Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[MrD]

Mate I convinced myself I was happy for 11 years with my ex Mrs when in fact all I did was argue, and the time I wasn't arguing I was out acting like a single lad and being a complete divy.

We all make mistakes, doesn't matter how long for. The past is gone, you can make these changes if you choose to and want to change enough.

Come on, get up, dust yourself down and fight back. You have a daughter who is relying on you. You can do this mate, surround yourself with those you love.

I added to the above post i made sorry.

I just can't be that way. Get up and dust myself off sounds so casual and easy but I just want to sleep.

 

[YoboCopter]

I know everything that I hearing from you all is true. At this moment now, Im 41. Haven't worked for 18 years. I have no money, no job and no anything so the positivity is lost on me.

I'm mortally ashamed of that. I buried my head for 18 years, not 1, 3 or 4 years. 18.

I don't have a single friend. I don't have savings or a job to start me off. I have zero apart from BluRays and DVDs, a few [Poor language removed] clothes and that's it.

I could move back with my mum but we clash and it's about 90 minutes away from my.little girl.

The reality that I have to find a way to stay around here by her and live in some utter hellhole of a bedsit if I can get one or go to my mum's and at least be in a nice house but we clash. Either way is grim. Especially at 41, I should have a career, halfway through a mortgage and be a real man.

I want a job, I do, I want to be better I want to be a good dad. I want my little family back with my two special women.

I'm in total shock and I am struggling. It's embarrassing.

No job for 18 years? What have you actually done with yourself if ya dnt mind me asking?

 

[MrD]

No job for 18 years? What have you actually done with yourself if ya dnt mind me asking?

Nothing. Hidden, and watched my life pass me by while destroying my partner's life.
Leeching off her you could say. Not in a money grabbing way, she knew how I was i just wouldn't take the next step. Just fell into this way of life.

Feel ashamed for me, call me names and talk amongst your mates about the guy who hasn't worked for so long.

I'm properly ashamed of it. I quit my job in 2002 and done bits and bobs for a few years earning a few quid here and there. But no job job since 2002, so 17 years not 18.

This is why I'm struggling with the thought I used my depression and anxiety as an excuse to just exist and do nothing. I did suffer for a long time, it's not just laziness. I was bad I just never seemed to follow anything up.

Time races. I despise myself. Feel free to laugh at me. Nothing is an excuse. I done what I done whether it was sever depression or just a bit of denial or whatever. I wish I could go back and change it but I can't. I should have at the time though and now it's all gone wrong.

Totally my own fault.

Think I've said too.much. don't want to become a laughing stock.

 

[YoboCopter]

Nothing. Hidden, and watched my life pass me by while destroying my partner's life.
Leeching off her you could say. Not in a money grabbing way, she knew how I was i just wouldn't take the next step. Just fell into this way of life.

Feel ashamed for me, call me names and talk amongst your mates about the guy who hasn't worked for so long.

I'm properly ashamed of it. I quit my job in 2002 and done bits and bobs for a few years earning a few quid here and there. But no job job since 2002, so 17 years not 18.

This is why I'm struggling with the thought I used my depression and anxiety as an excuse to just exist and do nothing. I did suffer for a long time, it's not just laziness. I was bad I just never seemed to follow anything up.

Time races. I despise myself. Feel free to laugh at me. Nothing is an excuse. I done what I done whether it was sever depression or just a bit of denial or whatever. I wish I could go back and change it but I can't. I should have at the time though and now it's all gone wrong.

Totally my own fault.

Think I've said too.much. don't want to become a laughing stock.

You seem in a dark place, alls i will say is whats done is done you cant change that, so why worry about it? No body knows you havent had a job so your not a laughing stock..

Bang out cv’s, lie that youve done this and that cash in hand what ever, voulanteering what ever it takes, just get out ya comfort zone ( if you can call it that) and sort it out

Ya know what you need to do mate, imagine another 18 years of the same...

 

[roydo]

Nothing. Hidden, and watched my life pass me by while destroying my partner's life.
Leeching off her you could say. Not in a money grabbing way, she knew how I was i just wouldn't take the next step. Just fell into this way of life.

Feel ashamed for me, call me names and talk amongst your mates about the guy who hasn't worked for so long.

I'm properly ashamed of it. I quit my job in 2002 and done bits and bobs for a few years earning a few quid here and there. But no job job since 2002, so 17 years not 18.

This is why I'm struggling with the thought I used my depression and anxiety as an excuse to just exist and do nothing. I did suffer for a long time, it's not just laziness. I was bad I just never seemed to follow anything up.

Time races. I despise myself. Feel free to laugh at me. Nothing is an excuse. I done what I done whether it was sever depression or just a bit of denial or whatever. I wish I could fix it but I can't.

Well it takes some stones posting the stuff you have this evening for a start. Thats positive.

You know why you feel like crap, and what you have done to contribute to it. Again, believe me, thats positive as well.

Whatever has happened these last 17 years are now largely irrelevant. Nowt you can do about it, other than use that knowledge to make sure it doesnt happen again. And amongst all that, you have a daughter. So not all wasted, in my book anyrate.

You seem to have accepted some responsibility for where you are, which again, is good.

Point I am clumsily trying to make is that you are actually further down the road to some sort of recovery in your life than perhaps you actually feel.

 

[COYBL25]

Nothing. Hidden, and watched my life pass me by while destroying my partner's life.
Leeching off her you could say. Not in a money grabbing way, she knew how I was i just wouldn't take the next step. Just fell into this way of life.

Feel ashamed for me, call me names and talk amongst your mates about the guy who hasn't worked for so long.

I'm properly ashamed of it. I quit my job in 2002 and done bits and bobs for a few years earning a few quid here and there. But no job job since 2002, so 17 years not 18.

This is why I'm struggling with the thought I used my depression and anxiety as an excuse to just exist and do nothing. I did suffer for a long time, it's not just laziness. I was bad I just never seemed to follow anything up.

Time races. I despise myself. Feel free to laugh at me. Nothing is an excuse. I done what I done whether it was sever depression or just a bit of denial or whatever. I wish I could go back and change it but I can't. I should have at the time though and now it's all gone wrong.

Totally my own fault.

Think I've said too.much. don't want to become a laughing stock.

I found that doing voluntary stuff was a good way of getting back into the real world, very rewarding, you get to meet some incredibly selfless people and also puts your own problems massively into perspective mate.

The beauty of voluntary work is that you can pick and choose your own hours,

Looks good on a CV too.

 

[roydo]

I found that doing voluntary stuff was a good way of getting back into the real world, very rewarding, you get to meet some incredibly selfless people and also puts your own problems massively into perspective mate.

The beauty of voluntary work is that you can pick and choose your own hours,

Looks good on a CV too.

Yep, also, with Christmas round the corner, ish, and students going back to Uni soon, there will be plenty of supermarket jobs available soon. I looked at them before I settled on delivering parcels, still do actually. Was told just yesterday that my local Sainsburys will be hiring soon.

Busy, active, tons of folk to natter to.

 

[MrD]

I wouldn't mind a delivery job.

 

[roydo]

I wouldn't mind a delivery job.

Got access to a van, or a people carrier?

 

[MrD]

Got access to a van, or a people carrier?

No. do have an astra estate though.

 

[Frang]

Nothing. Hidden, and watched my life pass me by while destroying my partner's life.
Leeching off her you could say. Not in a money grabbing way, she knew how I was i just wouldn't take the next step. Just fell into this way of life.

Feel ashamed for me, call me names and talk amongst your mates about the guy who hasn't worked for so long.

I'm properly ashamed of it. I quit my job in 2002 and done bits and bobs for a few years earning a few quid here and there. But no job job since 2002, so 17 years not 18.

This is why I'm struggling with the thought I used my depression and anxiety as an excuse to just exist and do nothing. I did suffer for a long time, it's not just laziness. I was bad I just never seemed to follow anything up.

Time races. I despise myself. Feel free to laugh at me. Nothing is an excuse. I done what I done whether it was sever depression or just a bit of denial or whatever. I wish I could go back and change it but I can't. I should have at the time though and now it's all gone wrong.

Totally my own fault.

Think I've said too.much. don't want to become a laughing stock.

its not just you going through similar experiences mate. trust me

 

[roydo]

No. do have an astra estate though.

PM'd you mate.

 

[Deleted member 28206]

@MrD are you in Liverpool? Am sure a few of us can club together to get you some essentials if you need it

 

[AmericasToffee]

Nothing. Hidden, and watched my life pass me by while destroying my partner's life.
Leeching off her you could say. Not in a money grabbing way, she knew how I was i just wouldn't take the next step. Just fell into this way of life.

Feel ashamed for me, call me names and talk amongst your mates about the guy who hasn't worked for so long.

I'm properly ashamed of it. I quit my job in 2002 and done bits and bobs for a few years earning a few quid here and there. But no job job since 2002, so 17 years not 18.

This is why I'm struggling with the thought I used my depression and anxiety as an excuse to just exist and do nothing. I did suffer for a long time, it's not just laziness. I was bad I just never seemed to follow anything up.

Time races. I despise myself. Feel free to laugh at me. Nothing is an excuse. I done what I done whether it was sever depression or just a bit of denial or whatever. I wish I could go back and change it but I can't. I should have at the time though and now it's all gone wrong.

Totally my own fault.

Think I've said too.much. don't want to become a laughing stock.

The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. To hell with anyone laughing at you. They are imperfect and have their own faults.

 

[COYBL25]

I’ve got a van if you ever need anything shifting mate