Let us begin.
In the summer of 2005 i was a sprightly young man who had the world at my feet, i was employed as a very well health service, earning vast sums of money, i could not spend it quick enough, my own place in the same apartment block as Gerard Houllier and his french buddies Pongolle and Le Tallec. I was doing quite well for myself.
I was mixing with the unsavory kids from my youth in Toxteth, i group with some good lads, who after i left school and lived in Kirkby they begun beheading people, going to prison, and basically becoming murders, drug dealers and the like.
I ran into one of them when visiting my cousin who still living on Smithdown, and one thing led to another and i started to go on very,very long nights out ( weekends ) which begun on Friday night, and generally stopped on Sunday morning ( usually in tears )i begun mixing in circles i couldn't possibly comprehend, i was starting to get into the mix more and more.
I then discovered the devils dandruff, and with that the associated lifestyle, i was in lapdancing bars meeting my mates, not paying a single penny all night cos '' HE KNEW THEM ALL '', this sort of business. You get the picture right? Sweaty nights, pocket full of cash, dodgy mates.
So, one night before a night out, i am in a mates ken in Beetham and whilst doing the deed, we get chatting about his ' business ventures' he looks after girls ( i didn't get on it at first), and that he was doing okay from it, i had not seen this lad since school so it was not difficult not to chat absoloute sh*t for hours. So then, we do our night out, we have a laugh and then return to his.
Out of nowhere, and i do mean nowhere two girls turn up, while i am a sweaty paranoid mess, both utterly stunning scouse girls completely made up and looking gorgeous one blonde and one brunette with perfect boobs, and get told what i'm getting into, i explain the deal ( stupidly bragging ) and that im interested, i left them to chit chat and me to nervously position myself in a spare bedroom ( with a pic of him and his sister on the f*cking wall! put me right of my stroke ! )
Anyway, i am sitting there trying my best attempting to get my little fella to peform.
NOT HAPPENING..
nerves set in, feel a bit sick, and very,very self conscious of the situation and the almighty mess i am ( drink, drugs, paid women, unsavories and generally a stupid, stupid place to be in )
They come in and basically peform on each other, and i egged them, pretending i was more interested in the show than in me participating, and that i enjoyed it.
" No i prefer to watch! "
WATCH YOU PREFER TO WATCH?!?!?!?! the voice in my head SCREAMS.
This goes on for anout 30 odd minutes ( i think ) and they try and get me on to the bed, looking back i was basically sprinting around the bedroom perving at them chewing my own face off. Embarrasing.
I remember sitting on the edge of the bed with one of them draped over me licking my ear, and my stomach churning and my balls dissapearing inside my rectum, i couldn't. I really was in another place, when i put my drink down and lay back, one sat on my lap and another started to kiss me. This felt like i was being assaulted, i wasn't enjoying so she said '' take your shoes off'' so i reached down and in doing so, knocked the drink over on the floor, i sprung up to try and mop it up, instantly destroying the moment, i lifted a ( what i thought ) a towel up and begun mopping it up, i knocked couple of boxes off the chair on the floor, and made it ten times more awkward, in between cleaning my drink up and the boxes, i noticed it was Scrabble and Monopoly, in my infinite wisdom i turned around and said '' i love this game! '' and one of them looked at the other
" WEIRDO '' i saw their eyes scream
" fancy a game" i laughed nervously saying
" er... yeah okay" the fit brunette said
I don't quite recall anything else, this is about 7 year ago, and to this very day cringe my face off to that. i ended up playing scrabble at 3am in the morning with a couple of escorts
and it cost me about £500 ( real money )
My name is bryan, and this is my first terrible threesome experience ( yeah, there is something worse )
