Guru this is important, don't be down heartened by a " blip" . It's part of the recovery process. Just continue doing the positive stuff and talking to people. People WANT to help but need to know you're struggling. Well done son.
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White, do Finnish people deserve the label as Europe's unhappiest people. ( Read it somewhere ). I've been to Scandinavian Countries before but never made it to Finland ( is it classed as Scandinavian? ) Sweden, Norway were very beautiful but I found very very expensive. Good advice by the way.
Dave that's very honest. Wouldn't say a " lack of balls", how about an abundance of character. The very thing that brought you back from the brink - the love of your daughter - speaks volumes about your character. I will continue to tell people on here, you / we have a lot to offer. We are not useless, we have meaning, we help people who rely on us, support people who need it and yes, we enrich people's lives. Telling your daughter you love her when / if she feels really low is the the thing that brightens up her life, it gives her meaning, she is loved. We have so much capacity to make people's lives a lot happier and contented and surely that in itself is life affirming. Every once in a while a loved one, friend of a patient will write me a letter of thanks. That's all I need to keep me going, when I'm down I will open them. It makes me feel better. My brother who is poorly mentally tells me he loves me and it makes me feel good. We enrich our own lives,make ourselves happier, by being there for other people. There's no monetary value that can replace that. Take care.
Guru888
Player Valuation: £1m
Thank you very much mate
Whiteandblue
Player Valuation: £750k
No idea to be honest, however we rarely care what other people think of us
Re Scandinavia, I think there are varying opinions, I perhaps wouldnt count us as Scandinavians as the language and culture differ quite a lot. We are geographically in the general area, share quite similar values, especially with Sweden but genetically differ more from them than your average Swede from a Portuguese for example. We are perhaps not quite as inbred as the Welsh but more than the swaggering Swedes
Thankyou for your reply Spotty. It's a very good way to look at life and a helpful read.
JLW
Player Valuation: £60m
Hello mate how are you today??
Here’s my story.
In 2017 on my 41st birthday I was diagnosed with a large brain tumour (Acoustic neuroma) i remember it like it was yesterday, a scorching day driving to the hospital for my results with my wife and my daughter. I was happy as Larry unbeknown to what news I was about to receive.
The moment came when the doctor told me they had found something and I only had the scan because my medical for my job I have to do every 2 years, but I told them my hearing was gradually getting worse on my left side ever since I was a kid. Anyway they sent me for MRI scan as a precaution but that’s when they discovered my tumour.
After diagnosis I played the ‘man’ role of not letting it effect me, this was to stop my family worrying but deep down I was scared, as scared as I’ve ever been about anything. It was my biggest mistake in my whole life. Getting closer to my operation which was in the October 2017 I could feel the anxiety, fear, depression building up inside of me and would be telling my mrs to go out or the shops just so I could breakdown alone (she didn’t know that at the time) and not in front of them, again because of this ‘man thing’
On October 12th I went in for my 15 hour brain op. It obviously well or I wouldn’t be here now typing this (although some might disagree with what crap I post in other threads ha)
The months and years that followed I suffered so much with how I looked, how felt in myself, and the struggles that came with it emotionally and still do to a certain extent today but not so much. I didn’t want to leave the house, my self esteem was on the floor and confidence absolutely shot.
The moral of my story is there’s light at the end of every tunnel we all go down. Life’s not easy at all for anyone. How I dealt with my struggles was by changing my mindset, give yourself small goals to achieve, have some structure for each day, and in that I mean not laying in bed or doing nothing gives you too much thinking time and for me that’s when your thoughts go into overdrive. After my op
I used to look around me and think everyone’s life was perfect but mine buts it’s not, far from it mate. We all have struggles on different levels for different reasons. Keep talking mate to anyone on here friends/family it helps and everytime you talk the better you will feel, trust me it helps more than anything you will feel a release of anxiety after it and your thoughts become a lot more clearer.
You’re on the right path mate keep going and as others in here have said you’ve done the hardest part by opening up.
Guru888
Player Valuation: £1m
Thank you very much mate and thank you for sharing your story you have come a long way mate that was very inspiring and has got me off the couch just reading it, I hope your struggles are over. I have started exercising more recently which we all know really helps and been trying to eat healthier foods, and I’ve been having less of the drink/drugs I was having 5-6 days a week now is more like 2 days a week, but I have started gambling again which tends to keep me awake at night as I can’t sleep thinking about it, gambling on absolute shyte like table tennis, so that is what I’m trying to stop most now. Thank you for the post mate
JLW
Player Valuation: £60m
Thanks mate, yeah am doing great at the minute, it took a while for me to realise it’s ok to show feelings and emotion as a man.
Its good your going in the right direction.
What book are you reading?
We’ve been quite lucky on the Isle of Man, insofar as the first lockdown ended in June last year and we didn’t go back into it until the New Year. Despite this, though, I found that my mental health flipped like a switch immediately upon being at home and I just went straight to staying in bed too long, not engaging enough with the kids, not doing enough around the house, etc.
It’s mad because I sit here KNOWING what is wrong and what I need to do, but it’s like my inner voice and my body just can’t get along enough to make it happen. I’m sure this is probably quite common among those with existing MH issues, but to me it’s pretty rare and quite scary.
In case anyone else is feeling similar, my approach has been to break my day into manageable chunks - about half an hour at a time. I have been learning Spanish on Duolingo so I’ll have a bash at that for half an hour; I got an electronic drum kit for Chrimbo so I’ll do half an hour’s online tutorials; I’m blasting through Stephen King’s back catalogue as much as I can so I’ll do at least half an hour on that before bed, and I’ll break up whatever work I have to do into bite-sized tasks of half an hour or so.
I also work a bit of laziness into the schedule - Been sure to watch a movie an evening with the kids and it’s boss that they’ve been getting bang into some of my childhood favourites.
All of this ramble - while being quite cathartic for me - is to say that you can do it. Stay present in your head, pay attention to how you’re feeling and make these big, daunting days into loads of little, manageable pieces. I also make sure I visit here every day even if I don’t always post, and it’d be a privilege to spend half an hour gabbing to anyone that might need it (just excuse me if I go silent for a couple of hours during Honey We Shrunk Ourselves or some such other blockbuster...).
It’s mad because I sit here KNOWING what is wrong and what I need to do, but it’s like my inner voice and my body just can’t get along enough to make it happen. I’m sure this is probably quite common among those with existing MH issues, but to me it’s pretty rare and quite scary.
In case anyone else is feeling similar, my approach has been to break my day into manageable chunks - about half an hour at a time. I have been learning Spanish on Duolingo so I’ll have a bash at that for half an hour; I got an electronic drum kit for Chrimbo so I’ll do half an hour’s online tutorials; I’m blasting through Stephen King’s back catalogue as much as I can so I’ll do at least half an hour on that before bed, and I’ll break up whatever work I have to do into bite-sized tasks of half an hour or so.
I also work a bit of laziness into the schedule - Been sure to watch a movie an evening with the kids and it’s boss that they’ve been getting bang into some of my childhood favourites.
All of this ramble - while being quite cathartic for me - is to say that you can do it. Stay present in your head, pay attention to how you’re feeling and make these big, daunting days into loads of little, manageable pieces. I also make sure I visit here every day even if I don’t always post, and it’d be a privilege to spend half an hour gabbing to anyone that might need it (just excuse me if I go silent for a couple of hours during Honey We Shrunk Ourselves or some such other blockbuster...).
GwladysBlue
Player Valuation: £70m
It’s been almost three years since I posted in this thread but recently my mental health took a huge nose dive which resulted in me having to go to A&E and tell them that I am at crisis point. I was suicidal and having a complete mental breakdown.
I won’t go into the details but I will say that I suffer with extreme OCD.
I also had to make a couple of phone calls to the Merseycare Urgent Help team.
I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here but please do not let yourself get to the point I was at. Talk to people about whatever is on your mind.
It’s so easy to get caught up in whatever it is that is getting to you that you lose sight of everything else.
Without the help of the A&E staff and the Merseycare team, I honestly don’t think I would be here today.
Depression and anxiety can come at you from nowhere, without any warning signs.
One day I was enjoying Everton beat Wolves, everything was going great in work, in my personal life, etc, and then within a few days I’m in A&E.
I always thought it would be very awkward to phone up a mental health line to talk but they are the kindest people you can imagine. They pulled me back from the edge. I would not be here right now without them phone calls because my own mind would’ve convinced me that it’s better off if I wasn’t here. If you feel you can’t talk to anyone, then talk to them.
I’ve only had experience with Merseycare but I am sure they are all equally as brilliant.
Going forward, I now have weekly counselling which I am very grateful for.
Times are tough right now, so please look after yourself.
I won’t go into the details but I will say that I suffer with extreme OCD.
I also had to make a couple of phone calls to the Merseycare Urgent Help team.
I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here but please do not let yourself get to the point I was at. Talk to people about whatever is on your mind.
It’s so easy to get caught up in whatever it is that is getting to you that you lose sight of everything else.
Without the help of the A&E staff and the Merseycare team, I honestly don’t think I would be here today.
Depression and anxiety can come at you from nowhere, without any warning signs.
One day I was enjoying Everton beat Wolves, everything was going great in work, in my personal life, etc, and then within a few days I’m in A&E.
I always thought it would be very awkward to phone up a mental health line to talk but they are the kindest people you can imagine. They pulled me back from the edge. I would not be here right now without them phone calls because my own mind would’ve convinced me that it’s better off if I wasn’t here. If you feel you can’t talk to anyone, then talk to them.
I’ve only had experience with Merseycare but I am sure they are all equally as brilliant.
Going forward, I now have weekly counselling which I am very grateful for.
Times are tough right now, so please look after yourself.
Spot on that mate and a fantastic example of how making that call can make all the difference.
Take care mate and keep us posted on how you get on.
A good and honest post mate. I haven't got quite to your point in life but I have found it hard to get much help when needed. Most people have just shrugged there shoulders at me and told me to man up.
I'm don't live on Merseyside though. It must of been scary going into A&E . Good on you though.
Ignore the folk who tell you to "man up" mate, if you feel you need help find the relevant people who can help you. Whether that be your gp or a call to a helpline there will be someone who can get you back on track buddy.