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Embarrassing travel stories

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AlE

AlE

Player Valuation: £20m
Mine is tame but I thought I'd share it in the hope of some good stuff being returned...

Just spent three nights in Belgium, where on the first night I enjoyed some famous Belgian blondes in Gent. The second day we set out to explore Brussels...

Long story short, I got the shts and the bird at Brussels Centraaaaal's toilets kept banging on the door shouting "monsieur" at me... Which is fine
 
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AlE said:
Mine is tame but I thought I'd share it in the hope of some good stuff being returned...

Just spent three nights in Belgium, where on the first night I enjoyed some famous Belgian blondes in Gent. The second day we set out to explore Brussels...

Long story short, I got the shts and the bird at Brussels Centraaaaal's toilets kept banging on the door shouting "monsieur" at me... Which is fine
Click to expand...
This happened to my grandfather in Brussels too, and my father. Unfortunately I too suffered the same fate…. Runs in the family
 

AlE said:
Mine is tame but I thought I'd share it in the hope of some good stuff being returned...

Just spent three nights in Belgium, where on the first night I enjoyed some famous Belgian blondes in Gent. The second day we set out to explore Brussels...

Long story short, I got the shts and the bird at Brussels Centraaaaal's toilets kept banging on the door shouting "monsieur" at me... Which is fine
Click to expand...
Had to do an emergency jobbie in the sea in Cambodia. Was not as gross as I thought. Not sure I have been the same since
 

Didnt happen to me but a lad I used to
Play football with met up with a girl from round his in Ibiza. On the last night they went back to his and during the throws of passion he completely snapped his rifle. Ended up having to get something put into it that meant it had to be snapped like a glow stick every time he wanted an errection. Eventually they replaced it with a third ball so he could pump it up and let the air out at will. They stayed together for a while I think it was more out of pity on her behalf for what had happened but it eventually ended
 
Despite having read up about it before arriving, I got got by the classic Chinese tea house scam.

I was fresh off the plane after about 18 hours travel and wanted to get right into the action in Beijing. Went to near Tiananmen Square and some fella approached me, asked if I speak English then proceeded to be my best mate offering me tips about what to see and do etc on holiday.

Walking and talking about 20 minutes and he suggests a drink, friendly enough and he was good in conversation so I stupidly agreed, I suppose as I was on my own and wanting to find out more about his city.

Went into this tea house and were ushered into a private, lavish room where they performed some kind of tea ceremony with a variety of teas and biscuits, before presenting us a bill of about £75.

My mate feigned horror and was apologising to me, saying he'll take care of it, obviously knowing, or at least hoping, I'd take pity on him and split the bill. He 'negotiated' the bill down to about £50 and I handed over around £25, for about 3 cups of tea and a handful of biccies.

Could clearly have been a hell of a lot worse, but it still embarrasses me to this day as I've travelled all over the world and never been had like that before or after this!
 
Went on a booze cruise in Magaluf, got absolutely wrecked, had to get carried off and the lads dropped me off at the hotel. I never had my key, but luckily one of the girls opposite said I could get my head down there, as they were on their way out for tea. When they came back I woke up and got off back to my room, to get in my own bed. It was only about half an hour later when the girl knocked on the door to ask my mate what I had done in her bed, turned out i'd shat myself.

The lads ripped me anout it but I wasn't that bothered, these things happen. I swapped bed sheets and mattress with her and got it all sorted by reception, I also destroyed any chance of any of us goosing any of the birds in that room as well.
 
Shortly after one of the terrorist atrocities, a big gang of us went to Benidorm for a long weekend, so all the airports where on a very high state of alert.

On the way back, we got a massive kitchen knife, which we pinched from the apartments we`d been staying in and put it in the bottom of the bag, wrapped up in a towel, of a lad, who`d been a massive, annoying pain in the arse all weekend.

Needless to say airport security, where all over him, when his bag went through the X ray machine and he was subject of a full strip search, including all body cavities.

He wasn`t a happy camper, let`s put it that way lol
 
Last edited:
ArtetaMoney said:
Went on a booze cruise in Magaluf, got absolutely wrecked, had to get carried off and the lads dropped me off at the hotel. I never had my key, but luckily one of the girls opposite said I could get my head down there, as they were on their way out for tea. When they came back I woke up and got off back to my room, to get in my own bed. It was only about half an hour later when the girl knocked on the door to ask my mate what I had done in her bed, turned out i'd shat myself.

The lads ripped me anout it but I wasn't that bothered, these things happen. I swapped bed sheets and mattress with her and got it all sorted by reception, I also destroyed any chance of any of us goosing any of the birds in that room as well.
Click to expand...
Who'd have thought girls in Magaluf were so choosy?
 

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