Discussion & help on depression & mental health related issues

[Catfish Blues]

The UK is such a depressing place to holiday. The only reason why I tolerate living here is the wages are pretty good compared to elsewhere and I want to be looked after in my old age, if I decide to live that long, I'm still thinking the age of 50 is a decent age for me to bow out

I should say that there is one thing in the UK I'd like to do and that is to take the Caledonian Sleeper. Apart from that, there's nothing else for me.

Fair enough mate, I wasn't actually pushing the UK as a place to holiday. It sounded like you don't enjoy your day to day life, and live for your travel, which is a shame, not because you love the travel, that's normal, but because your normal life doesn't give you any joy ?

I live in the UK now, but I've lived in other parts of the world as well. To be honest, if you're tolerating living in the UK, then I'd say you need to think seriously about your reasons for doing so. You're relatively young, probably without any major ties to the country and money isn't everything, so why not look at moving elsewhere ? Plainly the current situation with COVID puts a barrier in the way, but that won't be there for ever.

 

[USABlue]

Just feeling kind of stuck lately. I've been struggling with depression since I was 16 (27 now) and I've tried it all. One on one therapy, group therapy, meds, eating healthy, exercising, etc. Felt just as resigned and defeated regardless of any of those. I know being active and socializing is supposed to help but I was with mates literally everyday 16-18 and played sports year round and was still depressed. I've been everywhere from 145lbs all the way up to 170lbs (I'm back at 150lbs) and felt the same. I am lucky to still have my immediate family and them to be healthy and to have a solid job. Otherwise nearly all my friends have moved away or lost touch despite my best efforts. People just move on in life and forget about me.

 

[summerisle]

 

[Earwigjoe]

Just feeling kind of stuck lately. I've been struggling with depression since I was 16 (27 now) and I've tried it all. One on one therapy, group therapy, meds, eating healthy, exercising, etc. Felt just as resigned and defeated regardless of any of those. I know being active and socializing is supposed to help but I was with mates literally everyday 16-18 and played sports year round and was still depressed. I've been everywhere from 145lbs all the way up to 170lbs (I'm back at 150lbs) and felt the same. I am lucky to still have my immediate family and them to be healthy and to have a solid job. Otherwise nearly all my friends have moved away or lost touch despite my best efforts. People just move on in life and forget about me.

Sorry to hear you're feeling like that mate but you've always got us idiots on here. I think sometimes we gotta drop our expectations we all feel like that at times thinking Im doing what everyone else does I should be happier and feel everyone else's lifes are happier than ours but they're not we just convince ourselves they are.do you enjoy your religion, studying, politics etc What about volunteering helping others elderly, disabled people who'll really appreciate your help so rewarding for you also it doesn't always have to be sports. We re all different animals we gotta find what makes us happy. happiness can come out of the strangest of places sometimes. We All get our falls and our crosses to carry life not always easy but always worth it. Stay strong mate.

 

[Spotty]

Just feeling kind of stuck lately. I've been struggling with depression since I was 16 (27 now) and I've tried it all. One on one therapy, group therapy, meds, eating healthy, exercising, etc. Felt just as resigned and defeated regardless of any of those. I know being active and socializing is supposed to help but I was with mates literally everyday 16-18 and played sports year round and was still depressed. I've been everywhere from 145lbs all the way up to 170lbs (I'm back at 150lbs) and felt the same. I am lucky to still have my immediate family and them to be healthy and to have a solid job. Otherwise nearly all my friends have moved away or lost touch despite my best efforts. People just move on in life and forget about me.

Some people's lives are so busy and hectic, they don't " forget " you on purpose. That's probably just your mind set attributing the fact they don't get in touch because your not worth it. You've obviously got insight into your problems, seen therapists and been prescribed medication for your depressive thoughts. I don't know what the professional diagnosis you were given, but you've had your low moods for a long time which would suggest you have dysthymia. A posh word for long term depression. There are a number of reasons people experience this, from trauma a small a child to low self esteem. There is no quick fix USA unfortunately, however there are various things you can do. You've mentioned your family as support which is great but it may be long term anxiety issues your experiencing. Try to identify what makes you anxious, and address it if you can. I can't help feeling hour weight issues lay heavily on your mind. Maybe your just stuck, doing the same thing everyday, no variety. You enjoy socializing so maybe try something where you meet more people. This may sound unorthodox, but, I've always thought helping people can often improve your self esteem. It makes you feel good about yourself. Volunteering perhaps. I always advocate excercise as a good stress reliever, lots of evidence for it being beneficial. Its often mate a case of experimentation to find out what lifts your mood. It may be something so basic that your missing. You've heard of Occam's Razor, it basically means the most obvious and simplist explanation is the right one. Lots of people experience being stuck, but do try to have some variety in your life, try something new, what have you got to lose. You may just find that your life heads off in a different, more exciting direction. If your mood starts to deteriorate speak to someone about it and get professional help. I hope your life starts to turn around and good luck.

 

[Tipp blue]

Just feeling kind of stuck lately. I've been struggling with depression since I was 16 (27 now) and I've tried it all. One on one therapy, group therapy, meds, eating healthy, exercising, etc. Felt just as resigned and defeated regardless of any of those. I know being active and socializing is supposed to help but I was with mates literally everyday 16-18 and played sports year round and was still depressed. I've been everywhere from 145lbs all the way up to 170lbs (I'm back at 150lbs) and felt the same. I am lucky to still have my immediate family and them to be healthy and to have a solid job. Otherwise nearly all my friends have moved away or lost touch despite my best efforts. People just move on in life and forget about me.

I've said it on here before and at the risk of sounding like a broken record I'm going to say it again, if you have social media accounts bin them, FB and Twitter especially absolute mental health destroyers. I'm speaking from experience having deleted my social media accounts on the 13th October 2017 and I've not regretted it in any way and haven't had my anxiety back and I'm not taking medication any more. I remember the date as it is the Anniversary of my grandfather's death, I'd gone to visit his grave and on the drive home I was listening to the radio and a woman came on discussing the effects of social media on mental health, I got home got out the laptop and deleted them.. within 2 days I started feeling better it really was that quick.
Look I don't know if you have social media accounts or not but if you do it's worth getting away from, at your age social media has been around since your early teens it is absolutely messing up lives.

Anxiety, loneliness and Fear of Missing Out: The impact of social media on young people’s mental health | Centre for Mental Health

Rhys shares his view on the impact of social media on mental health

www.centreformentalhealth.org.uk

 

[Mildredblues]

I've said it on here before and at the risk of sounding like a broken record I'm going to say it again, if you have social media accounts bin them, FB and Twitter especially absolute mental health destroyers. I'm speaking from experience having deleted my social media accounts on the 13th October 2017 and I've not regretted it in any way and haven't had my anxiety back and I'm not taking medication any more. I remember the date as it is the Anniversary of my grandfather's death, I'd gone to visit his grave and on the drive home I was listening to the radio and a woman came on discussing the effects of social media on mental health, I got home got out the laptop and deleted them.. within 2 days I started feeling better it really was that quick.
Look I don't know if you have social media accounts or not but if you do it's worth getting away from, at your age social media has been around since your early teens it is absolutely messing up lives.

Anxiety, loneliness and Fear of Missing Out: The impact of social media on young people’s mental health | Centre for Mental Health

Rhys shares his view on the impact of social media on mental health

www.centreformentalhealth.org.uk

So true!!
Social media is pretty nasty where people you don't even know start abusing you or your views. Twitter and reddit are the worst of the lot.

 

[USABlue]

I've said it on here before and at the risk of sounding like a broken record I'm going to say it again, if you have social media accounts bin them, FB and Twitter especially absolute mental health destroyers. I'm speaking from experience having deleted my social media accounts on the 13th October 2017 and I've not regretted it in any way and haven't had my anxiety back and I'm not taking medication any more. I remember the date as it is the Anniversary of my grandfather's death, I'd gone to visit his grave and on the drive home I was listening to the radio and a woman came on discussing the effects of social media on mental health, I got home got out the laptop and deleted them.. within 2 days I started feeling better it really was that quick.
Look I don't know if you have social media accounts or not but if you do it's worth getting away from, at your age social media has been around since your early teens it is absolutely messing up lives.

Anxiety, loneliness and Fear of Missing Out: The impact of social media on young people’s mental health | Centre for Mental Health

Rhys shares his view on the impact of social media on mental health

www.centreformentalhealth.org.uk

Thanks for the response! Yes social media really does have a terrible effect on people's self esteem and I've avoided Instagram and the like for that reason. I do have a twitter account but it is private and I only follow accounts that are for sporting news and my sister (she loves social media and likes sending me tweets she thinks I'll enjoy). Social media can be quite damaging if you get too attached and involved

 

[USABlue]

Some people's lives are so busy and hectic, they don't " forget " you on purpose. That's probably just your mind set attributing the fact they don't get in touch because your not worth it. You've obviously got insight into your problems, seen therapists and been prescribed medication for your depressive thoughts. I don't know what the professional diagnosis you were given, but you've had your low moods for a long time which would suggest you have dysthymia. A posh word for long term depression. There are a number of reasons people experience this, from trauma a small a child to low self esteem. There is no quick fix USA unfortunately, however there are various things you can do. You've mentioned your family as support which is great but it may be long term anxiety issues your experiencing. Try to identify what makes you anxious, and address it if you can. I can't help feeling hour weight issues lay heavily on your mind. Maybe your just stuck, doing the same thing everyday, no variety. You enjoy socializing so maybe try something where you meet more people. This may sound unorthodox, but, I've always thought helping people can often improve your self esteem. It makes you feel good about yourself. Volunteering perhaps. I always advocate excercise as a good stress reliever, lots of evidence for it being beneficial. Its often mate a case of experimentation to find out what lifts your mood. It may be something so basic that your missing. You've heard of Occam's Razor, it basically means the most obvious and simplist explanation is the right one. Lots of people experience being stuck, but do try to have some variety in your life, try something new, what have you got to lose. You may just find that your life heads off in a different, more exciting direction. If your mood starts to deteriorate speak to someone about it and get professional help. I hope your life starts to turn around and good luck.

Thank you so much for the response mate. You hit on alot of the issues. I do have dsythmia and through therapy know most of my issues come from having low self esteem. In regards to people having hectic lifes I understand that and I do not feel those individuals have forgotten me, that was more aimed at people I tried keeping up with over a long period of time who did not respond/follow up at all. Which fair enough people do move on and they don't owe me anything, just said when people who you used to be close with can't be bothered anymore. Helping others does make me feel better so with the virus going on I try to call and help my family (parents, sister, and grandma) as often as I can. As you day my life probably could use some variety but I've never been much of a risk taker. I have considered moving to a different area but my parents are older, have health problems and areseparated. I'm all they have within a 5 hour drive (my sister) so I could never leave them. Maybe once the virus is better here I'll try to take some sort of class or volunteer.

 

[USABlue]

Sorry to hear you're feeling like that mate but you've always got us idiots on here. I think sometimes we gotta drop our expectations we all feel like that at times thinking Im doing what everyone else does I should be happier and feel everyone else's lifes are happier than ours but they're not we just convince ourselves they are.do you enjoy your religion, studying, politics etc What about volunteering helping others elderly, disabled people who'll really appreciate your help so rewarding for you also it doesn't always have to be sports. We re all different animals we gotta find what makes us happy. happiness can come out of the strangest of places sometimes. We All get our falls and our crosses to carry life not always easy but always worth it. Stay strong mate.

Appreciate the response mate! Sports, reading, games, and time with mates have always been what have made me happy but I've lost interest mostly except the rare occasions I can have some time with mates. I used to watch any sports match that was on, now I can just drum up enough interest to watch my favorite teams (everton, my american teams, etc). Think the Super Bowl was the last time I full match of any sport that didnt include one of "my teams".

Maybe I volunteer once the virus is over. I appreciate the support!

 

[Earwigjoe]

Appreciate the response mate! Sports, reading, games, and time with mates have always been what have made me happy but I've lost interest mostly except the rare occasions I can have some time with mates. I used to watch any sports match that was on, now I can just drum up enough interest to watch my favorite teams (everton, my american teams, etc). Think the Super Bowl was the last time I full match of any sport that didnt include one of "my teams".

Maybe I volunteer once the virus is over. I appreciate the support!

No problem brother. You support all winning teams and Everton??? I don't follow American sports as much as I used too. I was big fan of the Pittsburgh teams Steelers and Pirates even went to a couple of their games when they both played in the 3 rivers stadium.

 

[USABlue]

No problem brother. You support all winning teams and Everton??? I don't follow American sports as much as I used too. I was big fan of the Pittsburgh teams Steelers and Pirates even went to a couple of their games when they both played in the 3 rivers stadium.

Sadly my American teams are just as heart breaking as Everton. My American teams are a weird mix as where I grew up didnt have it's own pro teams. Everton, USMNT, Phoenix Suns for NBA, Rams for NFL (fan from the St.Louis days when I was 6) and the college teams for where I went to uni. Rams only team with a trophy in my lifetime, well I guess the US has a few CONCACAF gold cups haha.

That's cool you got to go to some games! Steelers at least are a competitive and successful team to break up the doom and gloom of Everton

 

[summerisle]

He's looking well.

 

[Tipp blue]

Sadly my American teams are just as heart breaking as Everton. My American teams are a weird mix as where I grew up didnt have it's own pro teams. Everton, USMNT, Phoenix Suns for NBA, Rams for NFL (fan from the St.Louis days when I was 6) and the college teams for where I went to uni. Rams only team with a trophy in my lifetime, well I guess the US has a few CONCACAF gold cups haha.

That's cool you got to go to some games! Steelers at least are a competitive and successful team to break up the doom and gloom of Everton

Lol until recently my American teams weren't great, my NFL team is still rubbish Jets, but the rest have improved dramatically recently, NBA is Bucks, NHL is Colorado, MLB is Brewers.. all playoff material with 2 being genuine contenders. Hopefully the Jets and Everton are just lagging a bit in the my teams becoming becoming good steaks.

 

[Spotty]

Thank you so much for the response mate. You hit on alot of the issues. I do have dsythmia and through therapy know most of my issues come from having low self esteem. In regards to people having hectic lifes I understand that and I do not feel those individuals have forgotten me, that was more aimed at people I tried keeping up with over a long period of time who did not respond/follow up at all. Which fair enough people do move on and they don't owe me anything, just said when people who you used to be close with can't be bothered anymore. Helping others does make me feel better so with the virus going on I try to call and help my family (parents, sister, and grandma) as often as I can. As you day my life probably could use some variety but I've never been much of a risk taker. I have considered moving to a different area but my parents are older, have health problems and areseparated. I'm all they have within a 5 hour drive (my sister) so I could never leave them. Maybe once the virus is better here I'll try to take some sort of class or volunteer.

Well said USA. Remember your never alone and it's a cliché but it really is good to talk and share. This Covid is a stubborn SOAB and doesn't want to leave us does it. Good luck with things m8.