Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[anjelikaferrett]

In a bit of a bind people.

I have my interview next Thursday that I'm going too but I've had my holiday request from the current place rejected. I can't and won't miss this interview but if I call in a sick day I am afraid it will be used as a reason to dismiss me (I've had too many in the past 12 months). I think my only option really seems to be handing in my resignation, least that way I can avoid having a dismissal on my record.

Any advice people, I'm really not well-versed in employment contracts.

Why have they rejected your holiday request? That's the first thing I would ask, Then maybe compromise. Could you take a half day instead of a whole day off?Say you have something very important that you need to do. Could you be up front and say you have a job interview - given that the company is shedding jobs then I can't see how they could refuse somebody time to go for an interview. Even if you are not directly affected by the job losses - you leaving could mean that they can keep somebody else.

 

[messymascot]

In a bit of a bind people.

I have my interview next Thursday that I'm going too but I've had my holiday request from the current place rejected. I can't and won't miss this interview but if I call in a sick day I am afraid it will be used as a reason to dismiss me (I've had too many in the past 12 months). I think my only option really seems to be handing in my resignation, least that way I can avoid having a dismissal on my record.

Any advice people, I'm really not well-versed in employment contracts.

Have a word with CAB as with your job being in jeopardy you may be entitled to the day off. Leave it with me and I could do some digging for you but I need to know a little more. I'm doing absolutely nothing tomorrow so can go and see CAB for you.

 

[blue to the bone]

Is she going to the meetings because she wants to or because she thinks it is what you all want her to do. If it's the latter them she may not get anything out of it. She has to admit to herself that she has a problem. I represented a bloke in work who was caught drinking cans of lager in the disabled loos. The employer would have supported him and he would have kept his job had he a) admitted he had a problem and b) sought help. He was completely in denial, According to him he didn't drink any more than anybody else. He went to AA meetings to please his wife because she wanted him to go. He couldn't see the point. Very very sad. As it was he turned up to the disciplinary drunk and stinking of booze. He lost his job.

Would agree 100 per cent with this. I'm in recovery from gambling addiction for over 5 years and I went originally because I wanted to get help and stop.
But the amount of people I have seen at meetings who are there because of pressure from family or because of pending court cases or work related incidents is huge. And most don't tend to stop gambling because they don't really want to or see they need to

 

[EFCPaul]

Have a word with CAB as with your job being in jeopardy you may be entitled to the day off. Leave it with me and I could do some digging for you but I need to know a little more. I'm doing absolutely nothing tomorrow so can go and see CAB for you.

Thanks for the heartfelt offer mate it's appreciated.

Decided not to do it though, I'm just going to hand in a sick note of the doctor. Tried to do things the nice way but they've refused so they can just get on with me phoning it in now. I've learnt I'm on a written warning but it's not a FINAL warning so if I hand a note in there's not much they can do even if they know full well what I'm up too.

Saves me from having a potential awkward conversation with my potential employer as well.

 

[messymascot]

Thanks for the heartfelt offer mate it's appreciated.

Decided not to do it though, I'm just going to hand in a sick note of the doctor. Tried to do things the nice way but they've refused so they can just get on with me phoning it in now. I've learnt I'm on a written warning but it's not a FINAL warning so if I hand a note in there's not much they can do even if they know full well what I'm up too.

Saves me from having a potential awkward conversation with my potential employer as well.

No problem. They would have to follow procedures anyways and hopefully you'll get the job before it gets to that point. Good luck with the interview and I'm sure you'll smash it!

 

[Tipp blue]

Thanks for the heartfelt offer mate it's appreciated.

Decided not to do it though, I'm just going to hand in a sick note of the doctor. Tried to do things the nice way but they've refused so they can just get on with me phoning it in now. I've learnt I'm on a written warning but it's not a FINAL warning so if I hand a note in there's not much they can do even if they know full well what I'm up too.

Saves me from having a potential awkward conversation with my potential employer as well.

Was it you who was on here a few weeks ago about redundancies at your current company? If so just tell them that you have an interview for a job you applied for when it was announced that there would be redundancies.,. They cant give you a warning or let you go because you have an Interview. Any time I've ever had an Interview I've told the boss and taken off as little time as needed for it be it a half day, couple of hours.

 

[EFCPaul]

Was it you who was on here a few weeks ago about redundancies at your current company? If so just tell them that you have an interview for a job you applied for when it was announced that there would be redundancies.,. They cant give you a warning or let you go because you have an Interview. Any time I've ever had an Interview I've told the boss and taken off as little time as needed for it be it a half day, couple of hours.

They know all this mate but they're a tin-pot company who don't know how to run themselves. I'm just going off for a few weeks to hopefully smash this interview or at least get in elsewhere. Really at the end here now. I didn't hand them a resignation that I brought in with me because I thought it best to just see out the day and get a full weeks pay.

Before one of the managers gave me a file note for "not working hard enough". The irony when this woman has zero clue how to use the phones herself and only does only 15 hours a week. Flipping them the Vs.

 

[Nymzee]

They know all this mate but they're a tin-pot company who don't know how to run themselves. I'm just going off for a few weeks to hopefully smash this interview or at least get in elsewhere. Really at the end here now. I didn't hand them a resignation that I brought in with me because I thought it best to just see out the day and get a full weeks pay.

Before one of the managers gave me a file note for "not working hard enough". The irony when this woman has zero clue how to use the phones herself and only does only 15 hours a week. Flipping them the Vs.

Is going off for a few weeks wise? Could you not have just made up a doctors/hospital appointment or a funeral or something just for the interview day? I know lying is bad and blah blah but you don't want to sour things too much with your current employer since you don't have anything firm to fall back on.

 

[jonnyboy316]

Is she going to the meetings because she wants to or because she thinks it is what you all want her to do. If it's the latter them she may not get anything out of it. She has to admit to herself that she has a problem. I represented a bloke in work who was caught drinking cans of lager in the disabled loos. The employer would have supported him and he would have kept his job had he a) admitted he had a problem and b) sought help. He was completely in denial, According to him he didn't drink any more than anybody else. He went to AA meetings to please his wife because she wanted him to go. He couldn't see the point. Very very sad. As it was he turned up to the disciplinary drunk and stinking of booze. He lost his job.

She knows there is a problem and AA sessions were her idea. My parents drive her to the meeting as she can’t drive. The whole thing is very sad. I appreciate everybody’s posts

 

[Tipp blue]

She knows there is a problem and AA sessions were her idea. My parents drive her to the meeting as she can’t drive. The whole thing is very sad. I appreciate everybody’s posts

There is medication for alocholisim, it works by causing a physical reaction to alcohol, if you are taking the medication and drink so much as a mouthful of alcohol, its almost like an allergic reaction or food poison, makes you vomit, light headed and dizzy. There are Other medications for alcoholism that effect chemicals in your brain that relate to cravings. You really have to want to quit as its easy to stop taking the tablets. If it was your sister's idea to do AA then it might be worth looking into as she knows she has a problem and seems to want to quit. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/alcohol-misuse/treatment/

 

[jonnyboy316]

There is medication for alocholisim, it works by causing a physical reaction to alcohol, if you are taking the medication and drink so much as a mouthful of alcohol, its almost like an allergic reaction or food poison, makes you vomit, light headed and dizzy. There are Other medications for alcoholism that effect chemicals in your brain that relate to cravings. You really have to want to quit as its easy to stop taking the tablets. If it was your sister's idea to do AA then it might be worth looking into as she knows she has a problem and seems to want to quit. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/alcohol-misuse/treatment/

The Doctor is an issue because she is concerned about losing her kids

 

[dave n]

I'm still battling with my ex wife and daughter during seperation. It's certainly not getting any easier.
I went to pick my daughter up at 1730 this evening as it was my weekend only to get told I was to early as she was chilling with mum at home and could I come later to which I said no I am doing that and your mum will have to drop you off at mine later which has ended in yet another argument and me not seeing my daughter.
The only winner here is my ex wife but my daughter just refuses to wake up.

 

[Nymzee]

I'm still battling with my ex wife and daughter during seperation. It's certainly not getting any easier.
I went to pick my daughter up at 1730 this evening as it was my weekend only to get told I was to early as she was chilling with mum at home and could I come later to which I said no I am doing that and your mum will have to drop you off at mine later which has ended in yet another argument and me not seeing my daughter.
The only winner here is my ex wife but my daughter just refuses to wake up.

Tricky situation, I don’t have kids myself. You could always just stop making the effort for a bit? I’m sure your daughter will come crawling to you if she needs money or had a full out with your ex-wife.

 

[efcforever]

I'm still battling with my ex wife and daughter during seperation. It's certainly not getting any easier.
I went to pick my daughter up at 1730 this evening as it was my weekend only to get told I was to early as she was chilling with mum at home and could I come later to which I said no I am doing that and your mum will have to drop you off at mine later which has ended in yet another argument and me not seeing my daughter.
The only winner here is my ex wife but my daughter just refuses to wake up.

Any chance of going to pick up your daughter today?

 

[dave n]

Any chance of going to pick up your daughter today?

I've no idea really mate. I'm not chasing her any more. I'm sick of being treated like [Poor language removed] by her and others.