Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Dymak]

Come on lad thats not the attitude to have - she sounds game as a badger to me like! Why not arrange something when all this is over?

I feel for you though my uncle used to suffer really badly with his back and could barely walk some days - I get the odd twinge now and again after rolling in the gym or doing some graft in the house and its awful.

Thanks for the positivity mate, it is appreciated. But this is chronic back pain; it's been going on for the last 15 months. I am fearful that it will continue to remain the same or even get worse.

I have ordered a 'personal trainer' today. I'm meeting him at his own little gym in Wembley on Thursday night. The hope is that some gym work will strengthen my back muscles and lead to recovery. I've already tried all that Pilates stuff, and bloody osteopaths and chiropractors, with no real improvement. In fact I still am seeing an 'osteopath', and it looks like I am going to give this a go:

IDD Therapy In London at The Mayfair Clinic, Can It Help Your Back Pain?

Learn more about how idd therapy in London at The Mayfair Clinic can help resolve your lower back or neck pain safely and effectively.

themayfairclinic.com

I fear it will be another load of expensive bollox though. There is so much BS out there regarding back pain, and some people are clearly making a fortune out of it.

 

[ForeverBlue92]

Thanks for the positivity mate, it is appreciated. But this is chronic back pain; it's been going on for the last 15 months. I am fearful that it will continue to remain the same or even get worse.

I have ordered a 'personal trainer' today. I'm meeting him at his own little gym in Wembley on Thursday night. The hope is that some gym work will strengthen my back muscles and lead to recovery. I've already tried all that Pilates stuff, and bloody osteopaths and chiropractors, with no real improvement. In fact I still am seeing an 'osteopath', and it looks like I am going to give this a go:

IDD Therapy In London at The Mayfair Clinic, Can It Help Your Back Pain?

Learn more about how idd therapy in London at The Mayfair Clinic can help resolve your lower back or neck pain safely and effectively.

themayfairclinic.com

I fear it will be another load of expensive bollox though. There is so much BS out there regarding back pain, and some people are clearly making a fortune out of it.

Use your weakness as your strength and blag her lad - say something like you climbed a tree to rescue a cat and fell out doing your back in - glam it up women love that nonsense! The amount of BS I told my missus when we first started dating she thought I could cook like Gordon Ramsey until we moved in together then realised I cant fry an egg lol

Yeah definitely look at ways to get your muscles working but dont over do it - is there anything surgical that could be done to alleviate it?

 

[Disgruntledgoat]

I need to get my boss off my back. 4 texts, 2 calls and 2 meetings since I was signed off sick on monday and a load of extra things to do. Finally tonight he told me "If you are really sick you shouldn't be working on things. Even though they're late because of your inaction"

How passive agressive can you get?

And why would you expect somebody off sick with burnout to be acting rationally and delivering to deadlines?

 

[Nymzee]

I need to get my boss off my back. 4 texts, 2 calls and 2 meetings since I was signed off sick on monday and a load of extra things to do. Finally tonight he told me "If you are really sick you shouldn't be working on things. Even though they're late because of your inaction"

How passive agressive can you get?

And why would you expect somebody off sick with burnout to be acting rationally and delivering to deadlines?

I'm confused, why are you doing work when off sick?

 

[Disgruntledgoat]

I'm confused, why are you doing work when off sick?

I got called to a meeting on Tuesday which I thought was to go through what was open and assign it to other people. It turned out to be to just give me a load more work.

I'm not doing any work but I am expected to do work, this much has been made clear. This ain't helping my anxiety and stress levels.

 

[Nymzee]

I got called to a meeting on Tuesday which I thought was to go through what was open and assign it to other people. It turned out to be to just give me a load more work.

I'm not doing any work but I am expected to do work, this much has been made clear. This ain't helping my anxiety and stress levels.

In my eyes: you've handed your notice in and you're off on the sick so you don't need to do any work and whether the work gets done or not isn't your issue as you're leaving. Worst case scenario is they sack you but then you'll get a severance package on top of you alreading planning to leave anyway?

 

[Disgruntledgoat]

In my eyes: you've handed your notice in and you're off on the sick so you don't need to do any work and whether the work gets done or not isn't your issue as you're leaving. Worst case scenario is they sack you but then you'll get a severance package on top of you alreading planning to leave anyway?

Yeah, that's the worst case scenario. But, to be honest, the stress of that process would be hard on me. Although, I'm not sure it could be much harder than this week has been. I feel guilty, I feel like I'm letting my colleagues down and my boss is pissed off and contacting me all the time.

 

[Nymzee]

Yeah, that's the worst case scenario. But, to be honest, the stress of that process would be hard on me. Although, I'm not sure it could be much harder than this week has been. I feel guilty, I feel like I'm letting my colleagues down and my boss is pissed off and contacting me all the time.

He's clearly not understanding why you're off on the sick though. Isn't being made to do work whilst off on the sick not even against the law? Like you're not fit to work so how can you be expected to work? Same as me, illegal right now for me to even send an email on furlough.

 

[Disgruntledgoat]

He's clearly not understanding why you're off on the sick though. Isn't being made to do work whilst off on the sick not even against the law? Like you're not fit to work so how can you be expected to work? Same as me, illegal right now for me to even send an email on furlough.

The company has basically used furlough as a way to sweat its staff even on the days they're not getting paid. The company line is "flexibility" and now, with everybody at home, the boundaries of when they contact you are completely gone. I've had calls at 8 o clock at night for non-urgent stuff. My deparment has 3 out of 12 off with stress at the moment.

It's a really crappy situation. I need to stop trying to not make other people's lives hard and get on with getting better. So I'll switch everything off tonight and tomorrow morning he can have my list of actions to give to others and a stern warning about contacting me further. After that, I'll take it up with the union. I don't know why I'm being so nice about this.

 

[Nymzee]

The company has basically used furlough as a way to sweat its staff even on the days they're not getting paid. The company line is "flexibility" and now, with everybody at home, the boundaries of when they contact you are completely gone. I've had calls at 8 o clock at night for non-urgent stuff. My deparment has 3 out of 12 off with stress at the moment.

It's a really crappy situation. I need to stop trying to not make other people's lives hard and get on with getting better. So I'll switch everything off tonight and tomorrow morning he can have my list of actions to give to others and a stern warning about contacting me further. After that, I'll take it up with the union. I don't know why I'm being so nice about this.

You don't owe them anything mate. If you need to do a handover to someone then sure, plug away at that if you're feeling up for it, but you're off work so just ignore your boss. Would you answer a call to him at 8pm if you had a holiday day booked in? Same situation as a sick day isn't it. We have flexi on our working from home but I only have my laptop/work phone on for working hours - never ever before or after.

 

[Disgruntledgoat]

You don't owe them anything mate. If you need to do a handover to someone then sure, plug away at that if you're feeling up for it, but you're off work so just ignore your boss. Would you answer a call to him at 8pm if you had a holiday day booked in? Same situation as a sick day isn't it. We have flexi on our working from home but I only have my laptop/work phone on for working hours - never ever before or after.

I admire that attitude, I used to have it myself. But normally, yeah I would answer because I assume they want something important if they're bothering me at that time.

The problem with ignoring him, is that I still have to go back on the 28th for 3 months. But aye, if he punts me before that, he'll have to pay me the notice I would have to work.

 

[Nymzee]

I admire that attitude, I used to have it myself. But normally, yeah I would answer because I assume they want something important if they're bothering me at that time.

The problem with ignoring him, is that I still have to go back on the 28th for 3 months. But aye, if he punts me before that, he'll have to pay me the notice I would have to work.

Oh really? Your notice period is 3 months?! I guess that does put a little spanner in the works then. Is the 28th when you sick note runs out or can you get it extended? The way the job is it'll only make you feel worse if work piles up so you might want to string out your sick notes till the 3 months ends.

 

[Disgruntledgoat]

Oh really? Your notice period is 3 months?! I guess that does put a little spanner in the works then. Is the 28th when you sick note runs out or can you get it extended? The way the job is it'll only make you feel worse if work piles up so you might want to string out your sick notes till the 3 months ends.

I;ve got 3 weeks holiday to stick in as well. So if I'm genuinely not well. I'll try to extend it. Otherwise I'm only working from home for 3 months so it could be worse. Extending sick notes for 3 months is a level of snide I;m not sure I can sustain.

 

[Nymzee]

I;ve got 3 weeks holiday to stick in as well. So if I'm genuinely not well. I'll try to extend it. Otherwise I'm only working from home for 3 months so it could be worse. Extending sick notes for 3 months is a level of snide I;m not sure I can sustain.

I didn't mean extending for the sake of it haha I just meant don't feel pressured to go back after the first sick note expires; especially if you aren't feeling any better.

 

[COYBL25]

I need to get my boss off my back. 4 texts, 2 calls and 2 meetings since I was signed off sick on monday and a load of extra things to do. Finally tonight he told me "If you are really sick you shouldn't be working on things. Even though they're late because of your inaction"

How passive agressive can you get?

And why would you expect somebody off sick with burnout to be acting rationally and delivering to deadlines?

You need to speak to the union mate.

This just isn’t right, you’re either off sick, which means no contact from work other than for welfare reasons or you’re in work

The way it reads is that he’s trying to turn the screw and punish / get revenge for your resignation.

If this was the UK an employment lawyer would be all over that.

With regards to your sick note, you shouldn’t go back ( if at all ) until you’re well enough - whenever that may be.

The longer you’re under this type of stress, the worse for your long term future mental health.

I was off sick with depression and work related anxiety for 18 mths before I resigned and ended up with an ill health pension due to what they’d put me through.

That was over 15 yrs ago and I still get mad anxiety attacks over nothing and suffer with terrible insomnia.

@Joey66 will tell you a similar story as a result of a workplace bullying campaign.