Farting

[Groucho]

At the turn of the century I worked with someone who used to treat us to donations of gas from his personal tank. When taken to task over it he simply said “everyone likes the smell of their own”.

It’s one of those things that we all do, but pretend that it’s ok for us to do yet is awful for anyone else to do.

A true Oscar winning performance is the ability to fart in public and not be suspected.

Discuss.

 

[Daveysgingerlovechild]

All the awards, this is why.

Got a mate who spent years trying to perfect lighting his own farts. I think he managed it once. Used rock back with his knees up, reach down and click on his lighter as he farted.

 

[Tommy Chong]

Whatever doesn’t pay rent must get evicted mate.

 

[chrismpw]

Generally quite proud of mine, but I discharged on in my campervan last week's end and ended standing outside in the rain.

I was camping alone too.

 

[bluerobert]

I once let one go in a boozer that wafted through the bar into all the other rooms. The highlight being a fella putting a beer mat over his pint declaring “that’s a disgrace”. His face still makes me chuckle to this day

 

[anton66]

Guinness farts should be on the banned weapons list.
Me arl fella used to think it was quite funny to fart into a cushion, then throw it over to you. The smell would make you temporarily unconscious.

 

[Rita_Poon]

The ultra rare one's that take the paint off the walls. Olfactory perfection.

 

[Gwladys St. Glory]

Your wife is not your sister; end of story.

 

[Littlesue]

Have to say in over 50 years no one as ever heard me fart, various husbands, boyfriends, kids, work mates (had over 50 jobs in that time). Quite a feat, think I deserve a medal

Smelling one though might be a different matter

 

[maccavennie]

Potential to be one of the greatest threads of all time @Groucho lol

 

[maccavennie]

I once let one go in a boozer that wafted through the bar into all the other rooms. The highlight being a fella putting a beer mat over his pint declaring “that’s a disgrace”. His face still makes me chuckle to this day

lol

 

[maccavennie]

Guinness farts should be on the banned weapons list.
Me arl fella used to think it was quite funny to fart into a cushion, then throw it over to you. The smell would make you temporarily unconscious.

lol my dad used to do the same lol

 

[maccavennie]

Have to say in over 50 years no one as ever heard me fart, various husbands, boyfriends, kids, work mates (had over 50 jobs in that time). Quite a feat, think I deserve a medal

Smelling one though might be a different matter

lol my sister (aged 47) still swears blind she doesn't fart Sue and she's never been caught (audio wise) either lol

 

[longers]

Started taking Omeprazole for acid reflux the other week and literally turned into a fart generator for a couple of days. That stuff is insane, must have farted about 200 times in a day (mostly loud rippers as well, although oddly scentless, like the polar opposite to 'silent but violent').

Too much info ?

 

[chrismpw]

Reminds me of the all-time classic joke involving a well known athlete and an off pint along the lines of ...

Did you fart I'm my Whitbread?
No - I'm Tessa Sanderson