Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
Secret diary of Aldo aged 61 1/2Anyone got a daily Aldo update?lol
11:00 am Woke up early with a headache today. That 8th can of Special Brew must have been off. Note to self, go to a different cornershop so I don't get that duff stuff from Bargain Booze. Twitter was going off last night. A load of nuggets calling me an idiot. I am destined to go unacknowledged as a genius in my own life time. Pfft.
12:00 Left a message on Kenny's answerphone. I love him. He's my bestest mate. Hope he calls back soon.
1:30 Lunch. I ate half a kebab that I had found last night. Proper good. That food is really the miracle of Istanbul. I told the wife that, and she said that I kept telling that joke every time I ate a kebab. I asked her if she knew how many time had I said that and she didn't know, so I hit her with "SIX TIMES!" Can't wait to tell Kenny that when he calls.
3:00 Effing pigeons in the garden mocking me again. Went out to web the nuggets. The dirty sods only went and sh*t up my car. Effing nuggets. Worse than Everton fans.
4:00 Kenny still hasn't called. Maybe he thinks social isolation means the phone too. The silly sod. I love him.
5:00 Bloody hell, the FA, Premier League and UEFA still haven't announced the league firing back up. What are they playing at? I'm so mad. I'm going to calm down with a can of special brew.
Midnight Yerssss all bunch of fuggnuggits yer basssshtedss. 30 yearss and you still can't let us win. Bloody agenda. Youse can all go zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz