Thought I'd update.
Been a testing couple of weeks. Celebrated my birthday earlier in the week, went out for a meal with the family but other than that I've been very bored. Not had any luck landing a new job yet, been applying but yet to get my foot in the door. Obviously coronavirus means I doubt very much that many employers at this moment in time will be keen to get new people through their doors.
I pretty much started self-isolating right before everyone else has, other than the meal I've barely left the house since the start of the month. My sleeping pattern has gone to absolute pot, I've falling asleep at 6 or 7am and waking up late in the afternoons. Not good but with the virus there's not really any reason for me to want to get up, where could I even go? It seems this whole thing has struck at very inopportune time for me personally, everyone is locking down when I myself more than ever am eager to get out and be active. Even my best mate hasn't been available, he's been sick (possibly with the virus) and so I can't hang out with him. Horrible, it's going to be very tough waiting this whole thing out.
My father is very poorly, I saw him a few days back and he looked older and frailer than I've ever seen him. He's also seems to be losing his faculties too, much like his sisters did when they were coming to the end. Whenever me or my siblings talk to him to him on the phone he rambles incoherently and seems very off it mentally, a stark contrast to how he is normally is. The cancer is now in his bones, he had radiotherapy but it hasn't worked at all. Now we're very worried that this virus could get him. Even if it doesn't, reality is hitting us all that he's surely not got long left with us. If he were an animal he'd definitely be in "it's kinder to put them down" territory.
Life just doesn't feel very joyful right now. No job, nothing to get up for, can't go anywhere, father extremely poorly. I'm hopeful this time in my life is just a challenging period that I need to come through but each day feels harder than the last and there's no end in sight. 26 and feel like I'm stuck nowhere.