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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Nymzee said:
Cracking down on our hours now at work, lots of people twiddling thumbs, not 100% what we’ve got going forwards. My company is decent though, very loyal, they’ll move people around to keep them going. Decided maybe it was best to update my CV though and plop it online just in case.

Problem is, this is the only “proper” job I’ve ever had and the thought of doing it somewhere else is driving my anxiety right up. What if you’re not up to it? What if they don’t need you after 6 months? What if the way you’ve been working isn’t translatable to other companies?

Has anyone got any tips for calming down about approaching a possible job change?
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That being your only job proves that you are good at it. Yes you may start off a new job feeling you haven't got a clue but how did you start this one? You have just got to remember every starts somewhere. You having one job is seen as a positive by lots of employers as it shows stability and loyalty. As for staying calm just remember an employer expects a bit of nerves as it is a normal human trait.
 
mccole said:
Don't know if this helps but when it comes to Everton, I always have a silly little rule.

The rule is I will chat about it (win, lose or draw) for 5/10 mins depending on results but I make a cut off point usually I would put the pub jukebox on if I am at the game and I don't know why but it was Call Me by Blondie.

It happened during Moyes' run after we got beat 4-0 by Bolton at Goodison in 2005, I was a tough season and we all just had enough so I was sick of just getting on the ale then moaning about Everton so I just broke the cycle.

Saw Blondie, banged it on then spent a few minutes not giving a toss. It helped loads and since then I've played Call Me a shedloads but I don't get hung up on the Blues.

If you find yourself down, break the cycle, do something different like go for a walk, listen to the first album you ever bought or cook your favourite meal.

Don't let life dictate you, it's your life, make the most of it.

Up The Blues!

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mate was feeling a little down this morning due to the cold etc and 2 days before payday literally cant afford lunch today and just pressed play on that and boom, good mood haha, cheers fella
 
I've spoken about the good progress I've made in last 12 months, well last night I had a bad anxiety attack.

I am going to Prague on Sunday where I am planning on popping the question to my amazing girl. I think it's nerves and over-thinking that kicked it off. Things are perfect in my life and I am really not used to that being the case. Thinking of reasons it could all go wrong rather than accepting it for what it is.

Just shows there is no reasoning with mental health issues and it can rear it's head when least expected.

Trying to not get too down on myself today but finding it tougher than I'd like.
 
Nymzee said:
Cracking down on our hours now at work, lots of people twiddling thumbs, not 100% what we’ve got going forwards. My company is decent though, very loyal, they’ll move people around to keep them going. Decided maybe it was best to update my CV though and plop it online just in case.

Problem is, this is the only “proper” job I’ve ever had and the thought of doing it somewhere else is driving my anxiety right up. What if you’re not up to it? What if they don’t need you after 6 months? What if the way you’ve been working isn’t translatable to other companies?

Has anyone got any tips for calming down about approaching a possible job change?
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I don't think there is such a thing as a 'job for life' nowadays. Just remember there are millions of us who have faced or are facing similar situations. Have self belief and try to treat it as a new adventure rather than doubt yourself or become embroiled in anxiety. I know how uncertain you must feel but I have started to adopt this mantra - and try and do as I am now doing, re-programming my mind to identify the difference between anxiety and excitement.
All too often in the past I fell to the prey of anxiety when it was really an underlying feeling of excitement - the latter being positive rather than negative but I couldn't differentiate between the two and because my mindset was set at minus I always tried to avoid change instead of embracing and missed out on so many new experiences. It's not going to hurt you and, more likely than not, it may prove your making. Good luck!
 

Interview tomorrow morning, I'm quite nervous now. I've prepared as best as I can I think but I suppose you'll always have that nagging feeling that you could have done more.

If it goes well great. If it doesn't I guess it just wasn't for me and I go down another road. Whatever happens I'm very curious as to how the next chapter of my book plays out (sorry for being all metaphorical haha).
 
EFCPaul said:
Interview tomorrow morning, I'm quite nervous now. I've prepared as best as I can I think but I suppose you'll always have that nagging feeling that you could have done more.

If it goes well great. If it doesn't I guess it just wasn't for me and I go down another road. Whatever happens I'm very curious as to how the next chapter of my book plays out (sorry for being all metaphorical haha).
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Good luck mate! That nagging feeling that you could have done more is “drive” - a drive to succeed, a drive to make continuous self-improvements. It means you still have an internal locus of control and know that you can influence your own destiny to a large extent. It’s good. Recognise it for the positive emotion it is! You lose that and you soon lose control.
 
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LydiateLee said:
I've spoken about the good progress I've made in last 12 months, well last night I had a bad anxiety attack.

I am going to Prague on Sunday where I am planning on popping the question to my amazing girl. I think it's nerves and over-thinking that kicked it off. Things are perfect in my life and I am really not used to that being the case. Thinking of reasons it could all go wrong rather than accepting it for what it is.

Just shows there is no reasoning with mental health issues and it can rear it's head when least expected.

Trying to not get too down on myself today but finding it tougher than I'd like.
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good luck with the proposal mate, hopefully everything goes perfect for ya bud, mental illness does not discriminate, its like a bad smell haha, but at least your anxiety is coming from knowing how good you have it at this moment and hopefully rather than become debilitating you can use it to know to hang on to what you have

enjoy prague, silver lining is even if she says no you can go drown your sorrows on some spot on lager for dirt cheap haha (well it used to be anyway)
 
SiEdmo said:
good luck with the proposal mate, hopefully everything goes perfect for ya bud, mental illness does not discriminate, its like a bad smell haha, but at least your anxiety is coming from knowing how good you have it at this moment and hopefully rather than become debilitating you can use it to know to hang on to what you have

enjoy prague, silver lining is even if she says no you can go drown your sorrows on some spot on lager for dirt cheap haha (well it used to be anyway)
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Thats an excellent way of looking at it mate!

Thanks so much, nervous but excited!
 
Had the interview thing and I was unsuccessful but I not letting myself be downbeat about it. Got to just take the positives and keep faith in yourself, their loss is someone else's gain.

I don't think I showed the best of myself in all honesty but the woman I had to speak with I think just didn't like the look of me for some reason, I'm speculating like but I never once felt comfortable in her and her scribe's presence. It got off to a crap start straight away when she told me she was going to ask me questions on 3 specific things. I told her one of those things was not mentioned in the preparation pack I received, something else was. She rolled her eyes but that's not my fault. God knows if that went against me straight from the off.

Went very dry mouthed and my mind turned to mostly mush so I waffled a bit but the enviroment was intimidating, we sat in a room the size of an assembly hall with loads going on around us so settling down wasn't something I really managed to do.

Meh it happens, I really do believe if something is meant to be it will come with no problems. Thanks for the well wishes folks, I've felt better but also felt far worse. Onto the next one which will hopefully suit me better and give me a better feeling as I approach it. If I get bad feeling like that walking it's usually warning flag. Other job interviews I've succeeded in have felt like that. It just wasn't my type of vibe I guess.
 

EFCPaul said:
Had the interview thing and I was unsuccessful but I not letting myself be downbeat about it. Got to just take the positives and keep faith in yourself, their loss is someone else's gain.

I don't think I showed the best of myself in all honesty but the woman I had to speak with I think just didn't like the look of me for some reason, I'm speculating like but I never once felt comfortable in her and her scribe's presence. It got off to a crap start straight away when she told me she was going to ask me questions on 3 specific things. I told her one of those things was not mentioned in the preparation pack I received, something else was. She rolled her eyes but that's not my fault. God knows if that went against me straight from the off.

Went very dry mouthed and my mind turned to mostly mush so I waffled a bit but the enviroment was intimidating, we sat in a room the size of an assembly hall with loads going on around us so settling down wasn't something I really managed to do.

Meh it happens, I really do believe if something is meant to be it will come with no problems. Thanks for the well wishes folks, I've felt better but also felt far worse. Onto the next one which will hopefully suit me better and give me a better feeling as I approach it. If I get bad feeling like that walking it's usually warning flag. Other job interviews I've succeeded in have felt like that. It just wasn't my type of vibe I guess.
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Sorry it didn't work out mate. But like you say onwards and upwards.
 
jonnyboy316 said:
She knows there is a problem and AA sessions were her idea. My parents drive her to the meeting as she can’t drive. The whole thing is very sad. I appreciate everybody’s posts
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AA or any twelve step programme only works if you work it. Simply going to a meeting is not enough. To recover, an addict has to perform a daily routine, phone other members of the group, have a sponsor and complete the 12 steps. Also Alcohol may not be her only addiction - many sufferers have multiple addictions.

I suspect she is trying to get away with only going to the meetings which won't work. She should read both the 'Blue Book', which is AA's bible, and Russel Brands book on addiction for a more modern take on things.
 
LydiateLee said:
Thats an excellent way of looking at it mate!

Thanks so much, nervous but excited!
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no drama mate, keep some sugary liquid to hand coz when I proposed to my Mrs it was in new York in November and was like -1 degrees and the cold and shock she collapsed haha, had to drag her into a pub for a coke hahaha, she had her head on the bar like she was out of it and the bartender goes is she ok dude and im like "yeah I proposed she is clearly made up"

enjoy mate, the butterflies just before are amazing, and don't confuse excitement with anxiety mate!!
 

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