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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

hallamblue said:
Nail on head, he is a micro managing control freak. I've spoken to 1 of the others and he's going to speak to HR, so we'll see. Not sure if I can work for him anymore whatever happens I'll probably look for a new job.
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From past experience, these type of people don’t tend to stay in the same position for long, as they cause that much trouble they get moved around a lot.

Where was he before / how long was he there ?

If he has only spent short periods of time in other positions it may be worth toughing out in the knowledge that he’ll get moved on ?
 
COYBL25 said:
From past experience, these type of people don’t tend to stay in the same position for long, as they cause that much trouble they get moved around a lot.

Where was he before / how long was he there ?

If he has only spent short periods of time in other positions it may be worth toughing out in the knowledge that he’ll get moved on ?
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He's been with the company for 12 years, and successfully managed a team before this job. To be honest the whole company ain't great.
 
hallamblue said:
My boss has decided to restructure the company, and is taking most of my responsibilities away. I'd already lost some and I think he's going to manage me out. I posted a while ago that my wife has said she's not sure that she wants to be with me anymore. I had crippling anxiety for about 4 years, and only started feeling better about 1 year ago. I'm really scared it will come back. I slept really badly last night, my mind wouldn't stop racing, it hasn't been like that for ages. I know I need to take the opportunity to move jobs and take control, but I have never had to do it. I got a job 24 years ago, and just got promotions within the company. Any help or advice would be appreciated.
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Has he changed your terms and conditions of employment? If he has changed your duties then he may be in breach of contract. It would be up to an Employment Tribunal to decide this. Changing duties can be adding or removing work. It might be worth going with your colleague to HR. If this person is such a control freak he might be acting without the knowledge of the company. was it a unilateral change or did he impose it on you. Any changes are supposed to be discussed and agreed. I would explore all these possibilities with HR
 
anjelikaferrett said:
Has he changed your terms and conditions of employment? If he has changed your duties then he may be in breach of contract. It would be up to an Employment Tribunal to decide this. Changing duties can be adding or removing work. It might be worth going with your colleague to HR. If this person is such a control freak he might be acting without the knowledge of the company. was it a unilateral change or did he impose it on you. Any changes are supposed to be discussed and agreed. I would explore all these possibilities with HR
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At this point it's only been a discussion but you make several valid points. He claims it's been discussed with higher management. I've said I'll reserve any judgement until I've seen a job description.
 

hallamblue said:
My boss has decided to restructure the company, and is taking most of my responsibilities away. I'd already lost some and I think he's going to manage me out. I posted a while ago that my wife has said she's not sure that she wants to be with me anymore. I had crippling anxiety for about 4 years, and only started feeling better about 1 year ago. I'm really scared it will come back. I slept really badly last night, my mind wouldn't stop racing, it hasn't been like that for ages. I know I need to take the opportunity to move jobs and take control, but I have never had to do it. I got a job 24 years ago, and just got promotions within the company. Any help or advice would be appreciated.
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Sorry to hear about this. My wife’s going through something similar as it happens.

When you say your boss is restructuring the company, this suggests he owns the company or is its CEO (or equivalent) as decisions to restructure a whole company are taken at the most senior management level. Or is he restructuring his team, which is only one part of the bigger company? The big difference is the former is something that can and does happen across all industries; on the other hand the latter would be very suspect. A manager in a company can’t suddenly and unilaterally decide to change his team’s employment contracts. Due process has to be followed: Is there a legitimate business need for restructuring? If certain roles are being drastically changed or even removed, is there justification for this? If yes, then might the changed/removed roles be considered redundancies? Have the affected staff been given a consultation period? As you’ve already been advised, you’re best getting the HR angle on this before deciding on your next move.
 
hallamblue said:
He's basically got all my direct reports going to him now. The job he has me down for is very narrow in scope and probably doesn't justify the money I'm on. To be honest it's probably the poke I need to leave and get a job with less money, but less stress and a better working environment.
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I've experienced similiar, I took a step down and saved myself, back on the way up now and wiser for it, look after yourself and do what you need to do to look after yourself and keep it all together.
 
goodisonopheliac said:
I thought I was OK and then I saw today's result and smashed my head against a wall.

It's not fair. It's not fair. Dammit. I don't want to be like this.
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You need to detach yourself from the impact of football on your soul. You are feeling the impact of the results probably more than many of the players who probably see it just as a job. Spread your interests and put it in perspective.
 

Found out my best mate from school has died at 56 it just shows how precious life is. When I started the comeback from Cancer and was basically being bullied at work even my home life took a hit. I think now how lucky I have been to come through so well. All those who are suffering its not always dark at half past four and please seek help. I had an awful GP but thankfully something made me seek out MACMILLON
 
hallamblue said:
He's basically got all my direct reports going to him now. The job he has me down for is very narrow in scope and probably doesn't justify the money I'm on. To be honest it's probably the poke I need to leave and get a job with less money, but less stress and a better working environment.
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If they are pushing you out make sure you get the redundancy money first (If your firm offer a package that is worth your while, which I hope they would seeing how long you have been with them). Don't make it easy on them by just leaving of your own accord. In the meantime try to compartmentalise any problems/stress in work and hold on to the positivity that you will get a better working environment out of this process.

As for outside of work all you can do in life is be the best version of you that you can be. If anyone has problems with that there is not a lot that can be done. The most important thing is to keep healthy by eating and sleeping as well as possible. Only by doing this will you be in a position to be able to keep someone else happy. If you still want to be with your wife, have you tried mixing up how you spend time together to try and improve things? That could be trying to go back to the sort of life you had while dating or if you still do those things try and find out what interests she has now and see if you can partake or at least provide support.

I'm not really one for self help books and alike but I saw this a while back and what he says has more than an element of truth to it and may or may not provide some use:

Whatever happens it is all an adventure and if a door slams in your face another invariably opens that provides a spark of excitement to see why life can be great.
 
goodisonopheliac said:
I thought I was OK and then I saw today's result and smashed my head against a wall.

It's not fair. It's not fair. Dammit. I don't want to be like this.
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To borrow a line from Porridge 'Don't let the b'stards grind you down!'

They are not worth it. Certainly not this piss poor bunch of millionaire playboys. While you feel like this and Everton are playing how they are, try to lower expectations so you think we are going to lose every game, hopefully then any result is a bonus and if we lose, well no big shock there.
 
Tommy F said:
You need to detach yourself from the impact of football on your soul. You are feeling the impact of the results probably more than many of the players who probably see it just as a job. Spread your interests and put it in perspective.
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I'm trying to. Right now I'm in a ton of pain from smashing my head against a wall last night.
 
goodisonopheliac said:
I'm trying to. Right now I'm in a ton of pain from smashing my head against a wall last night.
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Everton aren't worth your health. It's a club that's supposed to represent the best parts of Liverpool but doesn't always do that. Hope you manage to separate being a fan from your true identity. You're worth more than punishing yourself over this crap.
 

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