Farting

[bluenotred]

I was doing some work at a home and the owner had given me a key to get in the back door. It was as I entered the house i let off a ripper thinking I was safe. Little did I know that it was an off day for school and as I passed the family room there there was about six teenage girls who were having a sleep over and they were laughing hysterically. Talk about embarrassing.

 

[Davidoff]

I farted reading this thread just now. Phwoar the misses is well annoyed, the kids are crying, the mother in law is fewmin, my mar is mortified, me nans in tears now too, I'm being threatened with divorce now ffs phwoar it stinks rar good tho

 

[blue to the bone]

Three of us in new York for a few days. By day 3 or 4 guts were gone. In the pig and whistle bar near Times Square. The smell from the farts was so bad and so frequent the bar Man phoned some guy to come check the sewers were not blocked.

 

[Blue 1]

4 cans of Old 9% Special Brew + Curry Goat, Rice & Peas, Fried dumpling and plantain makes the worst farts in the world. Only time my wife went to sleep in a different room because of my stinky arse.

 

[ETID]

Back when I was in college we went out the night before an internal exam, needless to say as we were in construction things got messy, on the morning of the exam I had this urge to let one slip, it was what felt like a small warm pocket of air, it was by far the worse I have done in over 40 years, once it started to spread the exam was called off as the examinator refused to stay in the room, to this day on our annual meet up I still maintain it was the guy sat next to me,

 

[Rita_Poon]

Back when I was in college we went out the night before an internal exam, needless to say as we were in construction things got messy, on the morning of the exam I had this urge to let one slip, it was what felt like a small warm pocket of air, it was by far the worse I have done in over 40 years, once it started to spread the exam was called off as the examinator refused to stay in the room, to this day on our annual meet up if still maintain it was the guy sat next to me,

Thought there was gonna be a bit more liquidity to that story, seems the masses aren't prepared to erm, break the seal...

 

[ETID]

Thought there was gonna be a bit more liquidity to that story, seems the masses aren't prepared to erm, break the seal...

In all my years I have not broken the seal yet

 

[Bedfordblue]

Back when I was in college we went out the night before an internal exam, needless to say as we were in construction things got messy, on the morning of the exam I had this urge to let one slip, it was what felt like a small warm pocket of air, it was by far the worse I have done in over 40 years, once it started to spread the exam was called off as the examinator refused to stay in the room, to this day on our annual meet up I still maintain it was the guy sat next to me,

A heady mix indeed

 

[Tipp blue]

On a lads holiday in gran canaria staying in the green field hotel on the top floor, after breakfast one day we got the lift back up and one of the lads let rip the most foul stinker I've ever come across, as the door opened at our floor there was a family of 5 waiting to get in.. we all left and... they got in.. and straight back out...then the mother shouted at us "you f****ng disgusting pigs" and they ended up taking the stairs...

 

[Bedfordblue]

When out on the lash and using black cabs to get around, one of my mates has a habit of trying to engage in ‘bantz’ with the drivers, who despite it probably being pretty annoying (sometime funny mind) generally they will go along with it, however there’s always one or two who are proper misery’s. When that occurs my mate generally makes sure he’s the last one out before offering ‘here’s your tip mate’ and letting one rip in the back of their cab.

 

[Bilko]

I've a good mate who had a stroke a couple of years back,whatever meds he is on ,he's girl tells me she has to take air freshener to bed with her. His doctor has prescribed a drug to combat the smell, apparently peppermint now, what power he has !.

 

[Tipp blue]

Back when I was in college we went out the night before an internal exam, needless to say as we were in construction things got messy, on the morning of the exam I had this urge to let one slip, it was what felt like a small warm pocket of air, it was by far the worse I have done in over 40 years, once it started to spread the exam was called off as the examinator refused to stay in the room, to this day on our annual meet up I still maintain it was the guy sat next to me,

I had a professor who used to leave the room whenever he heard a fart... Needless to say this caused a symphony of farts some days.

 

[bluenorthwarrior]

On a lads holiday in gran canaria staying in the green field hotel on the top floor, after breakfast one day we got the lift back up and one of the lads let rip the most foul stinker I've ever come across, as the door opened at our floor there was a family of 5 waiting to get in.. we all left and... they got in.. and straight back out...then the mother shouted at us "you f****ng disgusting pigs" and they ended up taking the stairs...

One of the best thing about a good ripper is the divisive effect it has.

For every outraged and incensed puritan who finds the idea of someone letting one go in public personally offensive there is at least one other whose inner child is doubled over crying with laughter.

 

[SundayMondayMagayeGueye]

Did an absolute classic in macdonalds on church street about 20 years ago after about 9 pints. The staff wouldn't come near the counter to serve me, another customer screamed at me, 'what is wrong with you?'...I just stood there with a scarecrow daft expression etched on my coupon, basking in the glory of the noxious fetor and just said, 'Beautiful'.

 

[DavidH]

Just left one in the bedroom while she sorts her clothes out (never ending, let's take these the charity shop oh not that) not having anything to do with it I only went upstairs for my phone charger. Have that you Sunday do gooder. Fitness is her passion until about 6 when I suggest a takeaway and she orders the menu .