GoldenToffee
Player Valuation: £60m
I love a bit of crop dusting while disembarking an aircraft.
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Farting
- Thread starter Groucho
- Start date
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A Christmas fart is the ultimate.
It's a heady mix of Guinness , Sprouts & Xmas pudding.
If we are at home Boxing day it's best to take a mask
CrustySack
Player Valuation: £0.99p
I used to have a mate who rejoiced in doing 360° farts. He would jump up and spin like a ballet dancer while letting rip mid air.
DavidH
Player Valuation: £20m
A Christmas fart is the ultimate.
It's a heady mix of Guinness , Sprouts & Xmas pudding.
If we are at home Boxing day it's best to take a mask
Hahahaha you've just reminded me of something from years ago. me and my mate were waiting for my other mate to get changed to go the match one Boxing Day. We were in the front room and there was loads left over xmas dinner on the table that his mum said we can make a sandwich out of. Anyway we gave the dog a load of sprouts and started scanning. About 10 minutes later we heard his dad shout "You dirty C!!!" and slam the back kitchen door. Dog had waddled in while my mates dad was reading his paper and dropped a few bombs so got lashed out into the garden hahahahaha
Diogenes the Cynic
Player Valuation: £40m
Farting damages the ozone layer but the government haven't managed to put any regulations in place, absolutely typical.
bluerobert
Player Valuation: £30m
Dogs are the true masters at it. I once got locked in a shed with a couple of mates and one of their boxer dogs that had gone through most of a box of Millie’s cookies. 40 minutes we were stuck in there till his mum came home and let us out. Before the days of mobile phones, we’d accepted our fate
Farting reminds me of Newcastle for some reason.
Was in fazakerly hospital toilets, the ones in the main tower entrance, on the right. A fella in the other cubicle was letting out the most rip roaring ones - between evacuations. Poor bloke sounded in agony, kept growling 'oh Jesus Christ!' And moaning after each one.
Was hilarious and haunting in equal measure.
Was hilarious and haunting in equal measure.
Years back I was driving to Exeter after a heavy night on cask ale, dropped one so grotty I had to pull up on the hard shoulder and get out.
I remember when I was in my teens working as a labourer. I was working with a mate of mine, and one day he done my head in, cant remember why. He left his meal deal bottle of Tropicana on the side, and I dont know why, but I had the urge to let of a stinking guff inside the bottle, so I did just that. The top of the bottle is big enough to do this, it's a lot bigger than the usual bottle top , coke for instance. I waited patiently for his to proceed to drink it, his reactions were priceless. He kept doing that thing when you are slapping your mouth together to try n figure out what the funny taste was, then he finished it off.
I never did tell him to this day
I never did tell him to this day
We were in this lovely chateau on the Loire last week, beautiful place, but there's this one room that's very sombre:
https://frenchtravelboutique.com/louise-of-lorraine-bed/
Incredibly dark and moody bit of an otherwise fairytale gaf. Anyway, me and mrs D are stood there and this arl fella walks in with his audio guide headphones on, stands next to us, lets rip and wanders off. I chuckled a bit but she's on the verge of collapse, hanging on to me and burying her face into my shoulder to try and contain the giggles, which sets me off. Then there's all these tourists piling in wondering why we're stood in this sad room laughing our heads off.
https://frenchtravelboutique.com/louise-of-lorraine-bed/
Incredibly dark and moody bit of an otherwise fairytale gaf. Anyway, me and mrs D are stood there and this arl fella walks in with his audio guide headphones on, stands next to us, lets rip and wanders off. I chuckled a bit but she's on the verge of collapse, hanging on to me and burying her face into my shoulder to try and contain the giggles, which sets me off. Then there's all these tourists piling in wondering why we're stood in this sad room laughing our heads off.
My personal GOAT fart was on the top deck of a bus very early one morning as me and a few mates were making our way back to a campsite in Devon having been out all night. There was only the four of us and the conductor. 3 mates and the conductor raced downstairs and were all clinging on to the pole in the doorway and leaning out as far as they possibly could on a bitterly cold morning in teeming rain.
This was over 50 years ago now and I still chuckle as I recall the mixture of disgust and panic on their soaking wet faces. lol
This was over 50 years ago now and I still chuckle as I recall the mixture of disgust and panic on their soaking wet faces. lol
Goodison87
Player Valuation: £35m
Aren’t they just. We had a cracking little dog (Heinz 57) could eat anything.
She met her match a few days before Christmas when she managed to get on to the kitchen counter some how. She ate a full uncooked turkey crown and a box of boozy continental chocolates.
She was only small and she’d doubled in size when we returned from work, she was pissed. The smell she started to drop just an hour later made us all throw up, several times over. One of the neighbours insisted they could smell it for two days or so, it literally cling to the walls, furniture and curtains. We called it the smell of hell. Right a rain two days later …
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