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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Nymzee said:
If you can pay can’t you just go?
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It's too late now. Was supposed to be sorted weeks ago and I got a really angry e-mail from the organiser last night.

I really feel like I messed people around and let them down and all because I was too embarrassed/scared to talk to people about my small problems. I feel like an absolute idiot and am beating myself up.

But anyway. It's small potatoes compared to other people's issues.
 
Disgruntledgoat said:
It's too late now. Was supposed to be sorted weeks ago and I got a really angry e-mail from the organiser last night.

I really feel like I messed people around and let them down and all because I was too embarrassed/scared to talk to people about my small problems. I feel like an absolute idiot and am beating myself up.

But anyway. It's small potatoes compared to other people's issues.
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A problem is a problem mate, don't compare it to others if you're struggling. I know how you feel. It's awful living with regret. It's so easy to sit there asking yourself why you done something. Sadly, the only real advice is that it's done now. Can't go back and change it but you can fix it. May take time but an apology is all you can do. It's up to others if they accept it or not.

As for your girlfriend it'll be ok. Just make her understand you made a mistake. She may give you the attitude for a week or two but it'll be sound if you show her you're sorry. Hope you're ok pal.
 
Disgruntledgoat said:
It's too late now. Was supposed to be sorted weeks ago and I got a really angry e-mail from the organiser last night.

I really feel like I messed people around and let them down and all because I was too embarrassed/scared to talk to people about my small problems. I feel like an absolute idiot and am beating myself up.

But anyway. It's small potatoes compared to other people's issues.
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They sound like a gang of petty bell ends . Don’t let them get you down mate .
 
stumps1878 said:
They sound like a gang of petty bell ends . Don’t let them get you down mate .
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Nah mate, they're all sound. This one's on me. I understand their frustration and I've been in touch to apologise and explain.

Thanks everybody. I'd been sweating on that all week. The guy I was going to ride with was fuming like, he thought i'd just jibbed it off and CBA he was even going to pay for me if I had bothered to pick up the phone.

Self sabotage is a bad habit of mine.
 

Two weeks at this group therapy session stuff (Ha! not ABGT tho cc @Paris)

anyway, some really basic stuff being spoken about and its good to hear someone else say the things you feel about, its defo been worth it. They have said if you want to do the 1-2-1 stuff you have to do the initial 6 week course, which i will likely prefer, they are all very self aware of ' dont worry we aren't gonna ask you to stand up and pour your heart and soul out', they appreciate the actual attendance is likely difficult enough for most (All i'd say tbh)

Learnt this yesterday. SMART goals, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMART_criteria -- as iv'e sad, loads of is is common sense, but applying common sense is dead hard when you're down and don't wanna apply yourself. Yes, of course exercise and setting goals is motivating but its chicken and egg, and some people cant exercise so we have to be a little more canny with ourselves. What i've learnt despite all and everything is don't or try not to beat yourself up, its mentally draining. Only we can help ourselves and by demeaning and ripping ourselves apart just makes it so so much harder.
 
Bryan said:
What i've learnt despite all and everything is don't or try not to beat yourself up, its mentally draining. Only we can help ourselves and by demeaning and ripping ourselves apart just makes it so so much harder.
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This is something I just can't do. I have tried. I can't do it.

I fkd up again last night....I know you guys told me not to but I just get these sudden bursts of bad ideas.

I sent my ex a long email telling her how much I love her and going into detail describing the way I want to change and how we can try again. I was lonely and sad, I buckled and sent it.

I got no reply. She sent me a snotty message today about our daughter. I asked her why is she being snotty and it just ended up in brutal messages about how awful I was for 9 years. How I totally took the pizz, how I treated her, how much she resents me and lots more.

I feel awful now.i know all this, I just fooled myself into thinking a lovely email would help. It hasn't. I had a cry to myself. I'm just so regretful and unhappy.

I think I have to take all responsibility for this, for our relationship. Instead of trying to make it mutual I must admit it was all me. I had everything I ever dreamed of and I blew it big time. BIG TIME!

I have to deal with it and accept it's all on me. I shouldn't try and find ways of making it better. I broke it and it's broke forever.

She is great, I was awful.

Why can't I stop thinking!

Sorry if I've let anyone and their good advice down.

I may leave this site, I don't want people to get sick of me and my stuff. Don't want to burn any bridges after all the help, care and advice I've had
 

MrD said:
I deserve to feel like this. I'm sure you're all sick of me, I'm sick of myself!
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Keep going mate. The trend is upwards. Regret is only useful if you learn from it. If you feel responsible, then make sure you improve and grow in way that ensures it doesn't happen again.

But don't let anybody make you feel you're useless and have nothing to offer. I spent too long in that hole and theres nothing good down there.
 
Disgruntledgoat said:
Nah mate, they're all sound. This one's on me. I understand their frustration and I've been in touch to apologise and explain.

Thanks everybody. I'd been sweating on that all week. The guy I was going to ride with was fuming like, he thought i'd just jibbed it off and CBA he was even going to pay for me if I had bothered to pick up the phone.

Self sabotage is a bad habit of mine.
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Everyone makes mistakes. Don't beat yourself up mate. Think of the person most important to you and imagine if they made the same mistake - talk to yourself as you'd talk to them about it. There's probably a big difference.
 
Billy Dean said:
Everyone makes mistakes. Don't beat yourself up mate. Think of the person most important to you and imagine if they made the same mistake - talk to yourself as you'd talk to them about it. There's probably a big difference.
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Good advice. That was pretty much how my girlfriend spoke to me last night. Just said you've made a mistake and annoyed some people who have every right to feel messed about, but you've explained yourself, it's not the end of the world and at least you recognize how you brought the problem on yourself.

Organiser guy still wants to have a "serious chat" though. So that'll be fun.
 

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