True, it isn’t, but I feel like I need to make up some illness now to stop the questions.
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True, it isn’t, but I feel like I need to make up some illness now to stop the questions.
You know what, after the first mins that you`re back, non of your work mates will be arsed why you were off and will move onto something else - the footy, how drunk they got, how boring their weekend was etc.
That`s the problem with anxiety, it magnifies every little worry and turns into a major one.
Once you`ve been back in for half an hour, you`ll wonder what you were worried about in the first place.
You need to stay with them. Nothing stays the same and you need to keep trying. Whatever it is, trust me. There is always help and whatever you are battling, it can and will change. One day you will not be able to imagine feeling this low.
I have a similar issue and following the Sister in Law taking her own life then of course it got worse. Four years on we are not out of the woods but has improved. Just keep a close eye on things...we can do little but show understanding and be vigilant.
I am ashamed there are so many total scumbag men out there. One has even become president. The bravery of that woman and she was ridiculed by Trump. Assault is being mainstreamed and it is very concerning.
It will change Paul. It may not seem much but anyone you call a friend needs and wants you to improve. It will, tomorrow or in twelve months but time is short and you will feel better at some point and want to do a million things you cant think of just now.
God that is horrible. Hope things keep improving mate. Agree not much we can do but be there.
Billy Dean
Player Valuation: £70m
Hi mate I took a week off recently due to burnout/anxiety and was worried for the same reason when I went back. I just told them, on my GPs advice, to say I came down with a bug that knocked me down, had a dodgy gut, chest and throat etc. In the end a couple of people asked but no one was really arsed.
Billy Dean
Player Valuation: £70m
Yeh it’s just the longer I leave the I feel the “worse” the illness has to be. Still haven’t been back, tried today but last night my anxiety was through the roof as I stared at my clock and tried to sleep. Was thinking of maybe trying something like Kalms before bed to help me tonight.
Billy Dean
Player Valuation: £70m
That’s sort of stuff helps me sometimes. The headspace app too I find useful. There are some good anxiety reducing exercise. Calm is a good app too.
Billy Dean
Player Valuation: £70m
P.s. are you in touch with your GP mate? Maybe they can tell you a suitable illness to use? As mentioned above that’s what mine did.
I have mixed views about this but totally understand the dilemma as it is one I have had to deal with and still do. I recently started a new job and relocated my family and my problems flared up worse than before. So I am currently in the same situation unfortunately hiding my difficulties from my employer.
The problem I have with this is that it’s a reaction to old fashioned thinking. Part of the problem is that mental heath problems are viewed a certain way by many and a lot of shame is attached. Unfortunately what we need to do is the opposite, raise awareness and acceptance, if every male that has problems understood it and came forward we would be in the majority. Not that I am diminishing the struggles many women have but we are on the verge of a mental health epidemic for men and too many hide it for fear of the consequences.
I guess what I’m trying to say, (and I don’t know how we get there) is that until we accept the problem and it’s many causes we cannot adequately address it. Employers should be more understanding and certainly in my line of work they should do more to accept the part they can play in the solution. The more we hide it the harder it is for this to happen. So I suppose the start is to raise awareness and to encourage more to seek help, this would then highlight the scale of the problem better. We shouldn’t have to feel we have to hide it from work, we wouldn’t do that with a reoccurring non-mental health illness. Employers should be offering support and solutions, many of these should be based on encouraging community and togetherness. Let’s not forget on of the main contributors is the breakdown of families and communities, compounded now by us living through our phones. One thing I know for a fact is that the times I have made the greatest leaps forward is when another human helps me. So far my phone hasn’t offered to help me once!!
This is why I think this thread is incredible and I salute everyone who posts on here. If you feel like s**t out there you aren’t alone and this illness makes us feel very alone but we aren’t. And if there is anything I can say it is find another human you can trust that wants to help and let them in. I lost a child 15 years ago and sought therapy for the first time 5 weeks ago. I have endured a lot of pain and anxiety that I could have possibly avoided had I done this sooner. So my advice is simple find someone to share your problems with, DO NOT try to fix it yourself, you can’t!
And again f*****g bravo to Groucho for starting it and everyone that has posted, you are a credit to yourself and to the club.
Don’t suffer alone and accept your going to have to fight this off but do it with help.
Billy Dean
Player Valuation: £70m
That’s absolutely true but the part about revealing to your employer is only possible if you trust your employer I guess.
That’s it mate and therein lies the problem, and why, despite what I think and know I should do, I’m doing the opposite and keeping it quiet myself. It’s such a tough thing to deal with especially for people that are the main earner in a family. The weight of responsibility feeds the problem and makes it harder to be open about it for fear of the consequences.