent observer of this thread from the start wondering if i should make comment or not. It's a wonderful thing and it's only my own personal demons thst has made me pause.
I've experienced mental health problems from both a professional and personal point of view. I'm a mental health nurse and I've worked pretty much every environment going. My main background is acute but ive worked secure, crisis team, rehab, substance misuse etc.
I've suffered from anxiety since i can remember. It's like i have a need to be liked and loved by everyone so i am a complete people pleaser and so although in public i appear to be a confident clown inside it is very different.
I took my first overdose about 10 years ago. It wasn't so much as an intentional overdose, more that the worse things get the more extreme i go with my lifestyle until i don't care anymore. I think that night it was flake and popping opiate painkillers until i passed out. I woke up face down in vomit, if I'd fell a different way i doubt I'd be here.
I picked myself up. Things are always up and down with my mood but like a lot of people you become a master of disguise.
I just poured myself into my work. With no partner or kids i moved around, getting what i wanted from the job then leaving for promotions and somewhere new.
I started managing an acute ward. It was in bad shape when i arrived but i got rid of all the bad eggs and recruited a new team who were inexperienced but full of passion. We worked together for 2 years and they were like family. Then the hospital was taken over and they changed the spec. They started taking referrals that i felt unsafe for the environment. I wanted to protect the team and the patients and tried to battle the exec team and obviously lost.
They got rid of me and i went downhill fast. I was too proud to let anyone see me down. I turned into Charlie Sheen (minus the AIDS and sadly Bree Olson) and eventually hit rock bottom.The girl i was seeing turned out to be shallow and falseand that hurt me. I just remember waking up in a hospital bed with the crisis team looking at me. I obviously knew them personally and I got them to put it down on my record as accidental alcohol poisoning and came back to Liverpool.
My anxiety became so bad i struggled to even leave the house. I became obsessed with cooking and would spend the entire day cooking and watching cookery shows.
Eventually with a kick up the arse from an antidepressant i started to ride my bike a bit outside and from there gradually became able to go in public again.
I took a job managing an acute step down hospital. I was promoted to manage the acute services. But i was struggling. I had a team unwilling to change their culture and an exec team unwilling to back my changes. I spent 10 months in a place where i couldn't trust anyone and it was a completely hostile working environment.
I'm on the sick now but im not going back.
I can't go back, someone or some staff have been compiling a list of things I've allegedly done and so im suspended pending investigation. I hate it there anyway.
Ive been prescribed lots of antidepressants in the past but it's my anxiety mainly that leads to my low mood. I didn't want to go on an antidepressant only and so i took a short course of benzos. I had been prescribed propranolol previously but ineffectively and I asked the gp to give me pregabalin because i shouldn't be taking the propranolol with my asthma.
One of my nurses was a good friend and we started a relationship. She broke up with me this week. I've had the pregabalin pushed up to the max dose but im eating them like sweets and taking double my mirtazapine to get to sleep.
I feel like i did before but not despairing more like resigned. I feel like ive been fixed just to be smashed into pieces again. And it's not like i want to die anymore, i just don't care if i live. So at the moment i am in Charlie Sheen mode, last night i cut and pasted the same message to girls on a dating site until i got some redhead to come to mine and then even after she left i was wanking like a safari park chimp to babestation daytime until the rum and pregabalin made me pass out.
I woke up at teatime today. I just feel numb. Everyone i know is getting married and having kids, i have absolutely material to show for my life, no wife, no house no cat.
But I've been offered a chance to work overseas and i am going for it. It's my lifeline because if i stay here i think im done.

Apologies for the long and rambling message, I'm not asking or expecting help.

I don't know why i wrote it really, only to unload and put it in black and white for myself and because I have read this thread for so long with pride and admiration really.

Wow, respect for that mate.

Where abouts overseas, is it in a similar field ?

By the sounds of it you've got one hell of a lot to offer.

 

[Diogenes the Cynic]

Wow, respect for that mate.

Where abouts overseas, is it in a similar field ?

By the sounds of it you've got one hell of a lot to offer.

My mate is from Mauritius and owns a nursing agency. He wants to run a lot of it from over there but has kids in school etc so needs to stay here.
He's asked me to go out and set up the outsourcing for training, compliance, recruitment etc. So I'm going to do that and run that side of the business from there.
Major sink or swim, could be back in a couple months or couple years. Either way it's an opportunity that won't come around again and it's like finding a wonka golden ticket for me to be honest ha.

 

[COYBL25]

My mate is from Mauritius and owns a nursing agency. He wants to run a lot of it from over there but has kids in school etc so needs to stay here.
He's asked me to go out and set up the outsourcing for training, compliance, recruitment etc. So I'm going to do that and run that side of the business from there.
Major sink or swim, could be back in a couple months or couple years. Either way it's an opportunity that won't come around again and it's like finding a wonka golden ticket for me to be honest ha.

From my own experiences, I`ve found that some of the best people I`ve worked with or sought help from, are people that have experienced the very things that they are now helping others with.

It sounds ideal for you.

Even if it doesn`t work out long term, you can get your head together whilst you`re out there and come back in the knowledge that you gave it your best shot

 

[The binman chronicles]

My mate is from Mauritius and owns a nursing agency. He wants to run a lot of it from over there but has kids in school etc so needs to stay here.
He's asked me to go out and set up the outsourcing for training, compliance, recruitment etc. So I'm going to do that and run that side of the business from there.
Major sink or swim, could be back in a couple months or couple years. Either way it's an opportunity that won't come around again and it's like finding a wonka golden ticket for me to be honest ha.

Sounds like a great way to put a spark back in to your life, different people and culture and a change of scenery will freshen things up no end I'm sure.

I hope it all goes well for you out there.