Jokes Thread

[toffeemax]

Post any non-offensive jokes here (no swearing)!

My wife left me last week because of my fetish for touching pasta...


I'm feeling cannelloni right now.

 

[Allezfan]

@Bryan 's sex life is a non offensive joke.

Non offensive because it's pg rated.

 

[summerisle]

Everton to announce new stadium debate within months. I'm sure the answer is funny.

 

[roydo]

Pink piece of concrete went to the pub.

"Not serving you, you cyclepath"

 

[oldblue]

Guy phones the council and says 'I want a skip outside my house'. Guy from council says 'I'm not stopping you'

 

[ItsOKImAPilot]

Pink piece of concrete went to the pub.

"Not serving you, you cyclepath"

 

[ItsOKImAPilot]

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Spoiler

Dam.

 

[Deleted member 28206]

@Bryan 's sex life is a non offensive joke.

Non offensive because it's pg rated.

Feeling brave are we beardo?

 

[JammyP]

Ken Dodd on the radio yesterday - Do jokes go down differently in different parts of the country? "Yes you can tell a joke in Liverpool and everyone is laughing, but nobody does in London ..... They can't hear you."

 

[Kurt.]

this thread is a joke


it's a joke really

 

[Kurt.]

Feeling brave are we beardo?

I've met beardo.... I reckon the man is fierce bry

 

[malfosse]

How do you get down from an Elephant?
















You don't, you get it from a duck.

 

[sageyefc]

Whats the point if its not offensive

 

[ItsOKImAPilot]

What's the difference between England and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

 

[malfosse]

What do you a deer without any eyes?
No eye deer.