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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Bryan said:
@MrD are you in Liverpool? Am sure a few of us can club together to get you some essentials if you need it
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AmericasToffee said:
The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. To hell with anyone laughing at you. They are imperfect and have their own faults.
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COYBL25 said:
I’ve got a van if you ever need anything shifting mate
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Thank you all. Not sure what I'm doing or where I'm going yet. But the kindness has made me cry. I'm a total stranger why would you help me?
 
Bryan said:
Blues, humans. Plus we have been there and know how it feels.

The offer stands, take your time mate. Do you have any family at all?
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Yes my mum in Liverpool (I moved to North Wales in 2010 from Liverpool) and my sister lives in the north east.
 

Bryan said:
Is your mum aware of what’s happened? If not, I don’t know how the relationship with her is but I would speak to her about it all.
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Yes she knows. They all know and have been supportive and said all the right things. I have two options really.

1, try and get some sort of universal credit thing set up which can help me get a place to stay albeit probably a dive.

Then try to cope with living alone with nothing while coming to terms with all this as well as the huge changes I have to make. I'm just worried being alone as I have no friends at all here, will keep me in a bad state of mind.
Staying in North Wales is close to my little girl.

Or...

2, stay at my mum's for a while until I get better etc but my mum won't let me be. She will be on me all the time putting pressure on me which I'm sure you all think is a good thing as it will keep me focused.

I'll have tension with my mum because of that, she is very set In her ways and her house is boring as anything but at least it's a home and I won't be alone.
Moving to Liverpool for a bit is about 80 minutes away from my little girl.

Pros and cons everywhere
 
MrD said:
I know everything that I hearing from you all is true. At this moment now, Im 41. Haven't worked for 18 years. I have no money, no job and no anything so the positivity is lost on me.

I'm mortally ashamed of that. I buried my head for 18 years, not 1, 3 or 4 years. 18.

I don't have a single friend. I don't have savings or a job to start me off. I have zero apart from BluRays and DVDs, a few [Poor language removed] clothes and that's it.

I could move back with my mum but we clash and it's about 90 minutes away from my.little girl.

The reality that I have to find a way to stay around here by her and live in some utter hellhole of a bedsit if I can get one or go to my mum's and at least be in a nice house but we clash. Either way is grim. Especially at 41, I should have a career, halfway through a mortgage and be a real man.

I want a job, I do, I want to be better I want to be a good dad. I want my little family back with my two special women.

I'm in total shock and I am struggling. It's embarrassing.
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“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

If you want a job and a career, you can get one, no problem. There are plenty of opportunities available. If you want some practical advice around going about that, feel free to message me as I can definitely give you some pointers.

It’s not going to be a breeze, but all great journeys start with one step. Make that first step mate and no matter what, stick it out for at least a year, your circumstances will improve, I guarantee.

You can have everything you listed there. It won’t even take you that long to achieve either. You’re 41, not 71! And believe me, in 5 years, you’ll wish you started today.
 

Mr.D, no one will laugh at u here mate. We post on here as we have all been through the mill to one extent or another. I'm guessing u half expecting people to say 'get a grip' etc, people on here generally know that doesn't help. If I told most people my anxieties they would probably laugh at me but they scare the s$%t out of me. It's all relative. Anxiety/depression/stress is debilitating and clearly so in your case.
Doesn't mean u cant change things though. As u will see in these posts, things can be turned around. Set your self small, realistic targets and start building on them. Get on the right meds and access Cbt through your Gp. Good luck fella.
.
 
MrD said:
Yes she knows. They all know and have been supportive and said all the right things. I have two options really.

1, try and get some sort of universal credit thing set up which can help me get a place to stay albeit probably a dive.

Then try to cope with living alone with nothing while coming to terms with all this as well as the huge changes I have to make. I'm just worried being alone as I have no friends at all here, will keep me in a bad state of mind.
Staying in North Wales is close to my little girl.

Or...

2, stay at my mum's for a while until I get better etc but my mum won't let me be. She will be on me all the time putting pressure on me which I'm sure you all think is a good thing as it will keep me focused.

I'll have tension with my mum because of that, she is very set In her ways and her house is boring as anything but at least it's a home and I won't be alone.
Moving to Liverpool for a bit is about 80 minutes away from my little girl.

Pros and cons everywhere
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You need to do what`s best for you mate and follow the path that leads to you getting better / getting your life back.

Could you`re daughter not come to stay with you at the weekends if you decided to go back to your mums ?

I appreciate that this may not be possible due to her mum.
 
MrD said:
You're all so strong and very sensible. Thank you for the kind words. It does mean a lot to me even if I can't share the optimism at the moment.
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We deffo aint strong L. We have just all been in similar situations. And we recognise a lad we all were.

Helpful and supportive I will grant you. You reach out, this amazing community will do their best to be a weird online mate.
 

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