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AmericasToffee
Player Valuation: £40m
I know something of what you are going through. I was apart from my family by about 12 hours for four years. Sadly the time I moved away coincided with the time my pa started going downhill big time. I watch him get worse and worse. Each time I left I wasn't sure what I would come back to. As the end of those four years approached, I wasn't sure if I would come back to see my father alive. And eventually that became true. One weekend my mom knew dad was going quickly. I went home to spend time with him on Friday and Saturday. It took me a long time to leave my vehicle and walk into the hospital on that Saturday. I knew it very well could be the last time I see my dad alive in person. I put on a brave face when I was with him that day. We watched some american football and just spent time together. I spent about ten minutes in my vehicle crying after I walked out as I knew the reality that could be it. I called my ma and cried some more. Sure enough, I was on a recruiting trip the following week and on the Friday of that week, the hospice nurse called me to say that dad was near the end. And hour laters he was gone at the age of 59.
Looking back on it, I had the absolute blessing of being able to see my dad in person in his last days. I got to spend time with dad as he was in something close to peace. I got to tell my dad, face to face, that I love him and no matter what happens I will always love him. You have that same opportunity my friend. You still have your wife. As heartbreaking as it is to know she may be slipping, you still have her. Don't let that slip away - and it sounds like you aren't. Make the most of every day you have left with your beautiful wife. I wish you strength and peace in the days to come.
AmericasToffee
Player Valuation: £40m
I actually came in here to share this. Regardless of your worldview and spirituality, this is applicable. A beautiful sentiment from an American tv personality
Glasshalffull
Player Valuation: £10m
Thanks very much for going to the time, trouble, and possibly revisited pain, to share your story. I'm sorry you suffered such a loss and glad you have come to terms with it. The story has helped me a little.
Of all the various hard things about my situation, I do find the need to put on a brave face and radiate a false cheeriness during visits to be the hardest thing. Those last four steps before entering her room are absolute killers. I'll try to think of the things I've been told on here and maybe it will be a little less hard.
Thanks again to you, mate, and the various others offering support. Means a lot, maybe more so because I don't know anyone personally. Cheers, all.
Glasshalffull
Player Valuation: £10m
I'm afraid I can't yet bring myself to watch this. In my current circumstances, if someone said to me, "existence comes with suffering", I'd immediately supply them with practical proof of their contention by planting my fist in their face. Sorry.
I'm so sorry. Two years ago I sat with my Dad and brother in the Royal for almost twenty seven hours watching my Mum breathe her last. She had been ill for many months. My dad held her hand and for both my brother and I, it was an honour for us to watch the gentleness and tenderness as their 57 year marriage ended. She knew he was there - i spite of appearing to be deeply asleep. Her last word after many hours of silence was his name.Your wife will know you are with her and she will be happy that you are. It does not make it any easier for you and does not take away the pain you feel but cherish these moments that you have together.
zzr45
#MURDERINGSCUM
Past few weeks I’ve struggled at times to differentiate between dreams and reality - been sleepwalking a lot - dreamt one time about needing to open a door to unleash my potential and was stood at the bedroom door trying to open it apparently.
Woke up a few weeks ago after a dream my missus had been replaced to spy on me. Woke up and poked her a few times to ensure she was really. Definitely been a few times where dream themes etc have carried on for 5-10 mins after waking, so holding false beliefs etc. Thankfully most of those mornings I’m alone so can’t do any harm to anyone until I snap out of it.
Anyone had similar? Possibly linked to anxiety/stress.
Woke up a few weeks ago after a dream my missus had been replaced to spy on me. Woke up and poked her a few times to ensure she was really. Definitely been a few times where dream themes etc have carried on for 5-10 mins after waking, so holding false beliefs etc. Thankfully most of those mornings I’m alone so can’t do any harm to anyone until I snap out of it.
Anyone had similar? Possibly linked to anxiety/stress.
Glasshalffull
Player Valuation: £10m
Thanks very much for this. Sadly, my wife died at 4.00 this morning, so I'm not in a state to say much more. I will be ok, though. Thanks again everyone.
Sounds stress related that mate, stuff going on in work ?
zzr45
#MURDERINGSCUM
The usual boredom really. Rugby season kicks in within a few weeks so it’ll hopefully alleviate that a bit! Does mean my bank account should get a bit fatter as well - that’s been a bit of a concern
Frang
Player Valuation: £70m
soo ive tapered down off the 40mg to 20mg to nothing (for 3 days) of fluexitine and gone back on to Citalapram 20mg
im already feeling a lot better within myself , im feeling awfully tired and have slept a lot, not in a depressed sense but just totally worn out.
to be honest the last 12 months have seen me chopping and changing meds and trying to find the best ones for me, in the end it has just worn me out.
taking the wrong ones on a high dose, tapering down and what comes with it and then starting new meds which takes weeks to kick in properly all has had an adverse affect on my well being.
im determined to stick to this citalopram now, Im just hoping the nightmares subside …
got my HGV theory tests on Tuesday and need to be on point to make sure I pass .. plenty of good sleep needed.
ive got theory first in the morning, hazard perception test at midday and then CPC test in the afternoon.. im not very good in test enviroments and this will be super hard for me to do all in one day.
im already feeling a lot better within myself , im feeling awfully tired and have slept a lot, not in a depressed sense but just totally worn out.
to be honest the last 12 months have seen me chopping and changing meds and trying to find the best ones for me, in the end it has just worn me out.
taking the wrong ones on a high dose, tapering down and what comes with it and then starting new meds which takes weeks to kick in properly all has had an adverse affect on my well being.
im determined to stick to this citalopram now, Im just hoping the nightmares subside …
got my HGV theory tests on Tuesday and need to be on point to make sure I pass .. plenty of good sleep needed.
ive got theory first in the morning, hazard perception test at midday and then CPC test in the afternoon.. im not very good in test enviroments and this will be super hard for me to do all in one day.
Gone blind in my right eye completely. Been progressively getting worse since 2013, but went two weeks ago. Got me down a lot, back on SSRIs at the moment just to ease myself back into a better place.