The Penalty Box Dancer
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LEAGUE CUP FOURTH ROUND DRAW
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Former Everton Centre Forward Duncan Ferguson steps into management.....
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The Penalty Box Dancer
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EVERTON BEST DEFENCE IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE
It's only six games into the new season but Everton have tightened up quite significantly. Two goals conceded in their first six games against Man Utd and Brentford holding the best defensive record in the league statistically. James Tarkowski left the club for Lyon but the incoming Chrislain Matsima is playing well above expectation and has put in a solid performance every game so far. He has really made a difference to Everton's stability. Forward players have felt their frustration coming up against Matsima. Hojlund mentioned after their recent game with Everton that Matsima kept him out of the game and allowed him no space. Matsima won all 7 of his aerial duels that day too. Jurgen Klopp also paid respect to Matsima and Branthwaite when the recent derby finished 0-0. Salah and Gakpo were frozen out of the game and again both defenders were key in tackling and in the air too. They also finished the match with an impressive 95% rate of pass completion. Patterson and Mykolenko are off to a great start too with Mykolenko named man of the match on two occasions. Everton as a defensive unit have been in sync and the understanding on the pitch with the midfield duo of Onana and Samardzic in front of them. Igor Zubeldia and Ben Godfrey are both frustrated about lack of playing time but they cannot replace the effectiveness of Branthwaite and Matsima. It's key for Everton to keep them both fit and injury free throughout the season. Godfrey and Zubelida have shown they can step in when needed, keeping Everton in the League Cup this season with good performances against Barnsley and Bournemouth. Jordan Pickford has kept Everton in games with displays of maturity, keeping his head under pressure and pulling off some magnificent saves. His form so far this season being recognised all across Europe as one of the best Goalkeepers and firmly in the spot of England's number one.
It's only six games into the new season but Everton have tightened up quite significantly. Two goals conceded in their first six games against Man Utd and Brentford holding the best defensive record in the league statistically. James Tarkowski left the club for Lyon but the incoming Chrislain Matsima is playing well above expectation and has put in a solid performance every game so far. He has really made a difference to Everton's stability. Forward players have felt their frustration coming up against Matsima. Hojlund mentioned after their recent game with Everton that Matsima kept him out of the game and allowed him no space. Matsima won all 7 of his aerial duels that day too. Jurgen Klopp also paid respect to Matsima and Branthwaite when the recent derby finished 0-0. Salah and Gakpo were frozen out of the game and again both defenders were key in tackling and in the air too. They also finished the match with an impressive 95% rate of pass completion. Patterson and Mykolenko are off to a great start too with Mykolenko named man of the match on two occasions. Everton as a defensive unit have been in sync and the understanding on the pitch with the midfield duo of Onana and Samardzic in front of them. Igor Zubeldia and Ben Godfrey are both frustrated about lack of playing time but they cannot replace the effectiveness of Branthwaite and Matsima. It's key for Everton to keep them both fit and injury free throughout the season. Godfrey and Zubelida have shown they can step in when needed, keeping Everton in the League Cup this season with good performances against Barnsley and Bournemouth. Jordan Pickford has kept Everton in games with displays of maturity, keeping his head under pressure and pulling off some magnificent saves. His form so far this season being recognised all across Europe as one of the best Goalkeepers and firmly in the spot of England's number one.
Anybody else smell a cupset?
Half baked toffees mauled by tigers.
This stuff just writes itself.
Yarrgh
Player Valuation: £70m
Tigers choke on toffees.
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
Everton vs Middlesbrough
4th October 2025
It was the last round of fixtures before the International break and a chance to grab a huge three points to really make the media stand up and take notice. Middlesbrough were so far winless in the league with only a point so far coming against Bournemouth. The Everton side was picking itself currently but more was expected of Beto after 23 goals last season, so far just the two. Rodriguez took the ball from Samardzic, he had Gonzales to his left but he played in Beto who held off Lenihan but his shot was saved by the fingertips of Dieng taking it over the bar. James was getting the ball in that dangerous key area for a number 10, he was allowed far too much space and played it to Gonzalez inside the area who beat the keeper at a tight ange rolling it into the bottom corner! The breakthrough after 20 minutes! Onana lost the ball in the middle on 22 minutes, it was won back by Patterson but his pass forward was cut out by Svensson, Roony won it back with a great tackle, played it to Samardzic and he played it left to Gonzalez who was marked by Svensson and it ran through to Mykokenko on the overlap, he came forward down the left in space, took a look up and smashed it into the roof of the net from inside the area to make it 2-0! Everton had the chance to make it three on 32 minutes when Rodriguez lobbed the ball over the top beautifully for Beto but he tried to chip the keeper failing in the process. Dieng easily clutching the ball. The second half started, Everton comfortable and not even breaking a sweat. Patterson found Roony in space on the right side and he came forward, he cut it back across the box and James Rodriguez only had to hit it straight into the net and he did! That has to be job done! Middlesbrough came down the right with Isaiah Jones, he played it to Svensson inside the area, Rodriguez was there to win the ball and knock it out for a corner. Andrew Madley blew his whistle and awared a penalty! What was that for? Everton in uproar as Pickford comes down for a word but Middlesbrough surprised also. Ferguson was discussing the alleged incident with the fourth official and was very animated on the touchline. The replay showed Rodriguez left his foot high on Svensson after he won the ball and that was enough of a case to award a penalty, the rest of the stadium diagreed with the decision. Forss placed it down and took his run-up, he went to the left and Pickford got over to keep it out, great save! Everton fans around the stadium turned up the colume another notch as the team was on the verge of 9 unbeaten. James Garner came on for the last half hour replacing Samardzic. Gonzalez played the ball to Mykolenko who lobbed it into the box for Beto to knock in for the fourth, but the flag was up! Ferguson made two changes, Mykolenko was replaced by Roughan and Cham replaced Rodriguez. Cham had a great chance to finish the game on 80 minutes, Garner played a great ball forward and he volleyed into the side netting. Middlesbrough came forward towards the end but done little to really test Pickford. Konate and Maffeo were the final changes made with 5 minutes to go with Beto and Patterson coming off. Cham passed forward to Gonzales, he passed short to Onana in the final third and played a short pass to Roughan, he dribbled past Jones keeping the ball tight to his feet into the area and blasted over the keeper's head into the roof of the net from a tight angle! Sean Roughan with his first Everton goal on his Premier League debut! Middlesbrough had a corner on 88 minutes, Miguel put in a delightful cross and Lenihan connected with the header at the near post, 4-1. What a finish and the clean sheet chalked off for The Toffees. The goal done nothing to deter The Toffess from another win and another noteworthy performance!
Duncan, that was a good a win as any, four goals, football was very direct and you move into the top 6. How do you feel?
DF: We are going to keep doing what we are doing and see where the journey takes us. I was very pleased today but disappointed to concede a sloppy goal from a set-piece towards the end, our marking had to be better. An excellent performance aside from that and really pleased to see a goal for Sean Roughan who has been working hard in training and he just likes to keep his head down. Roony and James Rodriguez were outstanding again and their work rate really kept us moving in the final third. At 34 he has really turned back the clock with these quality performances.
PLAYER RATINGS
Nottingham Forest vs Everton
18th October 2025
Supporters were gsathering on social media and various podcasts fighting the case for Karim Konate and to get the start that they think he deserves. Beto had three goals in eight appearances so far this season but the last two performances were not his usual standard and Ferguson mentioned he may need a short rest to recapture last season's form. Konate got the chance he had been waiting for and was named on the teamsheet up top. Roony had a run forward on 7 minutes beating two in the process, he passed to Rodriguez and before he could be closed down he played it left to Gonzales, he took a shot but it lacked power and was easy for Odysseas. Onana was having a good first half, getting on the ball and getting the movement going in the final third, he was also quick to win the ball back at the back too. On 53 minutes Onana got the goal he deserved after Mykolenko knocked it to Rodriguez and he found Onana who used his pace to take it away from Talisca and Sangare and slot into the bottom left corner! Rodriguez played a great ball forward for Konate but his shot was blocked by Niakhate. Ferguson decided to make the change with just under 20 minutes to go and it was Konate and Gonzales who made way for Beto and Moleiro. Konate had the one chance but didn't do much else during the match. Forest were applying pressure but Everton rode it well with a great interception by Matsima, it allowed Rodriguez to play it wide to Moleiro and he played a good ball into the box for Beto to keep Richards away from him and poke it in to double the lead! That's why he is one of the league's best finishers! Forest pulled a goal back on 89 minutes when Awoniyi latched on to the long ball forward from Talisca and buried it into the bottom left corner, game on! Do Forest have one last chance in them? Elanga passed forward and Olivera chased down the left, he played it into the box for Talisca and his shot was blocked behind by Matsima. The keeper came up for the corner, 48 seconds over the allotted 4 minutes. Targett swung it in, Beto cleared but it fell to Elanga who found a way through the bodies and find the net, 2-2! Forest rescued a point! Elanga was given too much space in the box and it feels like a defeat for Everton. Two goals at the death punishes Everton, Forest delighted to grab a late point after most of the ground had already walked out! Everton made to pay in the last 6 minutes!
DF: Well Monday Night Football didn't disappoint! Look, we should have won that game and been home and dry but we allowed two late goals far too easily. This is football and it happens up and down the country so we can't kick ourselves too much. I'm happy we are still unbeaten this season and there's a target on our back. It's nice to be the focus of other teams to beat us but we are playing well. Tonight was a chance to really make a statement and go into the top 5 but there's a lot of football to play and we have to get ourselves ready for this coming weekend.
PLAYER RATINGS
Everton vs Leicester City
25th October 2025
Just the one change from the last match and it's Beto back in the side. Leicester were on a poor run with just one point from their last five games and Everton will no doubt be looking to stretch their unbeaten run further. The first ten minutes brought the fans to their feet with a high tempo press deployed by Everton and the back line pushing up to win the ball on the halfway line. Roony played it into Beto on 10 minutes but Faes got there first and put it behind for a corner. Roony was causing havoc down the right and his pace was unrivalled, he cut inside and took a shot with his left but Leno turned it behind. Samardzic played the ball into the feet of Beto on 22 minutes but he was clattered from behind by Coady, penalty given! VAR confirmed the decision as Coady went through Beto but escaped a booking. James Rodriguez got his fourth of the season as he rolled it into the net sending Leno the wrong way! The football from Everton in the first half was delightful to watch, one touch passing and attacking intent. When Roony gets on the ball he is dangerous coming forward and Leicester are backing off him. What a half he has had. Five minutes into the second half and Leicester were trying to get forward, Gonzales won it back and calmly played it back to Pickford urging him to relax. It was played out to Matsima who came forward and passed to Onana, he played it wide to Gonzalez and he dribbled down the left, his cross was perfect into the box for Beto but Faes heading it back towards Gonzalez who took it down, passed into the box to Beto, he played it back to Samardzic and he found Roony in space inside the area who controlled it brilliantly and shot into the bottom left corner, 2-0! With around 15 minutes to go, Rodriguez's number came up and he was replaced by Arda Guler. James Rodriguez showing his class at 34 once again. Justin Kluivert was on for Leicester and he got an assist on 84 minutes playing it to Winks to slot in from 18 yards, Leicester back in and a scary moment for Everton. The board went up for 7 additional minutes as Everton made some changes, Garner and Maffeo came on for Samardzic and Patterson. Roughan also came on for Mykolenko but went down injured having to go off leaving Everton to finish ther match with ten men. Leicester came forward with Kluivert and he won his side a late corner, Pickford was at his best and claimed it in the air bringing the game to an end and confirming the three points for Everton!
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
4th October 2025
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It was the last round of fixtures before the International break and a chance to grab a huge three points to really make the media stand up and take notice. Middlesbrough were so far winless in the league with only a point so far coming against Bournemouth. The Everton side was picking itself currently but more was expected of Beto after 23 goals last season, so far just the two. Rodriguez took the ball from Samardzic, he had Gonzales to his left but he played in Beto who held off Lenihan but his shot was saved by the fingertips of Dieng taking it over the bar. James was getting the ball in that dangerous key area for a number 10, he was allowed far too much space and played it to Gonzalez inside the area who beat the keeper at a tight ange rolling it into the bottom corner! The breakthrough after 20 minutes! Onana lost the ball in the middle on 22 minutes, it was won back by Patterson but his pass forward was cut out by Svensson, Roony won it back with a great tackle, played it to Samardzic and he played it left to Gonzalez who was marked by Svensson and it ran through to Mykokenko on the overlap, he came forward down the left in space, took a look up and smashed it into the roof of the net from inside the area to make it 2-0! Everton had the chance to make it three on 32 minutes when Rodriguez lobbed the ball over the top beautifully for Beto but he tried to chip the keeper failing in the process. Dieng easily clutching the ball. The second half started, Everton comfortable and not even breaking a sweat. Patterson found Roony in space on the right side and he came forward, he cut it back across the box and James Rodriguez only had to hit it straight into the net and he did! That has to be job done! Middlesbrough came down the right with Isaiah Jones, he played it to Svensson inside the area, Rodriguez was there to win the ball and knock it out for a corner. Andrew Madley blew his whistle and awared a penalty! What was that for? Everton in uproar as Pickford comes down for a word but Middlesbrough surprised also. Ferguson was discussing the alleged incident with the fourth official and was very animated on the touchline. The replay showed Rodriguez left his foot high on Svensson after he won the ball and that was enough of a case to award a penalty, the rest of the stadium diagreed with the decision. Forss placed it down and took his run-up, he went to the left and Pickford got over to keep it out, great save! Everton fans around the stadium turned up the colume another notch as the team was on the verge of 9 unbeaten. James Garner came on for the last half hour replacing Samardzic. Gonzalez played the ball to Mykolenko who lobbed it into the box for Beto to knock in for the fourth, but the flag was up! Ferguson made two changes, Mykolenko was replaced by Roughan and Cham replaced Rodriguez. Cham had a great chance to finish the game on 80 minutes, Garner played a great ball forward and he volleyed into the side netting. Middlesbrough came forward towards the end but done little to really test Pickford. Konate and Maffeo were the final changes made with 5 minutes to go with Beto and Patterson coming off. Cham passed forward to Gonzales, he passed short to Onana in the final third and played a short pass to Roughan, he dribbled past Jones keeping the ball tight to his feet into the area and blasted over the keeper's head into the roof of the net from a tight angle! Sean Roughan with his first Everton goal on his Premier League debut! Middlesbrough had a corner on 88 minutes, Miguel put in a delightful cross and Lenihan connected with the header at the near post, 4-1. What a finish and the clean sheet chalked off for The Toffees. The goal done nothing to deter The Toffess from another win and another noteworthy performance!
Duncan, that was a good a win as any, four goals, football was very direct and you move into the top 6. How do you feel?
DF: We are going to keep doing what we are doing and see where the journey takes us. I was very pleased today but disappointed to concede a sloppy goal from a set-piece towards the end, our marking had to be better. An excellent performance aside from that and really pleased to see a goal for Sean Roughan who has been working hard in training and he just likes to keep his head down. Roony and James Rodriguez were outstanding again and their work rate really kept us moving in the final third. At 34 he has really turned back the clock with these quality performances.
PLAYER RATINGS
Nottingham Forest vs Everton
18th October 2025
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Supporters were gsathering on social media and various podcasts fighting the case for Karim Konate and to get the start that they think he deserves. Beto had three goals in eight appearances so far this season but the last two performances were not his usual standard and Ferguson mentioned he may need a short rest to recapture last season's form. Konate got the chance he had been waiting for and was named on the teamsheet up top. Roony had a run forward on 7 minutes beating two in the process, he passed to Rodriguez and before he could be closed down he played it left to Gonzales, he took a shot but it lacked power and was easy for Odysseas. Onana was having a good first half, getting on the ball and getting the movement going in the final third, he was also quick to win the ball back at the back too. On 53 minutes Onana got the goal he deserved after Mykolenko knocked it to Rodriguez and he found Onana who used his pace to take it away from Talisca and Sangare and slot into the bottom left corner! Rodriguez played a great ball forward for Konate but his shot was blocked by Niakhate. Ferguson decided to make the change with just under 20 minutes to go and it was Konate and Gonzales who made way for Beto and Moleiro. Konate had the one chance but didn't do much else during the match. Forest were applying pressure but Everton rode it well with a great interception by Matsima, it allowed Rodriguez to play it wide to Moleiro and he played a good ball into the box for Beto to keep Richards away from him and poke it in to double the lead! That's why he is one of the league's best finishers! Forest pulled a goal back on 89 minutes when Awoniyi latched on to the long ball forward from Talisca and buried it into the bottom left corner, game on! Do Forest have one last chance in them? Elanga passed forward and Olivera chased down the left, he played it into the box for Talisca and his shot was blocked behind by Matsima. The keeper came up for the corner, 48 seconds over the allotted 4 minutes. Targett swung it in, Beto cleared but it fell to Elanga who found a way through the bodies and find the net, 2-2! Forest rescued a point! Elanga was given too much space in the box and it feels like a defeat for Everton. Two goals at the death punishes Everton, Forest delighted to grab a late point after most of the ground had already walked out! Everton made to pay in the last 6 minutes!
DF: Well Monday Night Football didn't disappoint! Look, we should have won that game and been home and dry but we allowed two late goals far too easily. This is football and it happens up and down the country so we can't kick ourselves too much. I'm happy we are still unbeaten this season and there's a target on our back. It's nice to be the focus of other teams to beat us but we are playing well. Tonight was a chance to really make a statement and go into the top 5 but there's a lot of football to play and we have to get ourselves ready for this coming weekend.
PLAYER RATINGS
Everton vs Leicester City
25th October 2025
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Just the one change from the last match and it's Beto back in the side. Leicester were on a poor run with just one point from their last five games and Everton will no doubt be looking to stretch their unbeaten run further. The first ten minutes brought the fans to their feet with a high tempo press deployed by Everton and the back line pushing up to win the ball on the halfway line. Roony played it into Beto on 10 minutes but Faes got there first and put it behind for a corner. Roony was causing havoc down the right and his pace was unrivalled, he cut inside and took a shot with his left but Leno turned it behind. Samardzic played the ball into the feet of Beto on 22 minutes but he was clattered from behind by Coady, penalty given! VAR confirmed the decision as Coady went through Beto but escaped a booking. James Rodriguez got his fourth of the season as he rolled it into the net sending Leno the wrong way! The football from Everton in the first half was delightful to watch, one touch passing and attacking intent. When Roony gets on the ball he is dangerous coming forward and Leicester are backing off him. What a half he has had. Five minutes into the second half and Leicester were trying to get forward, Gonzales won it back and calmly played it back to Pickford urging him to relax. It was played out to Matsima who came forward and passed to Onana, he played it wide to Gonzalez and he dribbled down the left, his cross was perfect into the box for Beto but Faes heading it back towards Gonzalez who took it down, passed into the box to Beto, he played it back to Samardzic and he found Roony in space inside the area who controlled it brilliantly and shot into the bottom left corner, 2-0! With around 15 minutes to go, Rodriguez's number came up and he was replaced by Arda Guler. James Rodriguez showing his class at 34 once again. Justin Kluivert was on for Leicester and he got an assist on 84 minutes playing it to Winks to slot in from 18 yards, Leicester back in and a scary moment for Everton. The board went up for 7 additional minutes as Everton made some changes, Garner and Maffeo came on for Samardzic and Patterson. Roughan also came on for Mykolenko but went down injured having to go off leaving Everton to finish ther match with ten men. Leicester came forward with Kluivert and he won his side a late corner, Pickford was at his best and claimed it in the air bringing the game to an end and confirming the three points for Everton!
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
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The Penalty Box Dancer
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Everton vs Hull City
League Cup Fourth Round
28th October 2025
It's not a given due to Everton's strong start and anything can happen in cup games. Changes were made with the likes of Doucoure, Okoronkwo, Maffeo, Guler and Konate all coming in to the team and 17 year old Alex Lombard-Corrigan was named as a substitute after impressive defensive performances for the u21's. The Bootle born lad was delighted to sit on the bench along with the first team. 6th place Championship side Hull were certainly no pushovers after knocking out least season's champions Arsenal on penalties. 10 minutes gone and Moleiro took the pass from Garner, he held it up and played it in for the overlapping Mykolenko who broke into the area and shot across the keeper into the bottom corner! Klefisch got away with one on 11 minutes when he tried to play it back to McCarthy and Konate intercepted but he hit the post, it should have been two. An Everton throw on the right by the corner flag, Okoronkwo played the one-two with Maffeo and then crossed low into the six yard box for Arda Guler to get on the score sheet! His first goal! Everton well into their rhythm and Okoronkwo was finding that groove again, he took the ball in the box from Doucoure and as he went to turn to strike he was brought down by Greaves. Penalty given! Arda Guler wanted the spot kick and was left to put the ball down, with his left foot he found the bottom left corner but the keeper came close to getting it. 3-0! Hull came close to getting one back on 38 minutes when Connolly just shot wide of the post. Arda Guler was really starting to show his quality and the ball over the top for Konate on 45 minutes was perfect, he controlled it and blasted it into the net from 10 yards out, the keeper getting a hand but not enough to keep it out, 4-0! Everton cannot stop scoring and they are destroying teams! It was a big moment on 66 minutes when Mykolenko went off for the Evertonian Alex Lombard-Corrigan to come on for an eagerly awaited debut in the royal blue shirt! The crowd gave him a rousing reception as he came on into central defence and Godfrey moving into Left Back. With a few minutes to go, the Hull City changes were taking effect and they came forward on the attack, Everton defending from the corner with Godfrey heading behind. Oscar's ball in was inch perfect to the far post but Kobayashi's header went wide. Pickford made a great stop when Tufan was given too much space inside the area in stoppage time but coming off his line was enough to deflect the ball over, keeping his clean sheet in tact. It was never in doubt! Everton put four past Hull City and they are now into the Quarter Final! Can Everton go all the way this year?
DF: First half we put the game to bed, just how we planned. Second half was a bit more nervy and they came close a couple of times but defensively we were solid and saw the game out. I was pleased for Alex tonight to come on and make his debut, he was fine and worked alongside some really experienced players so they helped take the pressure off. He's a young lad still developing and we don't want to rush him. We deserve to be in the next round and it'll be interesting to see who we draw as the competition will now get harder.
PLAYER RATINGS
Wolves vs Everton
2nd November 2024
Sky Super Sunday for Wolves vs Everton and Everton were the only team in the league still to be beaten as Brentford lost 3-0 to Man City on Saturday. Wolves were currently second from bottom in the table and with Everton in good form, the supporters were optimistic of a win on the road. Wolves were performing below expectation and seemed to have enough quality in their side to get out of the slump, could it be against an in-form Everton? Neto had an early chance for Wolves but it was blocked behind by Matsima for a corner. Onana was looking to get into the game but his passing was off, two attempted passes to Roony on the right was cut out too easily. Everton's best chance so far came on 27 minutes when Rodriguez's corner was met by the head of Matsima with power at the near post but Dan Burn blocked it on the line. Neto's ball forward was intercepted by Branthwaite and he calmly played a one-two with Pickford before playing it to Onana, he went wide to Gonzalez and from there it was knocked forward for Beto to race against Longstaff but he got it under control after a wayward first touch, composed himself in the area and beat Jose Sa to make it 1-0 on 40 minutes! Everton came close to doubling their lead on 59 minutes when Samardzic ran through into the area but his shot went across goal and out for a goal kick. Pickford was in good form and commanding in his area to keep Wolves crosses out. Everton's first changes came with around 15 minutes to go when Mykolenko was struggling for fitness and was replaced by Maffeo. Patterson went over on to the left and Maffeo played on the right. Moleiro came on for Gonzalez on the left side. Branthwaite was showing signs of a maturing defender and kept his cool at the back when a 1-0 slender lead was all Everton had. He passed forward to Onana and Onana went wide to Roony, Roony held it up and waited for Maffeo in support who crossed from deep and found Beto, he shrugged off Dan Burn and knocked it past Sa to grab his second and put the game in doubt for Wolves! The away fans chanted Beto's name as Everton were going into the top 5! Everton have been brilliant at winning the ball back and were playing with so much confidence. The whistle was blown and Everton moved into 5th in the table!
Duncan, 12 games unbeaten in all competitions, this is the stuff of fairy tales!
DF: We are enjoying our football and playing a way we haven't seen at this club for years. It's about time these supporters can come to the games and leave happy. We've never been great on the road but we are giving it our all for these fans to see goals and wins. The team have gelled and I have to admit that I'm surprised by how good we look!
How do you plan for each game and ensure the performances continue?
DF: We take it one game at a time and perform as best as we can, leaving it all out there. Improvements have been made in the backroom, myself and Jon (Aspiazu) have a great understanding but the man is a genius with his methods, he is key to our success on the pitch and has really put a lot of work in with these players. Franck Haise has been great since joining us this summer too and as a club we are on the right path.
PLAYER RATINGS
Everton vs Newcastle United
9th November 2025
Jose Mourinho's Newcastle came into this game in 17th with one win in eleven but things were more positive on Merseyside with Everton playing scintillating football. Sean Roughan was back from injury and was named on the bench and the rest of the side was unchanged. Beto had a great chance on 18 minutes when he was played in by Rodriguez and it looked destined for the to corner but it kept rising, so close. Everton looked so good on the attack Gonzalez played a great diagonal ball into the box for Roony who hit it first time on the bounce but it went over, great ball in. Newcastle made it difficult for Everton and were doing well to close dowm the space. the killer balls down the flanks were not working for The Toffees and Botman and Trippier were having a good game for Newcastle. Onana took it in the middle of the park and played it into the box for Mykolenko who knocked it on for Beto to bury into the bottom right corner! Isak wasn't having a good game and went off for Scamacca in the hope Newcastle can get something from this game. Moleiro replaced Gonzalez on the left for Everton. The game went on and with Livramento on the right fot Newcastle and Roughan on for the last few minutes, he got down the right and it ran through the players legs to Baldanzi who could not miss and he beat Pickford to level on 89 minutes! 96 minutes gone and it was all Newcastle as they stepped it up a gear, Livramento was a problem here and was not being dealt with, Tonali played it wide to Livramento and he crossed low into the box, Scamacca left Branthwaite and finished to win it for Newcastle! Jose Mourinho is up and down the line! Newcastle won the game and they only turned up for the last 10 minutes. A blow for Everton who had chances to win this by more than one goal but it's the smile on Jose's face at the end of this one as he wins in a true smash and grab style. Everton's first defeat this season and it's in a very harrowing way.
Duncan, you too some flack when Mykolenko's number came up and Livraemento was doing damage down that side.
DF: I can see the point because as soon as Mykolenko went off, we conceded down that side but I can't put that on Sean (Roughan) either because that wouldn't be fair. Vitaliy was having a really good game but I felt he was running on empty and they had fresh legs on the pitch. I won't deflect blame, it's maybe something I need to look at as a manager and accept that I may have got that one wrong.
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
League Cup Fourth Round
28th October 2025
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It's not a given due to Everton's strong start and anything can happen in cup games. Changes were made with the likes of Doucoure, Okoronkwo, Maffeo, Guler and Konate all coming in to the team and 17 year old Alex Lombard-Corrigan was named as a substitute after impressive defensive performances for the u21's. The Bootle born lad was delighted to sit on the bench along with the first team. 6th place Championship side Hull were certainly no pushovers after knocking out least season's champions Arsenal on penalties. 10 minutes gone and Moleiro took the pass from Garner, he held it up and played it in for the overlapping Mykolenko who broke into the area and shot across the keeper into the bottom corner! Klefisch got away with one on 11 minutes when he tried to play it back to McCarthy and Konate intercepted but he hit the post, it should have been two. An Everton throw on the right by the corner flag, Okoronkwo played the one-two with Maffeo and then crossed low into the six yard box for Arda Guler to get on the score sheet! His first goal! Everton well into their rhythm and Okoronkwo was finding that groove again, he took the ball in the box from Doucoure and as he went to turn to strike he was brought down by Greaves. Penalty given! Arda Guler wanted the spot kick and was left to put the ball down, with his left foot he found the bottom left corner but the keeper came close to getting it. 3-0! Hull came close to getting one back on 38 minutes when Connolly just shot wide of the post. Arda Guler was really starting to show his quality and the ball over the top for Konate on 45 minutes was perfect, he controlled it and blasted it into the net from 10 yards out, the keeper getting a hand but not enough to keep it out, 4-0! Everton cannot stop scoring and they are destroying teams! It was a big moment on 66 minutes when Mykolenko went off for the Evertonian Alex Lombard-Corrigan to come on for an eagerly awaited debut in the royal blue shirt! The crowd gave him a rousing reception as he came on into central defence and Godfrey moving into Left Back. With a few minutes to go, the Hull City changes were taking effect and they came forward on the attack, Everton defending from the corner with Godfrey heading behind. Oscar's ball in was inch perfect to the far post but Kobayashi's header went wide. Pickford made a great stop when Tufan was given too much space inside the area in stoppage time but coming off his line was enough to deflect the ball over, keeping his clean sheet in tact. It was never in doubt! Everton put four past Hull City and they are now into the Quarter Final! Can Everton go all the way this year?
DF: First half we put the game to bed, just how we planned. Second half was a bit more nervy and they came close a couple of times but defensively we were solid and saw the game out. I was pleased for Alex tonight to come on and make his debut, he was fine and worked alongside some really experienced players so they helped take the pressure off. He's a young lad still developing and we don't want to rush him. We deserve to be in the next round and it'll be interesting to see who we draw as the competition will now get harder.
PLAYER RATINGS
Wolves vs Everton
2nd November 2024
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Sky Super Sunday for Wolves vs Everton and Everton were the only team in the league still to be beaten as Brentford lost 3-0 to Man City on Saturday. Wolves were currently second from bottom in the table and with Everton in good form, the supporters were optimistic of a win on the road. Wolves were performing below expectation and seemed to have enough quality in their side to get out of the slump, could it be against an in-form Everton? Neto had an early chance for Wolves but it was blocked behind by Matsima for a corner. Onana was looking to get into the game but his passing was off, two attempted passes to Roony on the right was cut out too easily. Everton's best chance so far came on 27 minutes when Rodriguez's corner was met by the head of Matsima with power at the near post but Dan Burn blocked it on the line. Neto's ball forward was intercepted by Branthwaite and he calmly played a one-two with Pickford before playing it to Onana, he went wide to Gonzalez and from there it was knocked forward for Beto to race against Longstaff but he got it under control after a wayward first touch, composed himself in the area and beat Jose Sa to make it 1-0 on 40 minutes! Everton came close to doubling their lead on 59 minutes when Samardzic ran through into the area but his shot went across goal and out for a goal kick. Pickford was in good form and commanding in his area to keep Wolves crosses out. Everton's first changes came with around 15 minutes to go when Mykolenko was struggling for fitness and was replaced by Maffeo. Patterson went over on to the left and Maffeo played on the right. Moleiro came on for Gonzalez on the left side. Branthwaite was showing signs of a maturing defender and kept his cool at the back when a 1-0 slender lead was all Everton had. He passed forward to Onana and Onana went wide to Roony, Roony held it up and waited for Maffeo in support who crossed from deep and found Beto, he shrugged off Dan Burn and knocked it past Sa to grab his second and put the game in doubt for Wolves! The away fans chanted Beto's name as Everton were going into the top 5! Everton have been brilliant at winning the ball back and were playing with so much confidence. The whistle was blown and Everton moved into 5th in the table!
Duncan, 12 games unbeaten in all competitions, this is the stuff of fairy tales!
DF: We are enjoying our football and playing a way we haven't seen at this club for years. It's about time these supporters can come to the games and leave happy. We've never been great on the road but we are giving it our all for these fans to see goals and wins. The team have gelled and I have to admit that I'm surprised by how good we look!
How do you plan for each game and ensure the performances continue?
DF: We take it one game at a time and perform as best as we can, leaving it all out there. Improvements have been made in the backroom, myself and Jon (Aspiazu) have a great understanding but the man is a genius with his methods, he is key to our success on the pitch and has really put a lot of work in with these players. Franck Haise has been great since joining us this summer too and as a club we are on the right path.
PLAYER RATINGS
Everton vs Newcastle United
9th November 2025
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Jose Mourinho's Newcastle came into this game in 17th with one win in eleven but things were more positive on Merseyside with Everton playing scintillating football. Sean Roughan was back from injury and was named on the bench and the rest of the side was unchanged. Beto had a great chance on 18 minutes when he was played in by Rodriguez and it looked destined for the to corner but it kept rising, so close. Everton looked so good on the attack Gonzalez played a great diagonal ball into the box for Roony who hit it first time on the bounce but it went over, great ball in. Newcastle made it difficult for Everton and were doing well to close dowm the space. the killer balls down the flanks were not working for The Toffees and Botman and Trippier were having a good game for Newcastle. Onana took it in the middle of the park and played it into the box for Mykolenko who knocked it on for Beto to bury into the bottom right corner! Isak wasn't having a good game and went off for Scamacca in the hope Newcastle can get something from this game. Moleiro replaced Gonzalez on the left for Everton. The game went on and with Livramento on the right fot Newcastle and Roughan on for the last few minutes, he got down the right and it ran through the players legs to Baldanzi who could not miss and he beat Pickford to level on 89 minutes! 96 minutes gone and it was all Newcastle as they stepped it up a gear, Livramento was a problem here and was not being dealt with, Tonali played it wide to Livramento and he crossed low into the box, Scamacca left Branthwaite and finished to win it for Newcastle! Jose Mourinho is up and down the line! Newcastle won the game and they only turned up for the last 10 minutes. A blow for Everton who had chances to win this by more than one goal but it's the smile on Jose's face at the end of this one as he wins in a true smash and grab style. Everton's first defeat this season and it's in a very harrowing way.
Duncan, you too some flack when Mykolenko's number came up and Livraemento was doing damage down that side.
DF: I can see the point because as soon as Mykolenko went off, we conceded down that side but I can't put that on Sean (Roughan) either because that wouldn't be fair. Vitaliy was having a really good game but I felt he was running on empty and they had fresh legs on the pitch. I won't deflect blame, it's maybe something I need to look at as a manager and accept that I may have got that one wrong.
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
LEAGUE CUP QUARTER FINAL DRAW
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The Penalty Box Dancer
Player Valuation: £35m
Everton vs Arsenal
29th November 2025
After the International break it's back to league action and a tough game for Everton against title contenders Arsenal. Arsenal were beaten by Liverpool and Man Utd in their previous league games but got back to winning ways this week in the Champions League beating Seville 2-1. Karim Konate missed this game as he was away at the AFCON with Ivory Coast. Abdoulaye Doucoure was also away with Mali. Almost 2 minutes on the clock and James Rodriguez sent in the free-kick from deep, Gonzalez went up for the header but was impeded by Ben White and the referee wanted to take another look. After deliberating, a penalty was awarded! James Rodriguez ran up and smashed it into the bottom right corner, perfect start for Everton! Rodriguez played it wide to Gonzalez on the left who cut in and ran forward at goal, he took a shot on the outside of the left boot and it stung the hands of Ramsdale, good effort. Gonzalez came down the left, Vieira backed off as he was already on a yellow card, he crossed into the box and Beto headed into the ground and it was easy for Ramsdale. Everton defended well and it limited Arsenal's chances. Saka was kept out the game by Mykolenko throughout the first half. He was taken off on 50 minutes for Nico Williams. Everton made three substitutions on 73 minutes, Moleiro replaced Gonzalez, Guler replaced Samardzic and Okoronkwo came on for Roony. Beto signalled to come off on 89 minutes with an injury so Cham came on and Okoronkwo went up top. Beto walked off so hopefully not too serious. Rodriguez played it back to Branthwaite who brought the ball forward, he got to the area and passed back to Mykolenko, Everton taking their time, he passed to Onana and he found Guler in space on the edge of the box and he smashed it low under the arms of Ramsdale and made it 2-0! Everton sealing the victory! Everton were still coming forward and Moleiro smashed it against the bar on 94 minutes. Everton supporters were loving this. The game ended to bedlam inside Bramley Moore as Everton gave their supporters the perfect payback after defeat to Newcastle! Everton victors against a strong Arsenal side and they made it look easy!
DF: Arsenal had a great chance early on, Saka's shot was blocked by Branthwaite and I thought we were in for a slog but converting that penalty and then stopping them from playing out from the back worked wonders for us. We looked sharp on the ball and really played to our strengths. Very pleased tonight. Beto will be out for a couple of weeks with an anke injury, we'll to make changes to accomodate that especially with a trip to the Etihad in three days. But, tonight, I'm happy!
PLAYER RATINGS
Manchester City vs Everton
2nd December 2025
Beto was injured and ruled out for a few weeks with an ankle injury so Ferguson made the decision to play Gonzalez up top due to Konate being away at the AFCON. Rodriguez rightly played behind him as he was having a fantastic season, with 5 goals so far and Moleiro, yet to make his first league start, came in on the left. It wasn't a great start for Conte's City, in 4th and 7 points adrift of leaders Chelsea. It was a boost to Everton's chances as Haaland was left out of thr side but Thuram was still a threat with one goal in four appearances so far this season. It was a tight first 30 minutes but Everton holding their own at the Etihad and under no pressure from the home side. Roony took the pass on the right from Samardzic. He couldn't get the cross in but came to Patterson and Everton kept the ball around the Man City area. Mykolenko worked it down the left to Moleiro, he got the ball back to Rodriguez but he skied the shot from outside the box. Man City made changes at half-time and Bernardo SIlva was on for De Bruyne, Everrton had to defend against some early shots but City failed to hit the target. Ferguson made three changes with ten minutes to go, Okoronkwo came on for Roony, Cham came on for Samardzic and Guler replaced Rodriguez. Onana joined the attack on 86 minutes, he tried to find Cham but it deflected to Patterson, he got forward and went for goal but it was blocked by Gvardiol and out for a corner. The corner was cleared out for a throw-in by Lewis and Everton looked to take advantage, it went back to Matsima and he found Cham, he played a through ball into the box for Gonzalez but his shot was turned behind by Akanji. The corner was cleared and Raphina broke forward down the City right, he played it to Lewis but his cross was headed out by Matsima. City kept on the front foot inside stoppage time and Gvardiol crossed hard and low into the box, it hit Branthwaite and went in past Pickford giving Man City an undeserved lead. Heartbreak for Everton! Cham tried one last time for Everton with a lofting pass for Moleiro but it ran out for a goal kick and the City cheers went up. What a shattering defeat for Everton but so undeserved, they performed very well at the Etihad and should be proud of themselves.
Duncan, you took your team to the Etihad and were on top for most of the game with 57% possession. Considering last season the result here was 4-1 to Man City, you must be pleased with the display?
DF: Very pleased. Man City have the quality to hurt you but at times it looked like they were wary of what we were trying to do and we certainly got our foot on the ball and controlled the game. It was a close game and it's disappointing to lose how we did, Jarrad is disappointed but he has the backing of everybody and he can't blame himself for what happened, it's a defenders worst nightmare and it happens to the best of the best.
PLAYER RATINGS
Everton vs Brighton & Hove Albion
6th December 2025
The busiest period of the season was upon us and the table will take shape around this time. Everton have made a fantastic start and have lost only twice in thirteen games. With Beto and Roony injured, it was up to Nicolas Gonzalez to lead the line and Muhammed Cham to shine in a new role on the right wing. James Garner was named as a substitute today after returning from injury. Everton started on the front foot, a couple of chsances created early on but Cham was in an offside position when he struck over the bar from inside the box. Gross sent in the free-kick for Brighton on 13 minutes but it was headed away by Matsima who has been a rock for Everton this season, he chased the ball down and sent it long for Gonzalez to run on to, he knocked it past Kozlowski and the Everton fans roared him on, just the keeper to beat and he slotted across goal into tbe bottom right, 1-0 to Everton! Moleiro was caught in possession on 23 minutes by Pedro, it allowed Brighton to get on the ball and get players forward. Matsima done enough to deter Evan Ferguson but the ball ran through to Kozlowski who took it in his stride and played it wide right to Pedro, he slotted it through into the box for Ndombele and he nudged it past Pickford to level for Brighton. Everton were not deterred by the equaliser and Moleiro found Rodriguez who sent in an intelligent chipped pass through to Gonzalez who took it down in the area and knocked it over Verbruggen to put Everton back in front! Two goals for the Everton stand-in Striker! Samardzic got on the ball in the centre and went on a run forward, he got to the edge of the box and his shot was turned behind, great save. Rodriguez's corner was headed away but Everton kept the pressure on, Samardzic played it back out to Rodriguez and he sent it to the far post, Moleiro headed back across goal and Gonzalez headed in for his hattrick! Three goals in the first half! Cham crossed in from the right a couple of minutes later and Gonzalez came very close to a fourth with a header that was a couple of inches wide. Everton made a double change with 23 minutes to go, it was both full backs being replaced, Patterson and Mykolenko both off for Maffeo and Roughsn. Another double change for Everton with ten minutes left, Onana was replaced by Zubeledia and Rodriguez went off for Guler. With four minutes to go, Samardzic ran forward, he has covered a lot of ground today, he passed wide to Cham, he played the pass inside to Samardzic and he toe poked it through the defence and into the bottom corner, 4-1! What a day for Everton! Everton played with such confidence and put their chances away. Gonzalez played a perfect game up front and was clinical in front of goal, the players worked tirelessly once again to put Everton's name amongst those mentioned at the early stage of the season as a team with European ambitions!
Duncan, Nicolas Gonzales was exceptional today, can his goals help Everton realise their ambitions?
DF: Nico is a natural Striker, he just happens to also be a decent wide player too, so we have that versatility. Whether he plays from the left, the right or in the centre, he's going to be a key part to our attacking play. He put in a true Striker's performance today and was a threat to Brighton for the whole game.
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
29th November 2025
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After the International break it's back to league action and a tough game for Everton against title contenders Arsenal. Arsenal were beaten by Liverpool and Man Utd in their previous league games but got back to winning ways this week in the Champions League beating Seville 2-1. Karim Konate missed this game as he was away at the AFCON with Ivory Coast. Abdoulaye Doucoure was also away with Mali. Almost 2 minutes on the clock and James Rodriguez sent in the free-kick from deep, Gonzalez went up for the header but was impeded by Ben White and the referee wanted to take another look. After deliberating, a penalty was awarded! James Rodriguez ran up and smashed it into the bottom right corner, perfect start for Everton! Rodriguez played it wide to Gonzalez on the left who cut in and ran forward at goal, he took a shot on the outside of the left boot and it stung the hands of Ramsdale, good effort. Gonzalez came down the left, Vieira backed off as he was already on a yellow card, he crossed into the box and Beto headed into the ground and it was easy for Ramsdale. Everton defended well and it limited Arsenal's chances. Saka was kept out the game by Mykolenko throughout the first half. He was taken off on 50 minutes for Nico Williams. Everton made three substitutions on 73 minutes, Moleiro replaced Gonzalez, Guler replaced Samardzic and Okoronkwo came on for Roony. Beto signalled to come off on 89 minutes with an injury so Cham came on and Okoronkwo went up top. Beto walked off so hopefully not too serious. Rodriguez played it back to Branthwaite who brought the ball forward, he got to the area and passed back to Mykolenko, Everton taking their time, he passed to Onana and he found Guler in space on the edge of the box and he smashed it low under the arms of Ramsdale and made it 2-0! Everton sealing the victory! Everton were still coming forward and Moleiro smashed it against the bar on 94 minutes. Everton supporters were loving this. The game ended to bedlam inside Bramley Moore as Everton gave their supporters the perfect payback after defeat to Newcastle! Everton victors against a strong Arsenal side and they made it look easy!
DF: Arsenal had a great chance early on, Saka's shot was blocked by Branthwaite and I thought we were in for a slog but converting that penalty and then stopping them from playing out from the back worked wonders for us. We looked sharp on the ball and really played to our strengths. Very pleased tonight. Beto will be out for a couple of weeks with an anke injury, we'll to make changes to accomodate that especially with a trip to the Etihad in three days. But, tonight, I'm happy!
PLAYER RATINGS
Manchester City vs Everton
2nd December 2025
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Beto was injured and ruled out for a few weeks with an ankle injury so Ferguson made the decision to play Gonzalez up top due to Konate being away at the AFCON. Rodriguez rightly played behind him as he was having a fantastic season, with 5 goals so far and Moleiro, yet to make his first league start, came in on the left. It wasn't a great start for Conte's City, in 4th and 7 points adrift of leaders Chelsea. It was a boost to Everton's chances as Haaland was left out of thr side but Thuram was still a threat with one goal in four appearances so far this season. It was a tight first 30 minutes but Everton holding their own at the Etihad and under no pressure from the home side. Roony took the pass on the right from Samardzic. He couldn't get the cross in but came to Patterson and Everton kept the ball around the Man City area. Mykolenko worked it down the left to Moleiro, he got the ball back to Rodriguez but he skied the shot from outside the box. Man City made changes at half-time and Bernardo SIlva was on for De Bruyne, Everrton had to defend against some early shots but City failed to hit the target. Ferguson made three changes with ten minutes to go, Okoronkwo came on for Roony, Cham came on for Samardzic and Guler replaced Rodriguez. Onana joined the attack on 86 minutes, he tried to find Cham but it deflected to Patterson, he got forward and went for goal but it was blocked by Gvardiol and out for a corner. The corner was cleared out for a throw-in by Lewis and Everton looked to take advantage, it went back to Matsima and he found Cham, he played a through ball into the box for Gonzalez but his shot was turned behind by Akanji. The corner was cleared and Raphina broke forward down the City right, he played it to Lewis but his cross was headed out by Matsima. City kept on the front foot inside stoppage time and Gvardiol crossed hard and low into the box, it hit Branthwaite and went in past Pickford giving Man City an undeserved lead. Heartbreak for Everton! Cham tried one last time for Everton with a lofting pass for Moleiro but it ran out for a goal kick and the City cheers went up. What a shattering defeat for Everton but so undeserved, they performed very well at the Etihad and should be proud of themselves.
Duncan, you took your team to the Etihad and were on top for most of the game with 57% possession. Considering last season the result here was 4-1 to Man City, you must be pleased with the display?
DF: Very pleased. Man City have the quality to hurt you but at times it looked like they were wary of what we were trying to do and we certainly got our foot on the ball and controlled the game. It was a close game and it's disappointing to lose how we did, Jarrad is disappointed but he has the backing of everybody and he can't blame himself for what happened, it's a defenders worst nightmare and it happens to the best of the best.
PLAYER RATINGS
Everton vs Brighton & Hove Albion
6th December 2025
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The busiest period of the season was upon us and the table will take shape around this time. Everton have made a fantastic start and have lost only twice in thirteen games. With Beto and Roony injured, it was up to Nicolas Gonzalez to lead the line and Muhammed Cham to shine in a new role on the right wing. James Garner was named as a substitute today after returning from injury. Everton started on the front foot, a couple of chsances created early on but Cham was in an offside position when he struck over the bar from inside the box. Gross sent in the free-kick for Brighton on 13 minutes but it was headed away by Matsima who has been a rock for Everton this season, he chased the ball down and sent it long for Gonzalez to run on to, he knocked it past Kozlowski and the Everton fans roared him on, just the keeper to beat and he slotted across goal into tbe bottom right, 1-0 to Everton! Moleiro was caught in possession on 23 minutes by Pedro, it allowed Brighton to get on the ball and get players forward. Matsima done enough to deter Evan Ferguson but the ball ran through to Kozlowski who took it in his stride and played it wide right to Pedro, he slotted it through into the box for Ndombele and he nudged it past Pickford to level for Brighton. Everton were not deterred by the equaliser and Moleiro found Rodriguez who sent in an intelligent chipped pass through to Gonzalez who took it down in the area and knocked it over Verbruggen to put Everton back in front! Two goals for the Everton stand-in Striker! Samardzic got on the ball in the centre and went on a run forward, he got to the edge of the box and his shot was turned behind, great save. Rodriguez's corner was headed away but Everton kept the pressure on, Samardzic played it back out to Rodriguez and he sent it to the far post, Moleiro headed back across goal and Gonzalez headed in for his hattrick! Three goals in the first half! Cham crossed in from the right a couple of minutes later and Gonzalez came very close to a fourth with a header that was a couple of inches wide. Everton made a double change with 23 minutes to go, it was both full backs being replaced, Patterson and Mykolenko both off for Maffeo and Roughsn. Another double change for Everton with ten minutes left, Onana was replaced by Zubeledia and Rodriguez went off for Guler. With four minutes to go, Samardzic ran forward, he has covered a lot of ground today, he passed wide to Cham, he played the pass inside to Samardzic and he toe poked it through the defence and into the bottom corner, 4-1! What a day for Everton! Everton played with such confidence and put their chances away. Gonzalez played a perfect game up front and was clinical in front of goal, the players worked tirelessly once again to put Everton's name amongst those mentioned at the early stage of the season as a team with European ambitions!
Duncan, Nicolas Gonzales was exceptional today, can his goals help Everton realise their ambitions?
DF: Nico is a natural Striker, he just happens to also be a decent wide player too, so we have that versatility. Whether he plays from the left, the right or in the centre, he's going to be a key part to our attacking play. He put in a true Striker's performance today and was a threat to Brighton for the whole game.
PLAYER RATINGS
LEAGUE TABLE
Is this the real life or is this just fantasy
Caught in a headlock, no escape from Doucoure
But open your eyes, look up to the skies and seeeeeeeeeeeee
Up the Effing Coasters?
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