January Transfer Thread 2017

[ToffeeDan]

Dan, this is awful

RAWKesque in fact

No, it's a mickey take - basically not RAWK like at all (which would only see positives and never admit to failings).. more a case of "you let me down again old girl - it was me (the lover of Everton) who was the loser in the story.

 

[Seathestars]

Are there any rumours or pearls of wisdom today from anywhere

 

[Number_25]

Are there any rumours or pearls of wisdom today from anywhere

Belfodil to sign at some point today, or early Monday.

 

[The binman chronicles]

LOL

Well I never, the twit was actually right West Ham are the bigger team.

Their squad averages 182.7cm and ours at 181.3cm.

Not sure what difference that makes in the transfer market though...

 

[SerenityNigh]

You missed a couple of unnecessary '"u's" there Friend.

Sourry, fraund

 

[chrismpw]

Well I never, the twit was actually right West Ham are the bigger team.

Their squad averages 182.7cm and ours at 181.3cm.

Not sure what difference that makes in the transfer market though...

Geesh that apostrophe. You'd think a "landanar" would have a better grasp of English

 

[Chimpy Glassman]

Belfodil to sign at some point today, or early Monday.

Still in Spain bro.

 

[Eggs]

As if I'd do such a thing...

....I was more thinking it might be others saying it to you!!!

 

[Mikey_Fitzgerald]

....I was more thinking it might be others saying it to you!!!

I'm fully confident that they won't be able to

 

[ToffeeTim]

New investors in and still a less attractive prospect than stoke. This is the reality check we all need

Lad?

 

[thebluenosebolt]

Still in Spain bro.

Flight watch is now........ LIVE !!!

 

[orly]

After last week's debacle in the Cup it's time to reissue this


My dearest Everton,

We've been together for, what is it, 40 years? I can't remember just where and when we first met each other (I think my mates were talking about you before we met) - I'm sure you remember less than I do - sometime in the haze of the Swinging Sixties when you were in your prime, attracting all the attention for your style and looks. After a brief courting period in my youth when I played the field - you know, I was seen out with that one from Prenton on a Friday night a few times and, I shudder to think, I even went out a couple of times with that other one from over the Park - you know, the one that went down for that terrible crime - but I knew you were the one - the only one - the way you made me smile, the way you excited me so much under the lights when we met after school on Tuesdays and Wednesdays - you kept me out way too long as we enjoyed each other's company so much...

And yes, eventually, we got married - I worked away but I came home every weekend to spend all my time and money with you. You never once complained about that - you were happy to see me and yes it was good - especially after you apologised for your brief affair with Gordon and made everything up. We even had 4 little ones (well they've grown up now - what are they - the twins (Graeme and Andy) are 26 (born moments apart that wonderful May of 1985) and 24 (also in May, 1987) - Patrick, born in Norwich - gosh they've grown up haven't they - it's been a while since we've seen them - and even young Paul (1995) is now 15. it seems such a long time since those births when those wonderful moments were delivered. In fact you took to mothering them as well as old Grandma Catterick did with her 3 little ones (Alex, Derek, Alan)

But time moves on and we all grow old - we realise we've made mistakes and we can't go back. But we can do something about it - I'm sorry darling but I think you've been taking me for a ride lately - you're only interested in my money - you take me for everything you can and you don't give me much love in return. Yeah sure there's still the occasional spark - but look we've only made it 3 times in the past 6 months (plus we had that terrible row when we were out in Brentford) and, when I look at you next Monday night I'm sure you'll tell me you just don't feel like it and just turn over and go to sleep.

So what am I to do? Yeah I know that awful old Bird from over the Park is still on the scene - still pimping herself for anyone and everyone. But I really don't like her at all. I always thought she stank of p** every time I went round to her place. And the old girl from Prenton isn't worth seeing really. So, I guess I'll just try that lass from Australia - she's got more balls and, I'm told, keeps going for 3-4 days at a time.. So, Everton, either you buck up your ideas or, by next summer, I may well be out of here. You can forget all that talk of moving as well. Sorry I can't afford that new place - much less that place down hill that I've heard you talking about recently (was it called Champions Hipp?)

See you soon - I'll be home for Xmas,

Daniel

PS:I had a chat with someone and he reckons you might be going through the menopause. I think maybe some new medicine - sort it out in January - either temporarily or for a few years. Maybe you fancy somewhere romantic in the New Year - like Scunthorpe!!

Wowzas, this is 100% RAWKing

It's like Aldo meets J. M. Coetzee on a windswept night

 

[Mikey_Fitzgerald]

Or maybe we just don't want him.

Christ mate, cheer up!

Or more likely he reckons he'll get more minutes at Stoke because things are so threadbare there at the moment that they play Crouch and Walters up front?

I personally don't blame him

Plus, Stoke have been pushing for him for ages, so that probably makes him think he'll get a good shake of the stick there

 

[Mikey_Fitzgerald]

Tom Heaton
VVD
Loftus-cheek

I approve of all three of those potential signings!

 

[eurosrees]

The 'Keeper rumours have been a bit quiet this month, are we assuming Koeman is happy with Stekelenburg & Robles until the summer? pretty sure we would have signed Pickford were it not for that horrific injury.