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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

MrD said:
So I had a look at tinder. Didn't know much about it apart from people hooking up. No idea how it works and everything seems hidden behind pay walls. Few women have "liked" me but can't see them.

That's the end of that!
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Hint: The women who like you will always appear after you've done a few swipes. You can usually work out who they are from their fuzzy pics, when they appear through swiping. Don't pay money for Tinder or POF.
 

I had a small problem a couple of weeks ago regarding not really being able to afford a cycling weekend away with about 60 others that leaves tomorrow. I dithered over whether I would go or not and basically buried my head in the sand, talking to nobody about it because I didn't want to admit to having problems or let anybody down... as a consequence, everybody is now angry at me because I didn't communicate with them. Basically, I took a small problem and made a big one out of fear.

Need to tell my girlfriend this morning that I'm not going (she's going and riding with her friend) and that I made a problem for myself and she's gonna go ape.

I'm literally shaking and sweating whilst I'm sat at my desk.
 
Disgruntledgoat said:
I had a small problem a couple of weeks ago regarding not really being able to afford a cycling weekend away with about 60 others that leaves tomorrow. I dithered over whether I would go or not and basically buried my head in the sand, talking to nobody about it because I didn't want to admit to having problems or let anybody down... as a consequence, everybody is now angry at me because I didn't communicate with them. Basically, I took a small problem and made a big one out of fear.

Need to tell my girlfriend this morning that I'm not going (she's going and riding with her friend) and that I made a problem for myself and she's gonna go ape.

I'm literally shaking and sweating whilst I'm sat at my desk.
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Once they all get together, start having a laugh and start the ride, they’ll forget about you mate - don’t mean this in a nasty way !

Your missus will forgive you in time, but I’m sure you’ll be made to pay in other ways !!!!

As one of my female mates says, men always follow the path of least resistance.
 

COYBL25 said:
Once they all get together, start having a laugh and start the ride, they’ll forget about you mate - don’t mean this in a nasty way !

Your missus will forgive you in time, but I’m sure you’ll be made to pay in other ways !!!!

As one of my female mates says, men always follow the path of least resistance.
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I understand. The angry e-mail last night was a real "Kick yourself" moment. Felt like crap all evening and still didn't say anything.

Oh and the slight complicating factor is my GF is the owner of the bar that sponsors the team.
 
Disgruntledgoat said:
I understand. The angry e-mail last night was a real "Kick yourself" moment. Felt like crap all evening and still didn't say anything.

Oh and the slight complicating factor is my GF is the owner of the bar that sponsors the team.
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Why is it so imperative to them that you do come? Do they lose out on money or something if you don’t turn up?

Just looking for some more context. 1 drop out from 60 isn’t going to go amiss! No offence of course.

Sure they might feel you could have told them sooner but if you can’t afford it you can’t afford it.
 
Nymzee said:
Why is it so imperative to them that you do come? Do they lose out on money or something if you don’t turn up?

Just looking for some more context. 1 drop out from 60 isn’t going to go amiss! No offence of course.

Sure they might feel you could have told them sooner but if you can’t afford it you can’t afford it.
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FOr one guy it's quite important as we ride in pairs... But I just called him to apologise. He was pretty mad. Not a nice experience but hey, I did that to myself.

The way they work is they provide everything for you for the weekend and split the cost across everybody who goes. So on their costings they're €90 down now. And my girlfriend was really looking forward to it and thinks I've spoiled her fun too.

I could punch myself in the face sometimes.
 
Disgruntledgoat said:
FOr one guy it's quite important as we ride in pairs... But I just called him to apologise. He was pretty mad. Not a nice experience but hey, I did that to myself.

The way they work is they provide everything for you for the weekend and split the cost across everybody who goes. So on their costings they're €90 down now. And my girlfriend was really looking forward to it and thinks I've spoiled her fun too.

I could punch myself in the face sometimes.
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Ah so the group remaining owes your €90 then? I dunno, it seems overblown in my opinion. You couldn’t afford it, I’m sure you’ll pay them back when you can. If 59 people can’t cover €90 I’ll eat my shoes.

Don’t worry about something like this if you’re already worrying about money troubles. Just a lesson learned for next time you commit to something with a cost you may not be able to cover.
 
Nymzee said:
Ah so the group remaining owes your €90 then? I dunno, it seems overblown in my opinion. You couldn’t afford it, I’m sure you’ll pay them back when you can. If 59 people can’t cover €90 I’ll eat my shoes.

Don’t worry about something like this if you’re already worrying about money troubles. Just a lesson learned for next time you commit to something with a cost you may not be able to cover.
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The money isn't even an issue now. I can pay them back today. I just panicked and made a small problem worse by reacting stupidly.

I've just emailed the organiser to apologise as well.

Small problems but I let my mind run away with me and panic. I've been losing sleep over this.
 

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