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Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

Disgruntledgoat said:
I would pointout here that @GrandOldTeam agreed to let me write some stuff for the main site here and I have totally failed to submit anything. I sit down and there is nothing there. So a thousand apologies for that. Throw it on the failure pile.
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You're an outstanding writer mate. You really are. Hang in there because you've got a talent.
 

Disgruntledgoat said:
I'm fully aware I need to sit down and do something. I even started bouncing a few openers about in my head this morning... I'll need to dive into the abyss of some other clubs forums to bring it to fruition, though.

Maybe this weekend.
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You are a born writer, always a pleasure to read your posts and I look forward to you writing a few articles for GOT ;)
 
Disgruntledgoat said:
I too have paid the price for this attitude but on reflection it comes down to this (in my case at least)… If I genuinely loved what I did for a job I would be thrilled to share it with people who were also passionate. As it stands, I have never been able to understand why people form emotional attachments to something they do for money and I keep myself separate from those people. I don't go to work parties, I don't go to after work drinks, I do my job and go home. This is not to say I am unpersonable or unapproachable in my time in the office.

This can lead to you being seen as stand-offish or not a team-player and only you can decide if it's worth it.

But, in my humble opinion, anybody who sees their employer as a "family" is, at some point, in for a massive shock. Families don't take each other out the back and give them the bullet for overcooking the roast a couple of times.

I remember when I started this job (the one I moan about in here ad infinitum) back in May and a friend of a friend who works in recruitment (hawwwwk spit!) asked me "what do you expect from your new role?" and my answer was "Money at the end of every month". He replied that this was really sad and that I needed to find a company who's values match my own. I could not believe that an otherwise intelligent 36 year old could swallow and believe this nonsense, but apparently there are a lot of people who do. You and I are maybe just outliers.


*Edit: A French colleague just told me my accent is cool. I'm all turned around on the matter!
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Oh to behold a kindred spirit. Every word, you spoke for me.
 

Disgruntledgoat said:
Just realised, a year ago today I had a day cycling and an exclusive with Bradley Wiggins. Then we got pissed. Then I wrote it up for the Guardian, for money.
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Goes to show how quick things can change. Okay, in the last year things have changed for the worse but there's nothing to say they can't swing back in the other direction just as quickly. You were there before so you can get there again.

Take a leaf out of our beloved Icelandic hero's book. Sitting on his arse yesterday dreaming of how he could have scored the winner and thinking the chance had gone. Little did he know if he had just gotten back up and kept going..

Disgruntledgoat said:
Families don't take each other out the back and give them the bullet for overcooking the roast a couple of times.
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Depends on the family tbh :oops:
 
Thank you for all your kind words and support over the last week or so. I have made the decision that this will be my last day in work for a wee while. We have a show to play tonight and, honestly, the fact that I didn't want to be off sick and plugging/playing a rock show is the only reason I've been dragging myself in to the office for the last 6 weeks.

It's getting harder all the time to keep putting a happy face and try and get anything done but I am completely demotivated, I have no focus or energy in or out of work and I'm being super hard on myself over stupid things. I would also argue that hitting oneself about the head with a shoe because you smashed a glass by accident is probably a sign things aren't going so well. I'm on holiday tomorrow anyway, so I'll be going the doctor and taking his advice.

This is exactly the place I was in about 18 months ago and going to the doctor was the first step in getting fired, I know the way large companies work and they will never see this as a health issue to be managed, they will see it as a weakness to be managed out but for the second time in 2 years I find myself at the end of my tether.

What comes next, I have no idea.
 
Right Blues, I'm signed off for two weeks. I cried at the doctor... so, aye. He told me to just quit but I need the money for now.

I'm honestly dreading sending the sick note to them tomorrow but it has to be done. I have to look after myself at some point and I'm not functioning so well right now.

I even feel guilty for not going tomorrow when I played a show last night but then I think to the 2 hours I spent crying my eyes out to get it together to go to the doctor this morning and I realise I'm not doing well at the moment. In truth, I already feel a weight off just to not have to go in. Awful to say, but it's true.
 

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