Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[davids]

I’m not mate, I moved to London a few years ago for work and it’s lonely here. I’m from Stoke originally, that’s how I know Adam.

Might not work for you but it did for me,after a life changing illness I was suffering from PTSD and decided to change my life to do voluntary work. The Simon Community in Gospel Oak do soup and tea runs for the homeless. I did it full-time but you can do what fits in with work commitments. Spending time with people with so little can help give your own life some perspective and you can meet some really interesting people both on the streets and other volunteers.

 

[COYBL25]

Might not work for you but it did for me,after a life changing illness I was suffering from PTSD and decided to change my life to do voluntary work. The Simon Community in Gospel Oak do soup and tea runs for the homeless. I did it full-time but you can do what fits in with work commitments. Spending time with people with so little can help give your own life some perspective and you can meet some really interesting people both on the streets and other volunteers.

Spot on, I`ve done voluntary work for years now and as well as being incredibly rewarding I`ve made some very good friends from it along the way too.

 

[AmericasToffee]

Anyone heard from @MrD?

 

[COYBL25]

Anyone heard from @MrD?

Last Saturday ?

 

[stumps1878]

Jaguar worker found dead today rumour it was suicide . Horrible

 

[MrD]

Anyone heard from @MrD?

Last Saturday ?

Hey fellas. Thanks for thinking of me.

If anyone wants a small update well, I'm doing ok. Slipped back into a rut of not doing much. It's nothing bad but I'm staying up late again and either getting up dead early if I have to do something like take my daughter to school or an appointment or I'm sleeping till the afternoon.

I know I shouldn't. I really do but I just find it easier to stay in. Gotta change it!

Also, found out that my ex is going to visit my mum even though I told her I'm not happy about it and they themselves have said before that my ex is being a pure bitch to me. To make it worse my sister is going too so it's a family visit where I wasn't told let alone invited. (I wouldn't have went anyway but there seems to be no loyalty on their part. Well, not loyalty but I just think it's a bit sad)

I've been given an appointment to assess my mental health needs. Not sure what that entails but I doubt it's counselling. Maybe just a chat to see if I'm actually in need of it.

Aaaaaaanyway, hope everyone is well. Not been on here much so I have a few posts to catch up on.

Everton are awful, they don't help my mood

 

[efcforever]

Hey fellas. Thanks for thinking of me.

If anyone wants a small update well, I'm doing ok. Slipped back into a rut of not doing much. It's nothing bad but I'm staying up late again and either getting up dead early if I have to do something like take my daughter to school or an appointment or I'm sleeping till the afternoon.

I know I shouldn't. I really do but I just find it easier to stay in. Gotta change it!

Also, found out that my ex is going to visit my mum even though I told her I'm not happy about it and they themselves have said before that my ex is being a pure bitch to me. To make it worse my sister is going too so it's a family visit where I wasn't told let alone invited. (I wouldn't have went anyway but there seems to be no loyalty on their part. Well, not loyalty but I just think it's a bit sad)

I've been given an appointment to assess my mental health needs. Not sure what that entails but I doubt it's counselling. Maybe just a chat to see if I'm actually in need of it.

Aaaaaaanyway, hope everyone is well. Not been on here much so I have a few posts to catch up on.

Everton are awful, they don't help my mood

Hi mate.

I think as others have suggested, some voluntary work would be good for you. It would get you out and chatting to people. I bet loads of charities are looking for volunteers with Xmas coming up.

 

[COYBL25]

Hi mate.

I think as others have suggested, some voluntary work would be good for you. It would get you out and chatting to people. I bet loads of charities are looking for volunteers with Xmas coming up.

There’s also loads of part time jobs around at Christmas too, firms like the Post Office etc take lots of casual staff on.

 

[MrD]

Hi mate.

I think as others have suggested, some voluntary work would be good for you. It would get you out and chatting to people. I bet loads of charities are looking for volunteers with Xmas coming up.

There’s also loads of part time jobs around at Christmas too, firms like the Post Office etc take lots of casual staff on.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to do something. It's a major hurdle for me especially with my appearance issues. I just hate people looking at me and dealing with the looks and comments about how tired I always look.

For those that don't know, I have dark circles around my eyes and eye bags. Doesn't sound bad to people but to me it's dictated my life. I hate it. Times when I've braved it and gone out without my cap on I've had people as soon as they see me say things like "Jesus you look done in" or "late night lol"

Even got told I look like a drug addict once. That was a major bad thing. Sent me downwards fast.

I know it sounds trivial, it is as I see other people who look loads worse than me.....but I utterly hate my face, hate being in this body.

So, when I have to work I'll have to do so without my cap to be able to hide my face. It'll be like going out naked. Bright lights, unflattering lighting and all that everyday stuff no one thinks of all make me look worse. It's ruined my life.

I want a job, want a routine, want money and like everyone tells me it gives you a sense of self worth and pride. It's just the face!

Please don't judge me for that. I know it may be trivial to everyone and that I shouldn't worry about it but I do.

People telling me to ignore it and all that is easy for them to say.

All my ex girlfriends have been red hot so I can't be that bad. I just have zero confidence and I'm terrified to be seen without my lid on. Causes major stress and I've had severe anxiety attacks over it.

It's been the cause of my last 2 relationships breaking up.

Also, it's not easy to find a new girlfriend. How can I tell someone what I am and that I don't work. The first thing most women ask is "what do you do for work" etc.

Anyway, I'm aware it comes across as a bit pathetic. It just rules my life.

Now, I do enjoy having time to do my own thing with not working. I like to learn and create so I have time for that.

Sadly though, I'm also bored often. The PS4 gets booted up and I just exist for a day or two.

I DO have to change it. I just have zero motivation to do so and it's cost me everything.

One thing I'm going to mention to my GP is testosterone deficiency. Something I only learnt about from the radio the other week. Clutching at straws but I've had blood tests, thyroid tests and nothing is wrong.

 

[Deleted member 38674]

Sadly though, I'm also bored often. The PS4 gets booted up and I just exist for a day or two.

I DO have to change it. I just have zero motivation to do so and it's cost me everything.

This phrase by Tony Robbins helped me once.

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

Necessity is the mother of invention and all that. Things can always get better, but in your opinion could your current situation get worse? If so, it may be that you can tolerate things as they are, it may be that things need to get worse before they get better.

Stay strong mate, things will get better but, to move forward, you may have to force yourself to make some uncomfortable steps. To put yourself into the light and in the midst of people.

I know it’s easier us saying it than you actually doing it but we’re here with you bud. Keep talking, keep sharing.

 

[EdwardJ2306]

Hi all,

An update

Thank you for the replies and likes. I hadn't realised that people could care like that.
It's been a rough couple of days and why I've not posted on here as well.
I did originally have a gp appointment on Friday, booked it ages ago. But I cancelled. In hindsight I don't know why, but I just didn't want to waste their time and get the same old answer of self referral. Just a doubt, I just didn't want to do it. No idea why.
It just feels like everything is going sour again. I'm back in work tomorrow, after two weeks off, but I just don't feel ready or want to go back. I don't feel like anything has progressed at all. I'm currently trying to change my status from single but nothing's working (never been on a date or been in a relationship in my life), Everton are doing rubbish and bringing my mood down. And I can't bring myself to do a video yet for YouTube.
I just feel so distant now, from people I know and love, and myself.

I want the motivation to get that doctors appointment, and go to work, but I just don't have it.

 

[BluePaul86]

Yeah, I'm gonna have to do something. It's a major hurdle for me especially with my appearance issues. I just hate people looking at me and dealing with the looks and comments about how tired I always look.

For those that don't know, I have dark circles around my eyes and eye bags. Doesn't sound bad to people but to me it's dictated my life. I hate it. Times when I've braved it and gone out without my cap on I've had people as soon as they see me say things like "Jesus you look done in" or "late night lol"

Even got told I look like a drug addict once. That was a major bad thing. Sent me downwards fast.

I know it sounds trivial, it is as I see other people who look loads worse than me.....but I utterly hate my face, hate being in this body.

So, when I have to work I'll have to do so without my cap to be able to hide my face. It'll be like going out naked. Bright lights, unflattering lighting and all that everyday stuff no one thinks of all make me look worse. It's ruined my life.

I want a job, want a routine, want money and like everyone tells me it gives you a sense of self worth and pride. It's just the face!

Please don't judge me for that. I know it may be trivial to everyone and that I shouldn't worry about it but I do.

People telling me to ignore it and all that is easy for them to say.

All my ex girlfriends have been red hot so I can't be that bad. I just have zero confidence and I'm terrified to be seen without my lid on. Causes major stress and I've had severe anxiety attacks over it.

It's been the cause of my last 2 relationships breaking up.

Also, it's not easy to find a new girlfriend. How can I tell someone what I am and that I don't work. The first thing most women ask is "what do you do for work" etc.

Anyway, I'm aware it comes across as a bit pathetic. It just rules my life.

Now, I do enjoy having time to do my own thing with not working. I like to learn and create so I have time for that.

Sadly though, I'm also bored often. The PS4 gets booted up and I just exist for a day or two.

I DO have to change it. I just have zero motivation to do so and it's cost me everything.

One thing I'm going to mention to my GP is testosterone deficiency. Something I only learnt about from the radio the other week. Clutching at straws but I've had blood tests, thyroid tests and nothing is wrong.

I know how you feel about your appearance mate because I have the same feelings about myself. I hate my appearance, like yourself I have a very tired look around my eyes and get the same jokes said about me. I'm also getting very thin hair on top, it's hereditary as my dad + grandad also went bald very early. It doesn't suit me though because I have a youngish face. Just something I'll have to get used to. I've also believe myself to be ugly and unlike you I've never had any red hot girlfriends so I must be lol. Joking aside I've always had a low confidence about my appearance and hate having photos taken as I can't look at myself without thinking about how ugly I am and how others must see me.

 

[stumps1878]

I know how you feel about your appearance mate because I have the same feelings about myself. I hate my appearance, like yourself I have a very tired look around my eyes and get the same jokes said about me. I'm also getting very thin hair on top, it's hereditary as my dad + grandad also went bald very early. It doesn't suit me though because I have a youngish face. Just something I'll have to get used to. I've also believe myself to be ugly and unlike you I've never had any red hot girlfriends so I must be lol. Joking aside I've always had a low confidence about my appearance and hate having photos taken as I can't look at myself without thinking about how ugly I am and how others must see me.

Lads I’ve got the full house

Bald , grey , fat , short with a cock eye .

God had a day off when I was made

 

[MrD]

I just feel so distant now, from people I know and love, and myself.

I want the motivation to get that doctors appointment, and go to work, but I just don't have it.

I know that feeling mate. It sucks.

I know how you feel about your appearance mate because I have the same feelings about myself. I hate my appearance, like yourself I have a very tired look around my eyes and get the same jokes said about me. I'm also getting very thin hair on top, it's hereditary as my dad + grandad also went bald very early. It doesn't suit me though because I have a youngish face. Just something I'll have to get used to. I've also believe myself to be ugly and unlike you I've never had any red hot girlfriends so I must be lol. Joking aside I've always had a low confidence about my appearance and hate having photos taken as I can't look at myself without thinking about how ugly I am and how others must see me.

Jesus mate, you sound exactly like me (apart from the hair). I can't stand being on camera. Many times in the past i've been caught out or forced to have a photo and when i've seen myself it's knocked me down really hard. I hate it and people just don't understand. It's so easy to say nice things when it's not them dealing with it. Plus, it seems most people i look at look really awake and "Normal". It's really hard and it's dictated my life totally. It's changed me from a confident, outgoing person to a miserable, hateful recluse. I've lost everything because of it.

I know now that it's not going away. All the years i've wasted hoping that one day i'll wake up and look good make me sick. I should accept it but it's the looks and listening to people say throw away comments that i can't handle.

Nothing worse than on a day when i feel ok, think i don't look that bad.....Then boom, someone says something like "Bloody hell you look rough". Hate it. I'm ugly, i hate my appearance, hate the person i am, hate my personality. Just hate being in this body.

Lads I’ve got the full house

Bald , grey , fat , short with a cock eye .

God had a day off when I was made

I was made from the spare parts bin!

 

[stumps1878]

I know that feeling mate. It sucks.

Jesus mate, you sound exactly like me (apart from the hair). I can't stand being on camera. Many times in the past i've been caught out or forced to have a photo and when i've seen myself it's knocked me down really hard. I hate it and people just don't understand. It's so easy to say nice things when it's not them dealing with it. Plus, it seems most people i look at look really awake and "Normal". It's really hard and it's dictated my life totally. It's changed me from a confident, outgoing person to a miserable, hateful recluse. I've lost everything because of it.

I know now that it's not going away. All the years i've wasted hoping that one day i'll wake up and look good make me sick. I should accept it but it's the looks and listening to people say throw away comments that i can't handle.

Nothing worse than on a day when i feel ok, think i don't look that bad.....Then boom, someone says something like "Bloody hell you look rough". Hate it. I'm ugly, i hate my appearance, hate the person i am, hate my personality. Just hate being in this body.

I was made from the spare parts bin!

I was a fat raggy doll that came to life