Everton Transfer Thread - Summer 2020

[Azza]

Why are we so slow both on the pitch and off it. We must do our negotiations by Morse code or carrier pigeon.

 

[Bob Latchford]

Why are we so slow both on the pitch and off it. We must do our negotiations by Morse code or carrier pigeon.

Smoke signals mate.
With the dark nights coming in we cease communications at 8pm.

 

[KaiserEFC]

Why are we so slow both on the pitch and off it. We must do our negotiations by Morse code or carrier pigeon.

Because when the window is closed we’re not allowed to sign players (ignore the other teams doing it) because of this it’s not worth drawing up a list of targets besides, paper is expensive.

When the window opens we wait a week before we have a meeting about thinking about thinking about drawing up a list of targets because we don’t want to stress out the transfer team (Marcel Brands and a 1998 Dell laptop). We then find out what funds we have available by withdrawing all the transfer money out in pennies and counting it three times for absolute precision before putting it in the worlds biggest piggy bank.

A couple more meetings and a trip to Staples later and we’re ready to set up a BT broadband account for the laptop which doesn’t work because we have dial up and start listening to the messages from Arsenal, Man United and Man City on our answerphone offering us (through muffled sniggers) some of their players who are “really good, don’t let the fact they don’t play much put you off” for “reasonable” prices.

Football manager 2011 is then fired up as our database for players and we spend weeks tapping up some of the high potential players from this. When for reasons unknown we can’t seem to be able to contact/find most of the players from this list and all the really good ones are weirdly playing for top teams and aren’t 18 anymore we realise we’ve spent most of the pennies on paper, pencils and internet and we start listening to those answerphone messages because there’s only 4 hours of the window left and we really need players in. Where does the time go!

 

[MrGrumpy]

Anyone else think Rodriguez is gonna stink the gaff our next season.

I can hear the boo’s ringing around Goodison already when he doesn’t score blamos and his passes are going astray.

His record under Carlo is amazing
Something like 31 games played
14 goals and 14 assists. If he can get any where near that for us it would be amazing

 

[MrGrumpy]

Because when the window is closed we’re not allowed to sign players (ignore the other teams doing it) because of this it’s not worth drawing up a list of targets besides, paper is expensive.

When the window opens we wait a week before we have a meeting about thinking about thinking about drawing up a list of targets because we don’t want to stress the transfer team (Marcel Brands and a 1998 Dell laptop) out. We then find out what funds we have available by withdrawing all the transfer money out in pennies and counting it three times for absolute precision.

A couple more meetings and a trip to Staples later and we’re ready to set up a BT broadband account for the laptop and start listening to the messages from Arsenal, Man United and Man City on our answerphone offering us (through muffled sniggers) some of their players who are “really good, don’t let the fact they don’t play much put you off” for “reasonable” prices.

You forgot to mention the dial up Internet we are still using... Marcel who this player and what does he looking like? Well I can tell you that information in around 4 and half hours, give or take a few hours

 

[Harryflashman]

Anyone else think Rodriguez is gonna stink the gaff our next season.

I can hear the boo’s ringing around Goodison already when he doesn’t score blamos and his passes are going astray.

this is why we aren’t allowed nice things

 

[davek]

Kean out, Ramsey in.

You'd take that in a heartbeat.

 

[Jayhow15]

Kean out, Ramsey in.

You'd take that in a heartbeat.

Really ?
Richy or DCL get long term injury then we are royally screwed.

 

[Lloydystark]

If we didnt but any midfielders this window I doubt I would bother watching this season.

Not even with bolasie back?

 

[Lloydystark]

Kean out, Ramsey in.

You'd take that in a heartbeat.

Gordon Ramsey says no

 

[MrGrumpy]

Kean out, Ramsey in.

You'd take that in a heartbeat.

Err no

 

[davek]

Really ?
Richy or DCL get long term injury then we are royally screwed.

He's a playmaker, he's not a forward.

The upgrade is not on position but on a player-in player-out basis.

 

[davek]

Err no

Player with a brain, player without a brain.

 

[Disgruntledgoat]

Alternative we are in the CL no homegrown talent and we need to fill out the ranks

You need 8 homegrown players in your Premied League squad too.

 

[KaiserEFC]

You forgot to mention the dial up Internet we are still using... Marcel who this player and what does he looking like? Well I can tell you that information in around 4 and half hours, give or take a few hours

I love the idea of him loading Rodriguez’s Wikipedia page and it doing that awful jittered downwards page load you used to get