Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Disgruntledgoat]

About the only thing about my job I like is that if I arrive early I can go home early, leaving me more time to do things I actually enjoy. The rest is a pointless, if well paid grind.

This morning my train was cancelled meaning I have an hour less of my own time tonight and I have to stay an extra hour in the office. I actually cried in the station.

The problem is that every other job I look at looks just as pointless and boring and I already failed at all my dream jobs. Surely the next 40 years can't be this miserable

 

[Bungle]

About the only thing about my job I like is that if I arrive early I can go home early, leaving me more time to do things I actually enjoy. The rest is a pointless, if well paid grind.

This morning my train was cancelled meaning I have an hour less of my own time tonight and I have to stay an extra hour in the office. I actually cried in the station.

The problem is that every other job I look at looks just as pointless and boring and I already failed at all my dream jobs. Surely the next 40 years can't be this miserable

If you continue to support Everton I have bad news for you.

 

[dano195]

Been off here for a while but need to vent a bit.
Getting married this year, anxiety has hit a all time high. Things I used to do day to day im avoiding massively. I play football at a pretty ok level and been claiming i'm injured for a while now to avoid going. Haven't had a haircut for about 3 months as the thought of sitting in a chair and not being able to move for the duration of the haircut is horrible. Even at work I dealt with customers with ease previously, now I avoid contact at all costs. Anxiety is eating away at me recently and finding life hard to deal with.

 

[Tipp blue]

About the only thing about my job I like is that if I arrive early I can go home early, leaving me more time to do things I actually enjoy. The rest is a pointless, if well paid grind.

This morning my train was cancelled meaning I have an hour less of my own time tonight and I have to stay an extra hour in the office. I actually cried in the station.

The problem is that every other job I look at looks just as pointless and boring and I already failed at all my dream jobs. Surely the next 40 years can't be this miserable

I've been through that it's tough, a knot in your stomach every day it's a horrible situation to be in.. I ended up back at college and landed a job that I absolutely love, even when I'm on holidays I'm looking forward to getting back, not as well paid as previous jobs but satisfaction is at an all time high, don't give up looking there's a job out there that you'll love but it's up to you to find it.

 

[collymcd]

About the only thing about my job I like is that if I arrive early I can go home early, leaving me more time to do things I actually enjoy. The rest is a pointless, if well paid grind.

This morning my train was cancelled meaning I have an hour less of my own time tonight and I have to stay an extra hour in the office. I actually cried in the station.

The problem is that every other job I look at looks just as pointless and boring and I already failed at all my dream jobs. Surely the next 40 years can't be this miserable

That's tough mate. Keep hanging in there though. You never know who or what is going to waltz in to your life if you keep plugging away.

I know this is just a forum for casual discussion but when you post I always take notice. Your style of writing is fantastic. Feels like I'm reading The Economist at times. The Evertonist. Except I suppose that'd be a really sad magazine for a really sad football club. But really, keep trying things and keep failing until you hit something.

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

 

[COYBL25]

Been off here for a while but need to vent a bit.
Getting married this year, anxiety has hit a all time high. Things I used to do day to day im avoiding massively. I play football at a pretty ok level and been claiming i'm injured for a while now to avoid going. Haven't had a haircut for about 3 months as the thought of sitting in a chair and not being able to move for the duration of the haircut is horrible. Even at work I dealt with customers with ease previously, now I avoid contact at all costs. Anxiety is eating away at me recently and finding life hard to deal with.

You need to go and get help mate, start with your GP and he / she will send you to a therapist.

The very real danger with anxiety like you’re experiencing is that you end locked in a vicious cycle, where not only do you avoid everything and everyone, but you end you becoming worried about being worried.

As mad as it sounds, your brain has reprogrammed it’s self to avoid anything stressful - anxiety and now can’t switch off.

A therapist will help you understand what’s going on and hopefully help reset your brain.

Exercise is great for relieving anxiety too ( from my own experiences)

Was there a trigger or was it a gradual thing ?

 

[blue1948]

Time of year where I particularly struggle- the run up to my birthday I’m always particularly antsy. Whether that’s part of the whole part of January being a particularly crap month or just the general hatred of getting older.

getting out of bed is tough at the minute. No enthusiasm for anything. Just want everything to do one.

Cast your mind forward to the spring ,everything bursting into new life beautiful colours .Try to feel renewed every spring ,I taught myself to do it years ago .
If you need inspiration go in a gardening center look at the flowers and the seeds for planting .For me it worked let's hope it does for you to.

 

[blue1948]

Been off here for a while but need to vent a bit.
Getting married this year, anxiety has hit a all time high. Things I used to do day to day im avoiding massively. I play football at a pretty ok level and been claiming i'm injured for a while now to avoid going. Haven't had a haircut for about 3 months as the thought of sitting in a chair and not being able to move for the duration of the haircut is horrible. Even at work I dealt with customers with ease previously, now I avoid contact at all costs. Anxiety is eating away at me recently and finding life hard to deal with.

Is it that you are worrying your life will change forever? That you will no longer have to worry about only yourself? Life after marriage does change but 95% is in your head ,she is the same woman you are the same guy .You will still need to go to the loo ,eat ,sleep all those normal things .
You can do it but get your bloody hair cut !

 

[blue1948]

About the only thing about my job I like is that if I arrive early I can go home early, leaving me more time to do things I actually enjoy. The rest is a pointless, if well paid grind.

This morning my train was cancelled meaning I have an hour less of my own time tonight and I have to stay an extra hour in the office. I actually cried in the station.

The problem is that every other job I look at looks just as pointless and boring and I already failed at all my dream jobs. Surely the next 40 years can't be this miserable

Can I ask what were your dream jobs ?
In this situation I think of me but with women .I picked the same sort ,same build same age compared to me ,funnily enough one or no parents and then I went to Spain and met a woman casually at the bar ( I was going touring around Spain alone to practice my Spanish and just wanted a few beers to help me sleep) instead I met a woman that is so different to my previous and have never been happier. So may be those dream jobs were actually ones you were not meant to do .
If I give any advice to people younger than me it is this ,marry your best friend and get a job you are happy with .
Money doesn't matter as much as you might think ,of course you need enough but enough can be a lot less than you think .
E.G. If you get a job nearer home then you will save on travel ,expense and time and seeing as the one you have now just makes you miserable think about it .
Of course me sitting here makes it look so easy and I know it isn't but just try a new approach.

 

[collymcd]

You need to go and get help mate, start with your GP and he / she will send you to a therapist.

The very real danger with anxiety like you’re experiencing is that you end locked in a vicious cycle, where not only do you avoid everything and everyone, but you end you becoming worried about being worried.

As mad as it sounds, your brain has reprogrammed it’s self to avoid anything stressful - anxiety and now can’t switch off.

A therapist will help you understand what’s going on and hopefully help reset your brain.

Exercise is great for relieving anxiety too ( from my own experiences)

Was there a trigger or was it a gradual thing ?

I think you're spot on with the advice you're giving. In psychoanalysis anxiety is considered the only emotion that doesn't lie. Our emotions often deceive us but anxiety only ever emerges when something really important is at stake. That's why I also think it's so important to go and speak about it to a therapist, figure out what it's telling you and work through it. Listen to it carefully, it can be amazing what can be constructed from it.

 

[dano195]

You need to go and get help mate, start with your GP and he / she will send you to a therapist.

The very real danger with anxiety like you’re experiencing is that you end locked in a vicious cycle, where not only do you avoid everything and everyone, but you end you becoming worried about being worried.

As mad as it sounds, your brain has reprogrammed it’s self to avoid anything stressful - anxiety and now can’t switch off.

A therapist will help you understand what’s going on and hopefully help reset your brain.

Exercise is great for relieving anxiety too ( from my own experiences)

Was there a trigger or was it a gradual thing ?

Thanks for this. I will take on your advice and go to the GP. It's not I dont have people around me I'm not able to speak to it's just find it hard talking about the situation.

Been trying to read into anxiety to get a better understanding of it. Therapist is my next route I need to take I know that now. Thanks for replying

 

[COYBL25]

Thanks for this. I will take on your advice and go to the GP. It's not I dont have people around me I'm not able to speak to it's just find it hard talking about the situation.

Been trying to read into anxiety to get a better understanding of it. Therapist is my next route I need to take I know that now. Thanks for replying

What you describe is a near mirror

 

[COYBL25]

Thanks for this. I will take on your advice and go to the GP. It's not I dont have people around me I'm not able to speak to it's just find it hard talking about the situation.

Been trying to read into anxiety to get a better understanding of it. Therapist is my next route I need to take I know that now. Thanks for replying

Sorry about the post above, got distracted by the kids and couldn`t edit it !

What you describe is near mirror of what happened to me a few years back.

I went from not having a care in the world, in a job I loved, to a virtual recluse within the space of 18mths, due to anxiety and depression.

It was all caused by an horrendous and sustained situation in work.

The first step should be that your GP will more than likely prescribe a low dose anti depressant, with anti anxiety properties.

Don`t be frightened or ashamed of taking them. They`re not " happy pills ", they`re there to try make you feel " normal " again.

I guarantee that at least one or more people that you know will be taking them.

They don`t work immediately and normally take 2/3 weeks to kick in.

Your GP will walk you through it.

Have you told your fiance about how you`re feeling ?

I know it`s incredibly hard to talk about, but I`m sure she`d want to know and help support you mate.

 

[witchdoc187]

Been off here for a while but need to vent a bit.
Getting married this year, anxiety has hit a all time high. Things I used to do day to day im avoiding massively. I play football at a pretty ok level and been claiming i'm injured for a while now to avoid going. Haven't had a haircut for about 3 months as the thought of sitting in a chair and not being able to move for the duration of the haircut is horrible. Even at work I dealt with customers with ease previously, now I avoid contact at all costs. Anxiety is eating away at me recently and finding life hard to deal with.

Try meditation. Cannot tell you how much this has helped me. Download head space app. 5 mins a day

 

[witchdoc187]

About the only thing about my job I like is that if I arrive early I can go home early, leaving me more time to do things I actually enjoy. The rest is a pointless, if well paid grind.

This morning my train was cancelled meaning I have an hour less of my own time tonight and I have to stay an extra hour in the office. I actually cried in the station.

The problem is that every other job I look at looks just as pointless and boring and I already failed at all my dream jobs. Surely the next 40 years can't be this miserable

The best advice I was given is that if the jobs you are looking at appear boring then you're looking at the wrong jobs, in the wrong places. I quit my job and moved to Spain as I couldn't go on. I realise not everyone can do that but you need to try and follow your heart. Every job I saw was awful, just the same old thing and there's few things more demoralising than job hunting. Try look outside your current industry. Go and volunteer somewhere or something if you can. It's hard to advise when I don't know you. But I know that feeling of being trapped mate but there's ways out.